Children's Theatre: Captain Quokka Draft

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[Draft Only]

Captain Quokka’s Adventures on the High Seas

A Play in Two Acts

by

Jenny de Reuck

List of Characters

Sol the Seagull - Kate Reid

The Islanders

Captain Quokka, a reformed Pirate - Paul Grabovac

Miss Severity, a Lobster - Alexa Taylor

Desiree Dugong, an Adventuress - Ilona Bartsch

Colonel Cucumber, a Sea Lion - Stephen Pearce

Priscilla Penguin - Caris McGabe

Prunella Penguin - Ng May Yen (May)

Theresa, a Sea Turtle - Melissa Merchant

The Dutch

Katzenellenbogen, a mercenary Spice Trader  - Andrew Kocsis

Marilda, his daughter, a playful Kitten - Bree Hartley

Van Dyk, an inadequate Artist - John Jarzabek

Jan Pierawiet, a heroic young Mouse - Daniel Stone

The Pie-Rats

Bluebeard, the villainous Captain - Steven Knoth

Clarissa, a retired Actress - Lauren Boon

Nell, her Handmaid - Rohan Macdougall

Smart, the First Mate - Jane Woodroof

Sneer, a Pirate in Training - Brittany Barnes

Smee, a drunken Pirate - Alex Olivares

The Undersea Creatures

Crustacean Chorus:

Calypso  - Michelle Brown

Chloe - Jodie Firman

Cordelia - Carol Li-an Chia

Caprice - Erica Hedstrom

Octavia, a Blue-Ringed Octopus - Shola Monger

Harlequin, a mystic, her familiar - Sophie Fryer-Smith

Sequin, a shy Sea-Horse - Ai Ling Yeo

Sharkbait (the band)

Al CaPrawn - Nick Choo

Bugs Abalone - Paula Calleja

Don GioManta - Giulio Rosa

Corlione the Claw - Brendan Jones

Act 1

1.1.

The stage is set with a flat depicting a section of the coral from the underwater scene (Act2). As the auditorium lights dim (LFX) we hear the sounds of the sea (SFX) washing over the stage. Seagulls call across the wave-scape and the Puppeteers enter from the back of the auditorium, flying the seagull puppets down to the stage and exiting SR and SL in front of the black drops.

Sequin, the Sea-Horse peeps round the flat DSR and ducks back away when she sees all the children. She slowly peeps out again, moves a little way out, gets stage fright and dashes back behind the coral flat. Harlequin, a beautiful coral fish, cloaked in the multi-coloured diamond patterns that her name suggests (and carrying a jelly-fish crystal ball, trailing its purple fronds) enters DSL and calls to Sequin, beckoning her, encouraging her to come out of hiding.

Harlequin:                     Come along, now, Sequin. Don’t be shy! There’s nobody here who’ll hurt you. (To the Band). No offence, but ‘Sharkbait’ just isn’t dangerous! (The Band look at each other a little indignantly. They speak with broad, comic Italian mafia accents)

Don GioManta:            (Aggressively) You talkin’ to me.? You say I’m a not dangerous –

Corlione the Claw:            (Boastfully) You’re not dangerous, Don GioManta. But looka me! (Holds up his claw.) Everyone’s afraida me! Corlione the Claw!

Bugs Abalone:              Don’t be silly. We’re NOT dangerous – we’re right at the bottom of the sea-food chain as you very well know. You tell them, Al CaPrawn. We end up as … as bait (she is upset at the thought) or- or as tasty morsels in a sea-food risotto. No-one’s afraid of us!      

Al CaPrawn:                 (He’s really cool). Chill, kid.  We’ve got this gig to perform. Now, Bugs Abalone, you listen to me. Lose the grief. It’s about the music, man … the music …

Al CaPrawn hits the keyboard. The others get back to the essential issue here, picking up their instruments. SFX fairy dust Harlequin looks at her crystal ball.

Harlequin:                     Ooops! (She should be rather vague and scatter-brained, with fluid gestures, picked up in the trailing of her costume) That’s Octavia the Sea Witch calling. We’d better not keep her waiting. (To the Band, anxiously). There’s something on the current, I believe –  a message from the coral reefs up North (to Sequin.) Come along, now, Sequin. We must be off. When Octavia summons us, we listen! (She raises the jelly-fish in a grand gesture).  To Octavia’s Grotto! (Clicks as if encouraging a horse). Follow me.

Sequin reluctantly comes out, noting the children but giving them a wide berth as she moves across the stage, nervously. She and Harlequin exit past the coral, a sweeping movement from each of them establishing their characters through, gesture, costume and LFX.

Fade to black. Except for the Band.

SFX Seagulls, sea.

1.2

The musicians start the Seagull theme as the lights come up on Seagull perched on the rails of the balcony SR. The coral set is removed and the Dutch windmill. A signpost DSR indicates that this is “Amsterdam in Holland”

Seagull:             (Surveying the audience: to the Musicians) Thank you, Al CaPrawn, thank you, thank you. But that’s enough of that for the moment. It’s lovely, but I have to start the play, you know. (Looks nervously  over her shoulder, to the unseen forces of dramatic control. To the audience, confidentially.) The Directors are a bit fierce – and there are so MANY of them! None of us dare argue with them, they run a very tight ship – you’ll see!) (SFX  Ringtone. She takes a conch shell from her pocket and listens, nodding vigorously). (Indicating her mobile). My shell-phone. (To the voice on the other end) Absolutely. Yes, of course – not another word … (in a stage whisper) That’s the Stage Manager – a terrifying woman, absolutely terrifying. (Mimes her going off at him as he puts the shell-phone away). But I’d better not waste any more time. My role in this play: (leans forward expansively) my starring role in this play is to welcome you all to Nexus Theatre, to “Captain Quokka’s Adventures on the High Seas”.  But, first, let me introduce myself: my name is Sol the wandering Seagull, Time-traveller, Story-teller and Chip-eater Extraordinaire. And I have the most marvelous story to tell you. We seagulls were there at the beginning, you see, when all these events took place and when I was just a little fledgling, my mother told me the story her mother had told her, and her mother before her and hers before that …. We seabirds remember it all because we saw what happened and we’re Keepers of the Tribal Memory. So, settle back in your seats, and get ready to join me as we imagine another time, another place. This is a tale of adventure: of lost children and shipwrecks, of violence, greed and cruelty, but it’s also a love-story (sighs).   Listen … and watch. Do you see what I see?

1.4

She slides down a rope (climbs down a ladder) onto the stage. Crosses to the band- stand and narrates the next section as the characters mime the action. Music underpins the narration.

Sol:                              It all began a long time ago (as the best stories always do). There was once a rich Merchant in Holland (twirls the windmill blades) who had a beautiful daughter, Marilda.. Look, there he is now - having his portrait painted by an up-and-coming artist, Mijn Heer Felix Van Dyk.

She is invisible to the characters and plays off this relationship between herself and the audience. Unseen she peers over the shoulder of the Artist and shakes her head in disbelief at the poor quality of the portrait.

As Sol speaks the above, Mijn Heer Katzenellenbogen (a merchant Cat with a thriving business in the Spice Trade) enters DSR with Mijn Heer Felix Van Dyk (the artist, who positions his easel and begins to paint with extravagant gestures.) Katzenellenbogen strikes an arrogant pose in imitation of a Dutch old master.  His daughter, Marilda (a Kitten), runs on (from DSL) and kneels before him pleading with him. She may have a ball of string/wool hanging from her skirt which she twirls in her anxiety.

Sol Seagull:                               Now Marilda was in love with a most unsuitable boy, Jan Pierawiet – a penniless peasant and a … (aside, softly) rodent. Mijn Heer Katzenellenbogen is most displeased as you can imagine  -  (she indicates the action to follow with a gesture)

Marilda:                        Oh Father, please, just listen to me. How can you be so cruel? (She tugs at the hem of his robe)

Katzenellenbogen:        No more, Marilda! I have had enough of your tears and sighs. I will not be moved. My answer is ‘NO!’ And that’s the end of it.

Marilda:                        But Father, I love him – and he loves me! Look, there he is, come to ask your permission to court me.

Jan Pierawit (a Mouse!) enters DSL, his hand over his heart as he looks lovingly over at Marilda.

Jan:                              Indeed, I have come, Mijn Heer (bowing low) to seek your permission to court your daughter whom I love more than life.

Katzenellenbogen:        How dare you! The effrontery of it!You penniless rogue! You – you – MOUSE! (He is lost for words). You’re not fit to scrub her floors. My daughter and a lowly MOUSE! I forbid you to see each other ever again! Van Dyk, Marilda, follow me. (Turning on Jan Pierawiet who makes a gesture to his sword but thinks better of it) And you, you good for nothing young (spits it out) rodent. Never darken my doorstep again!

Exit Katzenellenbogen DSR in a rage. The Artist abandons the task and rushes after him. With the canvas under his arm, facing the audience his talent should be revealed as minimal: he has drawn a smiley cat-face

Jan stands aghast, centre stage as  Marilda runs towards him. The lovers embrace.

Sol Seagull:                   (To the audience, confidentially) Now the path of True Love never does run smooth, but Jan consoled Marilda, saying he was off to sea

Jan:                  I’m off to sea, Marilda,

Marilda:            Oh, Jan!

Sol Seagull:            - to make his fortune

Jan:                  To make my fortune!

Marilda:            Oh, Jan!

Sol Seagull:            - and that one day, no matter what her father said,

Jan:                  No matter what your father says, my love,

Sol Seagull:            - he would return for her:

Jan:                  I shall return for you one day…

Marilda:            Oh, Jan!

Sol Seagull:            -if only she’d wait for him.

Jan:                  Just wait for me, Marilda.

Sol Seagull:            He presses a locket (given to him by his mother on her death bed) into her hands as a keepsake.

Jan:                  Wear this, my mother’s dying gift to me, for my sake.

Marilda:            Oh, Jan. I shall wear it always!

He kneels and kisses her hand, and then exits DSL. Marilda weeps. Lights down on apron. LFX Spot on Seagull. He takes out a large handkerchief, sniffs loudly and empathetically, pulls himself together, and sits on the edge of the stage.

Sol Seagull:            (Energetically, to keep the narrative pace) Time passes, as it always does, and our young lovers have been apart for a year. And business, we discover, has not been good for Mijn Heer Katzenellenbogen. Listen, here they come …. How sad Marilda looks. (Sighs).

Marilda enters and sits on a stool, sewing, but more often than not looking at her locket and gazing into the distance.

Katzenellenbogen:            (Entering DSR, clearly worried, followed by Van Dyk who is still trying to do his portrait. Impatiently brushing him aside) Not now, man, can’t you see this is not the time (He glances at the image) And any way you need to work on the shading – light and dark, ‘chiaroscuro’ as the Italians call it. There’s still no news at all of the Duyfken which should have returned by now. Why have I heard nothing? When will my ship come in?

Sol Seagull:                   (Aside) I’ve news for him! It won’t! Because, I’ve heard tales on the Trade Winds that, on the dangerous route to the Spice Islands, his vessel has been pillaged and plundered …

Katzenellenbogen:            (Catching sight of Seagull) How did that bird get in here? Out you go, then, out! OUT! (He shoos him away)

Sol Seagull:                   (From the ‘safety’ of the auditorium. Indignantly) That’s it, then! I’m not going to tell him what happened. He’ll just have to find out for himself!

Katzenellenbogen:            (Coming to a momentous decision). Van Dyk, we must find my ship. Without it, my business is doomed. As soon as the tide is right we’ll set sail for the Spice Islands, north of the Great Southern Land. If my gold has fallen into the wrong hands  ….       

Sol Seagull:                   (Aside) Which it most certainly has! Little does he know!

Katzenellenbogen:        All will be lost! Come -there’s not a moment to lose! Follow me.

They exit DSR with the ‘portrait’ once again displayed by Van Dyk to the audience. And now it’s a smiley cat face painted bright yellow.

Marilda:                        (LFX Locket glows) What can this mean? Jan’s locket … it’s trying to tell me something.

Jan:                              (SFX Echoing Voice Over) Go with them, Marilda. … Find the Duyfken … I need you.

Marilda:                      (Startled by these events) Oh, Jan’s in great danger! I feel it. I must find him – even if I have to go to the ends of the earth! (Calling) Father, wait, I’m coming with you! (Exits DSR.)

Sol Seagull:                   Well, this is exciting! It’s time, I believe, to meet some of the other characters in my ‘international’ story so, come fly with me, across the oceans, across time itself to that most attractive of all islands, Rottnest (or Rats’ Nest as the Dutch sailors called it) just off the coast of the Great Southern Land.

1.5

Music reaches a crescendo and the Blacks fly to reveal Scene 1, Rottnest Island, the new sign on the signpost. Rostra for elevation at the back with the cut out waves signaling the sea. Puppeteers fly seagulls across the stage. Fishing nets, baskets or large starfish props. strategically placed on the levels, or DS in front of the side panels. Sol Seagull may be half way up the ladder by this time.

SONG (Introduction) and Dance with the Crustacean Chorus, led by the Lobster Ms Severity. [Calypso beat/hornpipe?]

Ms Severity:                 (Almost tearing her feelers off.) That’s as much as I can stand … I mean, that’s all we need to do today, children. Your movements are coming along fairly well, although you still have a tendency to charge off to the side, dear.

Calypso Crab:              (Blushing) I know, no matter how hard I try, it seems I just can’t walk in a straight line.

Chloe Crab:                  (Gushing, nervously) I start off in the right direction, but before I know it, I’m off to the side.

Ms Severity:                 (Impatiently) Well, it takes commitment, and dedication and PAIN, I’m afraid. If you want to improve your postures and move normally like I do. (She does an elegant pose before embarking on a brief promenade.)

Caprice Crab:               (Sulkily) Well, if it it’s painful, then I don’t want to move like you do. Already I’m confused. I can’t tell my front from my back from my side (spins round and falls in a heap.)

The others scuttle – sideways – over to her and pull her up by the claw.

Cordelia:                      (Struggling with the movements) Neither can I!

Calypso:                       Come along Caprice, Cordelia, we’ll get it right. Let’s all do it together.          

Colonel Cucumber, the Sea Lion enters USL. He is extremely ‘British’ with a handlebar moustache and a very marked aristocratic accent. He is slow to anger and scrupulously polite. He is at the mercy of Ms Severity’s feminine wiles. But she is obsessed with Captain Quokka (as we’ll soon discover).

Sea Lion:                      Ahoy there, young crabs. Morning Ms Severity. (Bows politely) If you little scallywags want to join in the Scavenger Hunt, you’d better get going. We want to be ready for Captain Quokka’s return. Priscilla and Prunella, the Penguins, who were on lookout duty, have spotted the sails of the good ship ‘Courage’ just beyond the West End, so he’ll be here soon. Off you go now – but hurry back when the scavenging’s over.

Crabs:                          (Together and over each other) I LOVE scavenging. And scrimmaging – and just scuttling about. Off to join the Scavenger Hunt!!

They exit (sideways) in all directions. Singing? SFX wind. The storm begins to build.

Ms Severity:                 The wind’s coming up in the west. I do hope Captain Quokka isn’t caught by the storm.

Sea Lion:                      Have no fear, my dear, he’s the finest ship’s captain that ever walked the decks, and with a first mate like Theresa Turtle by his side, he’ll bring ‘Courage’ safely to shore. But there’s certainly a storm brewing.

Ms Severity:                 (Not convinced) Mmmnnn. But I don’t like the look of this. There’s something on the tides (she takes a moment to let her feelers register what she senses) No, can’t tell, yet. But something’s not right about this storm.

Priscilla and Penguin flutter in. They’re a bit dim-witted, very anxious, but extremely submissive and loyal to Captain Quokka and they’re both equally concerned about the change in the weather.

Priscilla:                        Ooh! This is awful. This storm has come from nowhere. I know Captain Quokka is the finest captain afloat, but the reefs around our island are so dangerous.

Prunella:                       Why those strange boats that sail past our beaches are forever crashing into them and sinking without a trace. I can still hear the cries of those poor creatures who went down with the ‘Abendster’ a little while ago.

Together:                      They haunt my nightmares.

Ms Severity:                 Pull yourself together, gels! Captain Quokka doesn’t need you to have a fit of the vapours. When he hoves to into the Bay, we should be ready to help him disembark. So kindly restrain yourselves and cease these flights of fancy.

Priscilla and Prunella  subside, mortified by the reprimand.

Sea Lion:                      (Comforting the Penguins) Never fear m’dears, he knows these reefs better than anyone. Climb up the rocks near that Seagull, Priscilla, there’s a good girl, you too Prunella, and see if he’s in sight yet. I must say, this storm is picking up. What. But the Captain enjoys nothing more than a challenge to his seafaring skills.

Ms Severity:                 (Dreamily) It takes him back to the days when he sailed the Seven Seas, as brave a Buccaneer as ever flew the skull and cross-bones from the mast of a wooden barque.

Sea Lion:                      But those days are long gone. Our Captain Quokka saw the error of his ways – he’s a pirate no more.

Ms Severity:                 (Still lost in recollection) But those were the days … it was all so romantic. And the adventures we shared … (she hums a sea-shanty briefly)

Sea Lion:                      My dear Madam, you cannot seriously wish to return to those times! Why, we have every comfort we could desire on the Island.

Ms Severity:                 But where’s the excitement, Colonel. Where’s the thrill of the Unknown. Of danger confronted and overcome - ?

Sol Seagull:                   (To the Audience from the ladder) Little does she know – it’s about to wash up on this very shore. All the excitement she could ever need! But first, there’s Captain Quokka’s landing!

Priscilla:                        (Through her telescope, aimed USR). A sail, a sail! That’s Captain Quokka and the ‘Courage’.

Prunella:                       Oh, look! He’s made it past the reef. Hurrah! He’s safely ashore! (Stage business as they ‘watch’ the ship weave its way through the reefs: leaning to left, leaning to right.)

As Priscilla and Prunella speak, a puppeteer moves across the stage with a two-dimensional cut-out of a sailing ship (‘Courage’) SFX landing – creaking of sails, wood, and the gang plank being lowered. The storm abates. Shouts from the ship offstage (“Ahoy there!”; “Bring her about!”; “Reef the mains’l”, etc.etc.

Seagull gets involved in the excitement and she and the Penguins cheer the Captain on. High fives (flippers?) all round as he comes on stage.

Captain Quokka enters, followed by his first mate, Theresa Turtle and a visitor to these parts, his  companion, Desiree the Dugong.

Theresa:                       I’ll just take a quick dive below, Sir,  to see that we’re properly anchored. I thought I heard something on the hull as we were coming about just then.

She dives underwater, signaled by the waves at the back of the stage.

She is a highly trained sea turtle with an extraordinary martial arts capacity. She is the Captain’s right-hand woman and has seen him safely though several escapades. She is capable of moving between both realms (whether on land or under the sea) and so functions as a mediator between the underwater creatures and those on the land.

Captain Quokka:            Thank you Turtle. Arrgh. What a fine First Mate I have in her! (Slapping Sea Lion on the back and bending over Ms Severity’s outstretched claw.)  Well, me hearties. That was quite an experience!

Dugong:                        (Straightening her skirts and adjusting the laces of her ample bosom. )It most certainly was. For a moment there, sirrah, I thought we were doomed to join the lost souls in Davey Jones’ locker!

Captain Quokka:            (Chuckling) Arrgh. Not with my hand on the helm, my dear.

Ms Severity:                 (Bridling at the implied criticism of her hero) There’s not a finer sailor on the Indian Ocean than Captain Quokka,. He knows the reefs like the back of his own hands.

Priscilla Penguin:            (Clutching his arm) Oooh. I’m so glad you’re back safe and sound, Captain. These winter storms are so wild.

Prunella:                       (Clutching his other arm) We thought you might run onto the reefs and – and – you know …  sink down to Octavia’s grotto.

Captain Quokka:            (Jovially) Now, now m’dears. Of course I’m back (disengages the Penguins), and with a fair passenger – (he bows in Dugong’s direction) – I picked up on the Abrolhos Islands. Welcome, Madam, we Islanders will give you a taste of our Western hospitality.

(He offers her his arm.)

Dugong:                        Thank you Captain. You are most kind.

Sea Lion:                      To the ‘Quokka Arms’, then everyone. (He offers a flipper and Ms Severity  takes it, leaving the Penguins  to follow in their wake.) The Captain must be thirsty –

Priscilla Penguin:            - and hungry.

Sea Lion:                      After his trip to sea.

Prunella:                       I wonder what’s on the menu today?

They begin to exit USL when suddenly the Crustacean Chorus scuttle in. They’re in a state and once again interrupt each other as they speak.

Calypso Crab:              Quick, come quickly – there’s something –

Chloe Crab:                  - some ONE, you mean!

Cordelia Crab:              Washed up by the storm.

Caprice  Crab:              And we don’t know if he’s dead or alive! We saw him in Little Parakeet Bay –

Calypso Crab:              - the Harlequin Fish called us to help.

Chloe Crab:                     But he was so heavy, we couldn’t move him.

Sea Lion:                      We’d better check this out, Captain Quokka. Someone may need our help.

Captain Quokka:            There may be more to this than meets the eye – a body washed up on our shore… aargh … I wonder if this has anything to do with those rogues up North. (Coughs.) Ahem. No need for concern, dear Ladies.

Ms Severity:                 (Excitedly) Concern! My dear Captain, I smell an adventure. I thought there was something on the wind. I could just feel it!

Dugong:                        If there’s an adventure to be had – I’m your woman!  “Concern” is not a word associated with Desiree the Dugong! The Quokka Arms can wait! Let’s inspect this ‘body’ the young crustaceans have discovered.

Prunella:                       (Looking at a map of the Island) It’s quicker to go by the Bay.

Priscilla:                        Yes, let’s follow the coast-line.

 Captain Quokka:            Arrgh. We’ll investigate this matter and return. Come then young Crabs – show us where you found him.

They Exit USR. SFX Seagulls over storm as puppeteers fly seagulls across the apron and EXIT SR and SL

Theresa Turtle and Harlequin appear USC behind the waves. Peeping shyly through the waves Sequin can be seen.

Theresa:                       (Stepping across and onto the rostrum). This is bad news, Harlequin. Are you sure your crystal ball is reliable? The Pie-Rats are really on the move again?

Harlequin:                     Indeed they are. My crystal ball never lies. I got a very clear signal from the Butterfly fish on the Abrolhos. They’re coming our way. And Octavia is furious because she knows they’ll be invading her spaces again in search of the bullion they’ve lost.

Theresa:                       (To the audience). Bluebeard the Pie-Rat. Now there lies a tale. My master, Captain Quokka, once sailed the Indian Ocean with him. Never was there a greater friendship than theirs! Sailors cut from the self-same canvas they were! Brave-hearted, good and true! But things changed, Bluebeard grew greedy and more and more nasty and my master could stand it no longer. He gave up his piratical ways and retired to Rottnest.

Harlequin:                     (She’s been transfixed by her jelly-fish crystal ball.) Octavia’s coming into focus. What can this mean?

Theresa:                       (Musing, staring ahead) It is as was prophesied many years ago. She summons us all to her grotto to receive our instructions. The moment has come for

a great Sea Battle. A battle between the forces of light and the forces of darkness. (Almost to herself) Ah, my Captain, Fate now takes a hand. Your destiny – our destiny, here near this great southern land is upon us!

Harlequin:                     (Anxiously) Come Sequin, follow me. We must warn the others! (She exits SL behind the waves, followed by Sequin)

LFX fade on stage. Spotlight on Theresa, who adopts the Karate Kid pose.

Theresa:                       (Whispering) Do you dare ….?                                 

1.6      

The blacks fly in and (LFX) lights come up on the balcony SR and later on the apron. The scene is a Tavern in Batavia (indicated by the signpost DSR). Two of the Pie-Rats appear on the balcony, ale jugs in hand, singing, a drunken SONG of their adventures, raiding ships, plundering them and making off with the spoils. Bluebeard appears, followed closely by Smee, his faithful side-kick (who carries the rolled up map of the treasure very carefully) striding over to a table on the apron as the SONG finishes, beer tankard in one hand, sword in the other, his cape billowing over his shoulder. He is the Pirate King, Master and Commander of the Black Albatross. His men serve him in fear and trembling. Though he appears to have lost control of the pair up on the balcony.

Bluebeard:                    Arrgh! Service! Clarissa! What’s keeping that woman! What sort of tavern is this, I ask you! Where’s my dinner? Arrgh. I’ve a ship to sail and the tide waits for no-one! Don’t let that map out of your sight, Smee, d’ya hear! Arrgh.

Smee:                           (Clutching it to his bosom). I’ll guard it with my life, Captain.

Bluebeard:                    My dinner, Woman! What’s keeping you?

Clarissa:                       Now, now, Master Bluebeard. Such impatience! Control yourself, sir. Your dinner is on its way.

Nell enters SL, carrying a covered dish, perhaps with a dry-ice FX to suggest its heat. She is clumsy and bumbling and terribly nervous in the presence of so fierce a customer as Bluebeard.

Nell:                             (She rushes her words, perhaps, her sentences tripping over each other.) Your supper, Master Bluebeard. It’s just what you ordered (peers under the lid). Abalone steaks (Bugs gives an audible squeal from the Band), with some deep-fried manta ray rings (Don GioManta drops his guitar and makes a move toward Bluebeard but is pulled back by Al Caprawn) and then there’s lobster thermidore (Corlione puts his claw to his mouth in shock and disbelief) finishing up with some delicious chili prawns (a groan emanates from Al CaPrawn). All baked in a delicate piecrust just as you like it. Yum. (She smiles nervously at him as she places the covered dish on the table.)

Smee:                           (Entranced by the food.) What a wonderful sight.

Clarissa:                       (Arms akimbo, looking at Bluebeard.) You’re not known as a Pie-Rat for nothing, it seems. 

Bluebeard:                    Watch your tongue, you insolent wench! And get your face out of my food, Smee. (Aims a cuff at his ear, but Smee ducks in time!)  I set sail at sunset and those idiotic men of mine (arrgh) are nowhere to be seen! (Pounds the table) If they’re not here in five minutes (arrgh!) (he grows more and more furious as he speaks) I’ll have them keel-hauled, I’ll have them walk the plank, I’ll have them flayed alive …

Nell backs away and retreats behind her Mistress as Bluebeard becomes progressively more irate. Smee retreats, similarly, hiding behind Nell.

Clarissa:                       (Mocking him, slightly ironically) And then you’ll have no-one to trim the sails, or keep watch from the crow’s nest, or man the helm when you need a rest now will you? Not to mention the fact that you need them, foolish as they are, to help you plunder the ships and fight your battles all the way up and down the coast.

Bluebeard:                    (Struck by her wisdom, slightly mollified) Arrgh. You’re right, of course, but no Pirate Captain was ever beset by a greater pair of fools than those two. Where have they got to. (Bellowing) SNEER! SMART! What game d’ya think you’re playing – arrgh!!

Sneer:                           (Leaning perilously over the balcony: and peering down at his Master) Arrgh,  Mr Smart, it’s us that he’s shouting about.

Smart:                          (Slurring his words) So it is! (Arrgh). So it is! But we’re too far away to hear what he’s saying. (Arrgh). And what’s more (he staggers slightly). I won’t be spoken to like that. Mr Sneer. I’m the First Mate after all. And I’m still thirsty. (Drinks the last drop in the jug).

Sneer:                           (A little anxiously) But he’s working himself up into a great rage, Mr Smart. And Bluebeard the Pirate in a rage is a fearsome sight.

Smart:                          Bluebeard the Pirate when he’s not in a rage is a fearsome sight!

Sneer:                           Nods in agreement. (Arrgh) That he is! That he is!

Bluebeard:                    I’ll give them one last chance, Clarissa! Sneer, Smart the ‘Black Albatross’ is about to set sail. I know where the gold bullion from the Duyfken lies – “full fathom five” – off Rottnest Island where we pillaged and plundered it. (Aside) That foolish young rodent who tried to fend us off will be at the bottom of the ocean by now – food for the fishes - another of my many victims! (He laughs unpleasantly. To Smart and Sneer) If you men are not on board when Smee weighs anchor (arrgh) your share of the treasure will be mine – all mine! Ha! Ha! Ha! (He picks up a lobster claw from the plate and strides off stage DSR, laughing evilly.)

Smee:                           Wait for me, Master. I have the map that shows us where the treasure lies. (He demonstrates by holding up the map which shows the treasure chest marked with an ‘X’.)

Sneer and Smart look at each other, down the last drop together, and then rush off in response to the threat to their livelihood.

Smart:                          (Rolling forward and peering down) That Smee will NOT get his paws on my share of the treasure!

Sneer:                           (Swaying slightly, possibly hiccupping by now) Not if I can help it!

Together:                      Down to the docks

Clarissa:                       (Sighs. To Nell) Well, nothing really changes, does it Nell. Here I am, once again, clearing up after Bluebeard who is about to leave me - again. I’m just the girl in this port, to him, but, oh, I remember a time when things were different, before we fled from Merry England and he became what he is today - an evil Pirate and I – to be with him in his shame - left the theatre forever.

Nell:                             Oh, Mistress Clarissa, all those wonderful parts you played! How the audiences cheered. (SFX the memory, sound of an audience clapping)

SONG (About her unrequited love for Bluebeard who is not the man he seems and her previous life on the stage.)

Clarissa:                       Yes, I remember it as if it were yesterday. Still, I know there’s more to him than people think. And this time I won’t be left behind when the ‘Black Albatross’ sails away. (Determined) I’m going with him if it’s the last thing I do. Help me into my costume, Nell. We’ll not be playing the woman’s part in this next escapade!

Nell:                             (Giggling in excitement.) Oooh, Mistress Clarissa. It’ll be just like old times!

LFX Fade on Apron. Lights up on Seagull sitting on the balcony. She continues with the story.

Sol:                              (To the audience.) I like Clarissa and Nell, don’t you? But Bluebeard and the other Pie Rats are really rather horrible. Let’s leave them there for the moment, setting sail in the “Black Albatross” and head back to “Rottnest Island” where the Islanders have made a Very Interesting Discovery!

            .

The blacks fly to reveal the Rottnest Island scene again where the creatures are gathered round a somewhat bedraggled Jan Pierawiet, CS, who opens his eyes to see them assembled around him. The sign points to “Little Parakeet Bay”. SFX seagulls and waves. Theresa  and Harlequin, with Sequin in tow, swim up behind the waves and watch carefully.

1.7

Crustacean Chorus: (Nervously sidling up to him, as a group. Pointing with their claws, but hiding their faces) There it is! The thing we saw. Look, it’s moving! (They scurry away together and huddle in fear CS at the rear.)

Jan:                                          (Sitting up and looking dazedly around him). Where am I? What happened?

Ms Severity:                             You’re on Rottnest Island, my lad, and by the looks of things, lucky to be alive!

Desiree Dugong:                        Indeed, if the storm hadn’t washed you ashore you’d have gone to meet your maker!

Ms Severity:                             (To Dugong) These warm-blooded creatures are so limited, really.

Desiree Dugong:                        (Muttering agreement.) Yes. Yes. So limited!

Captain Quokka:                       Now, now, Ladies, let’s not offend our young visitor. What brings you here to our southern shores, young fella? You seem to have a tale to tell.

Jan:                                          Well, it’s a long story, really …

Priscilla:                                    Oh, do tell us! We love stories.

Prunella:                                   Light the fire, Priscilla and let’s hear what he has to say.

The Crustaceans:                 A story, a story!  (They sidle into a semi circle round the fire with Jan in the middle)

Colonel Cucumber:                    Now, let’s begin at the beginning. Who are you? And how did you come to be washed up on our Island?

Sol Seagull picks up the narrative. As Jan ‘speaks’ he mimes the events with the other characters all reacting in mime to the details he depicts.

Sol Seagull:                               Jan Pierawiet tells the creatures that he who has rowed away, alone, at dead of night from a vicious crew of Pie-Rats who are plundering and pillaging as they sweep all before them.

Theresa Turtle:              It’s just as we feared, Captain Quokka. Bluebeard is coming this way.

Sol Seagull:                               (She becomes dramatic in her description and Jan’s gestures – and his audience’s reactions – are equally intense). He describes his experiences at the hands of this thieving crew, his frightening flight from the violence on the ‘Black Albatross’ and his near drowning off the shores of Rottnest when his little boat was hit by the storm. He warns the Islanders that the Pie-Rats will want him dead – he knows too much about their doings. He also knows the exact position of the bullion from the Duyfken, Mijn Heer Katzenellenbogen’s ship, which was sunk a few nautical miles off Rottnest.

Jan:                                          (Finishing his tale) Bluebeard and his villainous henchmen, I fear, will not be far behind.

Captain Quokka:                       (Somberly) We are all in great danger, my friends. These Pie-Rats will stop at nothing to regain their treasure. Prunella, Priscilla – keep a lookout for the sails of the ‘Black Albatross’!

They waddle off and climb the ladder and, using their telescopes, peer into the distance.

Crustacean Chorus:                        (Together) This is awful!

Calypso:                                   You know what they’ll do, don’t you?

Chloe:                                      We’ll be crab pate

Cordelia:                                  Oooh! Don’t say that!

Caprice:                                   But it’s true!

With a little shriek, they scuttle off and, like mini ostriches, crouch down, covering their heads with their claws                  

Prunella:                                   (From the lookout position.) There’s someone coming round the headland!

The Crustaceans look up, shriek and hide in the sand. The other animals all gather to look at who’s coming from DSR

Priscilla:                                    (Over her shoulder) They’re not Pie-Rats! But who are they?

Sol Seagull:                               It’s Mijn Heer Katzenellenbogen, with Marilda and Felix Van Dyk the inadequate artist! (She looks at his drawing). They’ve come to Rottnest because they’ve heard that this is where the Duyfken went down. And Katzenellenbogen wants his treasure back!

Marilda, Katzenellenbogen and Van Dyk enter as Sol speaks, dusting the sand and seaweed from their clothes. They carry a trunk with their belongings in it and Van Dyk places his easel down,  SR. The image on his canvas is a little more advanced – some whiskers, perhaps and a tail. He sits on the trunk and takes in the scenery. He will have a change of style as Act 2 progresses – moving from portraits to landscapes.

Katzenellenbogen:                    (To the assembled creatures.) Greetings from the Old World. (He bows low and Marilda curtseys, stepping forward as she does so.)

Jan sees her and steps towards her. LFX Spot on the two of them as the other characters freeze and the stage lights dim.

Jan:                                          Can it be?

Marilda:                                    (Almost lost for words). My true love!

Jan:                                          Here at the end of the world. (They embrace).

Marilda:                                    See, I still wear the locket you gave me.

Jan:                                          My faithful love!

Katzenellenbogen:                    (LFX returns to normal) Enough of this! We are here on a mission. I am told that Captain Quokka is the man to help me find the Duyfken and my buried treasure.

Captain Quokka:                       Indeed. And so I will. But first we must defeat a wily opponent! This young man has escaped the clutches of my sworn enemy but he’s headed this way -

Colonel Cucumber:                    Bluebeard the notorious Pie-Rat!

Jan:                                          To find your gold, Mijn Heer.

Marilda:                                    (Afraid. Clasping his hands) Oh Jan! They will destroy us!

Crustacean Chorus:                        (Together) We’ll be crab chowder! We know it!

Miss Severity:                           Nonsense girls. We will have to think of a plan! It can’t be that hard!

Dugong:                                    I met him once, you know! And a nastier creature it would be hard to find. Wanted me to walk the plank! I ask you. Clearly had no knowledge that even if I did I’d merely swim away! We sea-creatures don’t have their limitations!

Colonel Cucumber:                    Bluebeard, I’m afraid, has very few limitations. What! But there must be something we can do.

Theresa:                                   Indeed there is! And I know the very creature who can help us!

Captain Quokka:                       Of course you do! What would I do without you, Theresa.

Harlequin:                                 (Looking into her jelly fish) It’s just as you predicted, Theresa. How do you do it?

Theresa looks inscrutable. Perhaps she and Captain Quokka exchange a look?

Theresa:                                   The future see I! Much knowledge have I …

Harlequin:                                 You saw this coming! We’ve been summoned to the Grotto. Octavia wants us all to attend her there. She has something very important to tell us.

SONG (and DANCE) involving all the cast. Pie-Rats, Clarissa and Nell on the balconies

[To Octavia’s Underwater Grotto]

Scene finishes with Theresa Turtle in Karate Kid pose (?)

Blacks fly in leaving only Sol the Seagull on the Apron. LFX dim. Sol in spotlight.

1.8

 Sol Seagull’s conch (‘shell phone’) rings and she listens to the voice on the other side.

Sol:                              Is it really? Already? Right then. (To the audience) That’s the Stage Manager! And she says it’s “INTERVAL”

Lights up. House lights up.

SFX CD from sound box

Act 2

2.1

SFX Wave-scape to introduce Act 2. Sharkbait play the opening theme/Sol’s theme as the house lights (LFX)  dim and Sol  is seen perched on the ladder and lit (LFX) Sound-scape once again (SFX grows fainter but is still heard behind her speech.)

Sol:                              (‘Shell’ phone to her ear) Squawk! What do you mean you can’t put me through? All our oceans are busy!? I don’t believe this! (Annoyed). No, wait! Don’t put me on hold! (To the audience) If I have to listen to another second of whale-song while I wait for them to get back to me -  (She closes it and puts it away.) Just typical of this backstage crew! I’ll bet they’re all still having tea and scoffing cakes and don’t realize that: ‘INTERVAL IS OVER’ (spoken towards the Stage Manager’s position) and the show must go on! Look here comes the Harlequin Fish with her little friend, Sequin. They must be on their way to Octavia’s Grotto.

Puppeteers fly brightly coloured  fish across the apron, exiting SL and SR after the cross-over

Harlequin:                     Don’t dawdle, Sequin (she’s again peeping round the coral flat and retreating) there’s no time to lose. And Theresa, who usually thinks of everything, has forgotten something VERY important!

Theresa:                       (Entering through the auditorium) Forgotten, something, have? How can this be? (To the audience as she walks past them.) A turtle NEVER forgets! (She holds a starfish aloft) Perhaps you mean this – the magic starfish? (SFX star-dust/magic)

Harlequin:                     (Smiling, relieved) I should never have doubted you, Theresa. Of course you remembered!

Theresa:                       Without magic, the land creatures – Captain Quokka and his visitors – will not survive the trip to Octavia’s Grotto. It’s a very dangerous journey for us all – but especially for them.

Don GioManta:            Dey betta watch out for da sharks!

Corlione the Claw:   And da sting rays. Hoo boy dey can hurt ya.

Bugs Abalone:             (Intensely, recalling the experience) Yeah! I was stung by a box jelly fish once and it was nearly the end of me.

Al CaPrawn:                 And then there’s the Sea-Weed Forest to swim through, where anything can happen – you’ll need to guide them all very carefully, Theresa …

Theresa:                       Guide them I will – very carefully. But we can’t do this alone, can we Harlequin?

Harlequin:                     (Shaking her head) No, indeed we can’t, Theresa!

Theresa:                       (Turns to face the audience) We’ll need your help!

Corlione the Claw:   (In utter disbelief) You want them to help you!?

Al Caprawn et al:            (Together, indicating the audience. Also in disbelief) No chance! No way, man. Dey won’t do it!

Harlequin:                     (Indignantly) Don’t be so certain. We only need ONE of them.

Theresa:                       That’s true, Harlequin. But the more of them who join in, the safer it’ll be for our land creatures.

Corlione:                      You don’t stand a chance. (The others mutter into their instruments, “No way”, “Forget it”, “Not this lot”.)

Theresa:                       We’ll see, then. (To the children, with Harlequin and Sequin on either side of her, supporting her). Does anybody here believe in magic?

(Hopefully there’ll be a positive response – it’s up to the performers to orchestrate this next bit, and if all else fails, Sol the Seagull can be dragooned into ‘believing’. She should, in any case, participate in the scene, encouraging the audience to the appropriate outcome.)

Theresa:                       That’s absolutely wonderful! Isn’t it Harlequin? Look how happy Sequin is. (Sequin should now respond to the children more directly and without fear, perhaps holding the hands of one of the smaller children.) What this means is that the starfish can weave her magic (we couldn’t do this if you didn’t believe in magic) –

Sol:                              (Squawk) That’s right, we need children to believe in magic if the story is to continue!

Theresa:                       - and all the land creatures can dive safely beneath the waves, down through the Sea-Weed Forest, past the coral reefs, to Octavia’s grotto.

She waves the starfish through the air an, after a freeze during the scene on the balcony,  begins a chant.

2.1.1

Sneer and Smart appear on the balcony, telescopes to their eyes. They’re on the ‘Look Out’ for their Master and become interested observers of the events that follow.

A bit of business with the telescope – they see each other (enlarged); they shriek, settle down and carry on looking at what’s going on.

Sneer:                           (Peering at the stage). What have we here, then, Mr Smart?

Smart:                          (Peering with equal enthusiasm). I’m not sure, Mr Sneer, but  it’s probably important. Keep a close eye on them – we might have to report this to (Music Cue) Captain Bluebeard!

Sneer:                           That we might!

Smart:                          And, Mr Sneer, this information may be the undoing of that whining, ingratiating, bag of wind, Mr Smee.

Sneer:                           Indeed, Mr Smart, that Smee wormed his way into our Master’s good graces. (Mimicking him) “Yes, Captain Bluebeard, Sir”, “No, Captain Bluebeard, Sir”. Arrgh. It’s quite sickening to behold (pretends to vomit, theatrically).

Smart:                          It’s enough to turn a pirate’s stomach, it is! Arrgh.

Sneer:                           Quiet, Smart – let’s hear what the Turtle is saying. Something’s up, I tell ya!

Smart:                          (Subsiding) Arrgh. It certainly is!                  

Theresa:                       (Engaging the children, after this interruption She holds the starfish above her head like an offering to the gods.) Now, children, for us to make this work, and keep the land creatures from drowning as they make their way to Octavia’s grotto, you need to say after me – (she speaks one line at a time so that the children can say it with her:

                                    “Starfish, starfish from the sea

                                    With your magic cover me!”

Come, on, Captain Quokka, Katzenellenbogen, Jan and Marilda; come one, come all! I’m giving you the ‘all clear’! Starfish magic – and these children – will protect you on your journey to Octavia’s grotto, under the sea.!

SFX Magic Dust. The band plays a theme that marks their entry.

Harlequin:                     Here they come! (Sequin bolts back to hide behind Harlequin and peep out as the Creatures descend on the apron.)

Priscilla and Prunella Penguin enter through the auditorium SL, Captain Quokka, Dugong, Colonel Cucumber and Miss Severity enter through the auditorium SR. They are followed by the Dutch, including Van Dyk, whose canvas now depicts a very rudimentary set of waves. The crabs enter ‘severally’ from SL and SR. Everyone should now be wearing swimming gear of the sort used to bathe in during the 19^th Century. The Penguins need to reflect a more youthful quality – perhaps in their caps? But everyone (except the Crustacean Chorus  and Theresa, Harlequin and Sequin) should look ready for a swim. Each will pass under the Starfish and when necessary, SFX magic will sound to indicate the power of belief that will keep the land creatures safe. Once they’re all on stage, the next exchange begins.

Colonel Cucumber:            Marvelous! What! Come along then. Let’s head for Octavia’s grotto and hear what she has to tell us about seeing off these villains.

On the balcony, Smart and Sneer react.

Smart:                          Arrgh. That’s us, for sure!

Sneer:                           It is, I’ll warrant ya. Arrgh!

Captain Quokka:            Lead the way, my First Mate! Down to the depths we go.

Miss Severity:               (Looking at the children as they all head off) Who would have thought that young humans today still believe in magic!

Dugong:                        Like you, Madam, I’m amazed. Absolutely amazed!

They exit SL after the others.

As the others follow and  exit SL  they speak the following lines:

Priscilla:                        Ooh. I’m scared!

Prunella:                       Me too!

Together:                      (Turning to each other.) This is so-o-o- not cool!

They waddle off SL

Calypso:                       (Anxiously) I hate the Sea-Weed Forest.

Chorus:                        (Together) It’s so scary!

Chloe:                          Just remember to keep your claws clear.

Caprice:                       And your feelers free!

Cordelia:                      And watch out for sh- sh-

Chorus:                        Shshshshs! Don’t mention ‘SHARKS!’

They leave, following the others, SL       

Katzenellenbogen:        I hope this “magic’works. I hate getting my fur wet.

Van Dyk:                      (Confidingly) About your painting, Mijn Heer. I’m using water colours, so it’s not going to be a problem, really.

Katzenellenbogen looks at him briefly, but he’s beneath his master’s notice, so simply ignores him.

Marilda:                        Oh Jan!

Jan:                              I’ll be with you, Marilda!

Katzenellenbogen:        Stop this lovey dovey nonsense. We’re not out of trouble yet! I must find my bullion – without it, I face ruin!         

They all follow the lead of Theresa Turtle and Harlequin off stage (SL). The Starfish is placed DSR near the coral flat and remains there during the entire underwater scene.

Sol:                              I hope the magic works for me, too! NOTHING would keep me from following them all to Octavia’s grotto. This is soo exciting. Squawk!!

She climbs down the ladder and follows them off stage, with a salute to the Band. SL.

On the balcony, Smart and Smee react.

Smart:                          Bluebeard must hear of this, Mr Sneer. Arrgh.

Sneer:                           That he must, Mr Smart. Arrgh. And we’re the very ones to tell him. We’ll show that Smee! (Mimicking Smee’s abject sucking up to Bluebeard) “Anything you please, Sir, whatever you want, Sir”. Let’s show him!

Smart:                          Arrgh. To ‘The Black Albatross’. Follow me.

They exit excitedly and the lights on them and on the apron dim.

2.2

Musical theme from the finale, Act 1 segues into the build up to the revelation of Octavia’s realm. SFX eerie underwater sounds, bubbles, whale song, dolphin clicks etc. Dry ice should pour out from beneath the blacks in the build up to the curtain flying. LFX Coral, grotto: blues, greens creating a frightening effect.

The Puppeteers fly their fish across the stage, adding to the effect.

The curtain flies to reveal Octavia, CS. She is an ambiguous creature with great prophetic powers. She has lived for centuries in her grotto having discovered an elixir that guarantees her immortality. For years she has lived peacefully, but since the explosion of trade in the Indian Ocean and the piratical escapades that have followed, her peaceful – and beautiful – domain has become a dumping ground, with wrecks on the sea-bed, chests full of gold and jewels (for which she has no use!) and unwelcome visitors (travelers), usually trying to retrieve their lost goods! She resents intruders, but can see the bigger picture and will ultimately benefit, herself, from assisting the Islanders and their Dutch colleagues in their fight against Bluebeard and his evil crew.

SONG.                                   

SFX clanking of chains, crunch of wood on sand/shell. LFX Shadow (of the boat) across the stage.

Octavia:                        What was that?! Not another ship anchoring on the coral! (She has a moment of telepathic foresight before responding). It’s that Buccaneer, Bluebeard, and the crew of the ‘Black Albatross’, no doubt! Have these fools no idea of the damage they do? There goes a whole segment of the reef! If they’re not shattering the coral with their metal anchors, their ships are crashing to the sea-bed. At least then (she laughs in an evil tone) the sailors plunge to a watery grave and I have my revenge on ALL of those ignorant land creatures.

As she speaks she moves unpredictably, her tentacles (suggested by fabric fronds rather than any lengths of tubular material) swirling around her. She should be capable of rapid movement and intense stillness. The character requires physical and vocal control to be fully effective.

Octavia:                        I’ve finally got through to that bird-brained Harlequin fish (she’d try the patience of a salmon) so I imagine they’ll be here any moment now. It’s seldom I have to summon my subjects to me, but enough is enough, and if that gross pirate Bluebeard starts looking for his treasure chest around here, my peace and quiet will be utterly destroyed. (Looks around quickly) I know, I’ll pretend I’m not here and hide behind those rocks. I LOVE making an entrance – (strikes a dramatic pose) – and that’s one thing I can do down here! I’ll sur-prise them all! Now where shall I hide?

She darts back and forth a few times then hides behind the coral flat DSR. She places her finger on her lips, telling the Band and the audience to be still.

Music theme for entry of the creatures, led by Theresa and Harlequin, who has Sequin by her side. They call out to each other from different parts of the stage and enter in their groups, warily looking about them. Dugong is in her element (literally) and Ms Severity has the Crabs in tow (their anxiety keeps them in a row – side-on – behind her, while Captain Quokka, Col. Cucumber and Katzenellenbogen form a central group. The two land creatures may be experimenting with their breathing and from time to time could comment on their capacity to breathe under water. “Astounding”; “Astonishing”; “Quite incredible”; “In – out, in – out.” “Extraordinary” etc. Prunella and Priscilla are energetically engaged in checking out the seascape, carefully examining objects they find on the sea bed a shell, perhaps, a rope of pearls, sea-weed etc.) They align themselves with Theresa and Harlequin who are the clear leaders of this expedition. Jan and Marilda keep slightly apart from the others, but are focused on the action throughout this scene, rather than on their reunion.

Desiree Dugong:                        (Turning from an examination of the coral.) And where, may I ask is she? How typical of Octavia! Her manners leave a great deal to be desired, I feel. I met her once, you know, never took to her, really. A bit of a performer to my mind!

Ms Severity:                             I am amazed, quite frankly - after all our efforts to get here- to find that she’s nowhere to be seen! (To the crabs) Girls, scuttle off, now and see if you can spot her. She must be here somewhere.

The Crustacean Chorus scurries off, and synchronise an action that has them bury their heads beneath a claw.   

Desiree Dugong:                        I say, Captain Quokka, do you think your First Mate (she gestures with her parasol – does it match her bathing suit, perhaps?) might have got the location wrong?

Captain Quokka:                       No chance of that, my dear. Theresa is the wisest creature I know –

Priscilla:                                    (Rushing up in support) And she’d never have brought us here if there was any doubt, would she, Colonel Cucumber?

Colonel Cucumber:                    Not a chance, young Priscilla. Not a chance!

Prunella:                                   (Earnestly to Dugong) She was awesome! The way she guided us through the Sea-Weed Forest –

Crustaceans:                             (Shrieking, and peeping out from beneath their claws at the recollection) Oooh! The Sea Weed Forest!

They need to synchronise their actions from now, punctuating the exchange with their lines.   

Ms Severity:                             (Trying valiantly to control them.) Girls!

Priscilla:                                    - and past that cave where the Sharks hang out!

Crustaceans:                             Oooh! The cave where the SHARKS hang out! (They duck back down) 

Ms Severity:                             Now girls!

Prunella:                                   Till we reached this (shivers in excitement) freaky place.

Priscilla:                                    It’s awesome!

Ms Severity:                             (Ever the pedagogue) Try for a little variety in your adjectives, girl. I’m certain it wasn’t a religious experience! I know it wasn’t for me!

Colonel Cucumber:                    There’s no need to be quite so harsh on ‘em, Madam. They’re helpful little things, full of spirit, ready for any adventure. I’m sure she doesn’t mean it, m’dears. Now back to the look out! That’s the ticket!

The Penguins waddle off, slightly crestfallen, to where Theresa and Harlequin are standing, looking back into the ‘depths of the ocean.

Katzenellenbogen:                    The place does seem rather deserted, though. No sign of life! (Breathing in and out, testing the ‘magic’) And no sign of my treasure, either. This can’t be where the Duyfken sank! What have you to say, now, Jan Pierawiet?!

Jan:                                          It’s difficult to tell from this angle, but I marked it by that bit of coral (gestures to the backcloth). I’m sure this is precisely where the bullion landed. Though I can’t see it anywhere!

Katzenellenbogen:                    I hope you’re not wasting my time!  You’ll be sorry if you are.

Marilda:                                    Please Father, be patient. Look – Theresa has seen something. What is it, Theresa?

SFX, Music Cue, LFX create a build up that precedes Octavia’s entry.

Theresa:                                   (Steps forward on the rostrum, CS). The Sea Witch approaches.

Harlequin:                                 (Anxiously but in a gradually more potent introduction) Everyone bow down low before her – the mightiest of the Sea Creatures, whose magic gives her the power over LIFE …. And – DEATH!      

Theresa:                                   Her inky Majesty, the Blue-Ringed Octopus, Octavia, grants us her presence.

Crustaceans:                             (Briefly dropping their claws from their faces and peering out In a loud stage whisper.) Did she say ‘presents’? Are we getting ‘presents’? We love presents! Is it somebody’s birthday?

Ms Severity:                             (In annoyance – interrupting them) Silence, girls. Not another word!  

Theresa:                                   I give you – Octavia. (She gestures to where Octavia will enter.)

Octavia should appear in more regalia (a crown, a dramatically furled cloak, carrying a sea-shell scepter– anything to make her both regal and threatening). Audible gasps from the assembled creatures. Big musical moment; with orchestrated SFX and LFX to layer the scene. More dry ice to add mystique.

Octavia:                                    (She’s on good terms with Theresa but quite contemptuous of the others.) (Aside to the audience) I told you I liked making an entrance.

Dugong:                                    (Drily) Yes, I recall. (To Captain Quokka) Never could resist a moment in the Spotlight!

Theresa:                                   We’ve come in answer to your summons, oh powerful one!

Captain Quokka:                       (Stepping forward, to flatter her a little.) And to seek your help. Theresa the Turtle, my faithful First Mate has told us of your wisdom.

Octavia:                                    (Melting a little, but shifting gears as she speaks – at times pleasant, at other times nasty). Has she now? She was always the most intelligent of my apprentices. And what are you staring at? (She swirls around, briefly, noticing the Crustaceans who shriek and dive back down with their faces behind their claws.)

Miss Severity:                           (Jumps protectively to their defence, her own claws spread in from of them.) Be still, girls. Not another move from you.

Octavia:                                    (Ignoring them and standing CS again, addressing Captain Quokka) Speak, then, and tell me why you have come in search of my wisdom.

Captain Quokka:                       There is danger on the waves –

Octavia:                                    There always is!

Captain Quokka:                       But in this case we know it’s close and that we have to defeat – somehow – that most villainous of all creatures –

ALL:                                        (Loudly, intensely) Bluebeard the Pie-Rat!

Theresa:                                   (Pointing out the obvious) And his devilish crew.

Octavia:                                    Buccaneer Bluebeard, eh? (She swirls around, then listens intently as they go on, not giving away a thing)

Dugong:                                    (To whoever is listening) I met him once you know – nasty piece of work!

Katzenellenbogen:                    He sank my ship, the Duyfken, and is after the gold bullion in its hold

Marilda:                                    He cast my beloved adrift, and left him for dead!

Jan:                                          But, if he knows I’m alive, he’ll seek me out to finish off the job -

Marilda:                                    Oh Jan!

Jan:                                          - because I know where the Duyfken went down!

Katzenellenbogen:                    And if the Mouse is murdered, I’ll never find my bullion. And all will be ruined! (He gestures dramatically, and is comforted by Marilda)

Van Dyk:                                  Ja, ja, Mijn Heer. Hold it like that – that’s just what I’m after!

Van Dyk will have been sketching vigorously and tearing up his sketch paper from time to time as he tries to depict the scene for posterity. Ms Severity should close in as an informed observer, and Sol the Seagull could peer over, too.

Octavia:                                    (Stunned by this turn of events!) How very odd!

Theresa:                                   (Trying to regain control) But, back to the matter at hand! Oh Wise One!

Captain Quokka:                       We seek your advice in the face of a common threat! What shall we do with Bluebeard coming this way!

Crustaceans:                             It’s too dreadful!

Chloe:                                      We’ll be Crab Pate, I know we will!

Ms Severity:                             Now girls, don’t work yourselves up!

Cordelia:                                  Crab Chowder, we’ll be SOUP!

Ms Severity:                             Of course you won’t be!

Caprice:                                   Or a …a Crab Soufflé!

Ms Severity:                             They’re not that inventive!

Calypso:                                   If those Pie-Rats get here, we’ll be crusty CRAB pies!

Ms Severity:                             (Musing) Now that is a possibility!

Colonel Cucumber:                    Not if we can help it, Madam! We are here for advice. Let us hear the Wise One’s words.

He bows before Octavia, who is suitably impressed. She steps down, takes his hand in her tentacle and then dramatically gestures for quiet!

Octavia:                                    Peace, I have heard enough! Now it is my turn to speak! These Pie-Rats are the scourge of the Seven Seas!

Captain Quokka:                       (Aside) Yet how exciting their lives are!

Octavia:                                    They pillage and plunder –

Katzenellenbogen:                    They do! They do! They pillaged and plundered my poor little Duyfken. … (he starts to sob, taking out a large silk handkerchief and vigorously blowing his nose)

Octavia:                                    As I was saying – (she gives them a look to bring them back to order) – they pillage and plunder and pollute the sea-bed.

Captain Quokka:                       But how they LIVE – the passion! It was my life, once!

Octavia:                                    And they damage the habitat of all who live in my dominions!

Theresa:                                   (With a hand on Quokka’s shoulder to steady him. She alone is aware of the choices his weighing up) They must be stopped! This you know, Master.

Captain Quokka:                       (Pulling himself together) Of course I do, Theresa. But there are times when it’s hard to resist the siren call on the tide.

SFX Roistering sound of the pirates/the tavern/voices raised in song/the clash of swords.

Theresa:                                   That was a long time ago, now, Master. Remember your promise!  

Sol:                                          (To the audience) What’s this? Our hero, Captain Quokka, a marsupial with a murky past. What can this mean? 

Octavia:                                    (Observing his conflict. Laughing in mockery!) Ah, Captain Quokka. You can feel his tendrils pulling at you, sucking you back – back to another time and place! But are you strong enough to resist? (She swirls round him, taunting him, nudging him with her tentacles)

Colonel Cucumber:                    I say, give the chap a chance, your Majesty! He’s one of us now!

Octavia:                                    (Laughing cruelly) But only just! Look at him – he’s torn two ways. Look at his face – there’s ‘temptation’ written all over it! If I wasn’t so determined to rid myself and my underwater world of Bluebeard and his hideous crew, I’d ENJOY this moment! (She switches from laughter and mockery to vicious intensity) But Bluebeard must be banished and order restored once more to my treasured realm.

Jan:                                          I’m afraid, your Majesty, he’ll stop at nothing! I know what he’s capable of!

Octavia:                                    (Swirls round and addresses Jan) And you think I have no idea, young Mouse? (She glares at him malevolently as Marilda clutches his arm).

Jan:                                          No, of course not! Oh mighty Sea Witch.

Dugong:                                    (Taking the bull by the horns). I think it’s established that Bluebeard is to be challenged – but our question is how?

Ms Severity:                             We’ve answered your summons and – at great risk to the land creatures who have had to rely on magic (she acknowledges the audience) -  thank you children – to stay alive, we’ve braved the elements –

Crustaceans:                             The Sea Weed forest! (They shudder)

Priscilla and Prunella:                       And the cave where the sh- sh- sh- SHARKS hang out!

Marilda:                                    (With youthful earnestness) Yes, we’ve come all this way, now, and been frightened and … and BRAVE! And we’re ready to do anything to defeat Bluebeard the Pie-Rat rather than turn into – into nouvelle cuisine in the galley of the Black Albatross!

Dugong:                                    (Impressed at this outburst) Well spoken, Marilda! You’re a real brick!

Captain Quokka:                       (Murmuring) Out of the mouths of kittens! Fair words, Marilda.

Jan:                                          (Delighted at her bravery in challenging Octavia) My soulmate!

Katzenellenbogen:                    Don’t start that lovey dovey stuff again, please! (To Octavia) I lost everything I owned when my ship went down and now Bluebeard is coming for my gold! I must get to it first! But how?

Octavia:                                    (Resigning herself to a more prosaic activity) Oh very well, if you must know, you have been chosen –

All:                                           (In disbelief) Chosen?

Captain Quokka:                       Please tell us more, your Majesty.

Octavia:                                    (Raising her voice, and lifting her scepter) Yes, CHOSEN to fight an elemental battle; a battle between GOOD – (She looks down at them from her full height) –that’s you lot! And EVIL

All:                                           (With a flash of recognition) That’s Bluebeard the Pie-Rat!          

Octavia:                                    (With some irony) They’re sharp, they’re really sharp! And to defeat the Forces of Evil, you will need to train – to train as you never imagined you would.

Priscilla:                                    (Enthusiastically) Just tell me what to do –

Prunella:                                   - and me, too!

Captain Quokka:                       This will never work, oh Wise One! I know Bluebeard and a better swordsman doesn’t exist in the Southern hemisphere.

Octavia:                                    Who mentioned swords? My plan is more cunning than that – (she turns towards Theresa who has her back to the audience) – meet your trainer, Theresa, the Ninja Turtle!

Theresa places the relevant band round her head, a belt over her tunic and steps into the spotlight. She adopts, once more, the Karate Kid Pose. Harlequin and Sequin clap in approval. Music, SFX and LFX signal a new state.

All:                                           Gasp!

Col. Cucumber:                        (Chuckling) East meets west – oh this is devilishly cunning! What!

Captain Quokka:                       (Filled with admiration) My first mate, I had no idea …

Everyone gathers to admire their teacher’s prowess. Octavia closes the scene.

Octavia:                                    There is very little time – Bluebeard is already anchored above us. Watch, listen, obey – your Master has much to teach you.

Theresa:                                   Follow me (She performs some of her moves, which they all attempt to imitate her)     Ours is an elemental battle!

Quokka:                                   (Aside) A battle I must not lose!

Octavia:                                    The training begins. (Her voice reaching a crescendo) Creatures of the land and sea you will – together – confront and defeat this enemy!

Van Dyk quietly shows his ‘watercolour’ to Seagull, pointing out the fact that it’s a ‘group’ painting and not a portrait.

The characters all maintain their rudimentary movements as the curtain falls.               

To be concluded next week: the remainder of Act 2.

2.3

We meet Clarissa and Nell, disguised as boys.

2.4

The Arrival of the ‘Black Albatross’. The Pirates and Islanders get acquainted.

2.5

Underwater again: Theresa Turtle trains them in the martial arts. The Sea Creatures

2.6

A great battle is fought with Captain Quokka’s team on the Good Ship, ‘Courage’, defeating Bluebeard’s Pie-Rats on the ‘Black Albatross’. We see Captain Quokka defeating his inner demons as he resists the attractions of the Dark Side offered by Bluebeard.

Reconciliation with marriages (Marilda and Jan; Bluebeard and Clarissa etc. ) sealing the comic conclusion.

2.8

The Artist, in love with the light on the Island, decides to stop painting portraits and anticipates Gaugin’s escape from the rigours of the European Art Scene

Seagull frames the action with her concluding lines.

Back to... Week Five - Week Six

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Script and Music - Act One     Script and Music - Act Two     Photo Gallery     Production Wrap-up     Cast and Crew Party

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This page last updated: 16th January 2006