Children's Theatre: Script and Music

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...or go back to... Script and Music - Act One

 

Act 2

 

2.1  [12: INTRODUCTORY MUSIC MARKING THE COMMENCE­MENT OF ACT II]

 

SFX Wave-scape to introduce Act 2. Sharkbait play the opening theme/Sol’s theme as the house lights (LFX) dim and Sol is seen perched on the ladder and lit (LFX) Sound-scape once again (SFX grows fainter but is still heard behind her speech.)

 

Sol:         (‘Shell’ phone to her ear) Squawk! What do you mean you can’t put me through? All our oceans are busy!? I don’t believe this! (Annoyed). No, wait! Don’t put me on hold! (To the audience) If I have to listen to another second of whale-song while I wait for them to get back to me -  (She closes it and puts it away.) Just typical of this backstage crew! I’ll bet they’re all still having tea and scoffing cakes and don’t realize that: ‘INTERVAL IS OVER’ (spoken towards the Stage Manager’s position) and the show must go on! Look here comes the Harlequin Fish with her little friend, Sequin. They must be on their way to Octavia’s Grotto.

 

Puppeteers fly brightly coloured fish across the apron, exiting SL and SR after the crossover

 

Harlequin:              Don’t dawdle, Sequin (she’s again peeping round the coral flat and retreating) there’s no time to lose. And Theresa, who usually thinks of everything, has forgotten something VERY important!

 

Theresa:                 (Entering through the auditorium) Forgotten, something, have? How can this be? (To the audience as she walks past them.) A turtle NEVER forgets!(She holds a starfish aloft) Perhaps you mean this – the magic starfish? (SFX star-dust/magic)

 

Harlequin:              (Smiling, relieved) I should never have doubted you, Theresa. Of course you remembered!

 

Theresa:                 Without magic, the land creatures – Captain Quokka and his visitors – will not survive the trip to Octavia’s Grotto. It’s a very dangerous journey for us all – but especially for them.

 

Don GioManta:     Dey betta watch out for da sharks!

 

Corlione the Claw:                And da sting rays. Hoo boy dey can hurt ya.

 

Bugs Abalone:                     (Intensely, recalling the experience) Yeah! I was stung by a box jellyfish once and it was nearly the end of me.

 

Al CaPrawn:          And then there’s the Sea-Weed Forest to swim through, where anything can happen – you’ll need to guide them all very carefully, Theresa …

 

Theresa:   Guide them I will – very carefully. But we can’t do this alone, can we Harlequin?

 

Harlequin:              (Shaking her head) No, indeed we can’t, Theresa!

 

Theresa:                 (Turns to face the audience) We’ll need your help!

 

Corlione the Claw:                (In utter disbelief) You want them to help you!?

 

Al Caprawn et al:  (Together, indicating the audience. Also in disbelief) No chance! No way, man. Dey won’t do it!

 

Harlequin:              (Indignantly) Don’t be so certain. Anyway, we only really need ONE of them.

 

Theresa:                 That’s true, Harlequin. But the more of them who join in, the safer it’ll be for our land creatures.

 

Corlione:                You don’t stand a chance. (The others mutter into their instruments, “No way”, “Forget it”, “Not this lot”.)

 

Theresa:                 We’ll see, then. (To the children, with Harlequin and Sequin on either side of her, supporting her). Does anybody here believe in magic?

 

(Hopefully there’ll be a positive response – it’s up to the performers to orchestrate this next bit, and if all else fails, Sol the Seagull can be dragooned into ‘believing’. She should, in any case, participate in the scene, encouraging the audience to the appropriate outcome.)

 

Theresa:                 That’s absolutely wonderful! Isn’t it Harlequin? Look how happy Sequin is. (Sequin should now respond to the children more directly and without fear, perhaps holding the hands of one of the smaller children.) What this means is that the starfish can weave her magic (we couldn’t do this if you didn’t believe in magic) –

 

Sol:         (Squawk) That’s right, we need children to believe in magic if the story is to continue!

 

Theresa:                 - and all the land creatures can dive safely beneath the waves, down through the Sea-Weed Forest, past the coral reefs, to Octavia’s grotto.

 

She waves the starfish through the air and, after a freeze during the scene on the balcony,  begins a chant.

 

2.1.1

 

Sneer and Smart appear on the balcony, telescopes to their eyes. They’re on the ‘Look Out’ for their Master and become interested observers of the events that follow.

 

A bit of business with the telescope – they see each other (enlarged); they shriek, settle down and carry on looking at what’s going on.

 

Sneer:                     (Peering at the stage). What have we here, then, Mr Smart?

 

Smart:                     (Peering with equal enthusiasm). I’m not sure, Mr Sneer, but  it’s probably important. Keep a close eye on them – we might have to report this to (Music Cue) Captain Bluebeard!

 

Sneer:                     That we might!

 

Smart:                     And, Mr Sneer, this information may be the undoing of that whining, ingratiating, bag of wind, Mr Smee.

 

Sneer:                     Indeed, Mr Smart, that Smee has wormed his way into our Master’s good graces. (Mimicking him) “Yes, Captain Bluebeard, Sir”, “No, Captain Bluebeard, Sir”. Arrgh. It’s quite sickening to behold (pretends to vomit, theatrically).

Smart:                     It’s enough to turn a pirate’s stomach, it is! Arrgh.

 

Sneer:                     Quiet, Smart – let’s hear what the Turtle is saying. Something’s up, I tell ya!

 

Smart:                     (Subsiding) Arrgh. It certainly is!                   

 

[13: SCENE – STARFISH, STARFISH, FROM THE SEA]

 

Theresa:                 (Engaging the children. She holds the starfish above her head like an offering to the gods.) Now, children, for us to make this work, and keep the land creatures from drowning as they make their way to Octavia’s grotto, you need to say after me – (she speaks one line at a time so that the children can say it with her:

 

                                                “Starfish, starfish from the sea

                                                Pour your magic over me!”

                                               

That’s excellent, children! Thank you. Come, on, Captain Quokka, Katzenellenbogen, Jan and Marilda; come one, come all! I’m giving you the ‘all clear’! Starfish magic – and these children – will protect you on your journey to Octavia’s grotto, under the sea!

 

SFX Magic Dust. The band plays a theme that marks their entry.

 

Harlequin:              Here they come! (Sequin bolts back to hide behind Harlequin and peep out as the Creatures descend on the apron.)

 

Priscilla and Prunella Penguin enter through the auditorium SL, Captain Quokka, Dugong, Colonel Cucumber and Miss Severity enter through the auditorium SR. They are followed by the Dutch, including Van Dyk, whose canvas now depicts a very rudimentary set of waves. The crabs enter ‘severally’ from SL and SR. Everyone should now be wearing swimming gear of the sort used to bathe in during the 19th Century. The Penguins need to reflect a more youthful quality – perhaps in their caps? But everyone (except the Crustacean Chorus and Theresa, Harlequin and Sequin) should look ready for a swim. Each will pass under the Starfish and when necessary, SFX magic will sound to indicate the power of belief that will keep the land creatures safe. Once they’re all on stage, the next exchange begins.

 

Colonel Cucumber:              Marvelous! What! Come along then. Let’s head for Octavia’s grotto and hear what she has to tell us about seeing off these villains.

 

On the balcony, Smart and Sneer react.

 

Smart:                                     Arrgh. That’s us, for sure!

 

Sneer:                                     It is, I’ll warrant ya. Arrgh!

 

Captain Quokka:   Lead the way, my First Mate! Down to the depths we go.

 

Miss Severity:                      (Looking at the children as they all head off) Who would have thought that young humans today still believe in magic!

 

Dugong:                                Like you, Madam, I’m amazed. Absolutely amazed!

 

They exit SL after the others.

 

As the others follow and exit SL they speak the following lines:

Priscilla:                 Ooh. I’m scared!

 

Prunella: Me too!

 

Together:               (Turning to each other.) This is so-o-o- not cool!

 

They waddle off SL

 

Calypso:                                (Anxiously) I hate the Sea-Weed Forest.

 

Chorus:                  (Together) It’s so scary!

 

Chloe:                     Just remember to keep your claws clear.

 

Caprice:                  And your feelers free!

 

Cordelia:                And watch out for sh- sh-

 

Chorus:                  Shshshshs! Don’t mention ‘SHARKS!’

 

They leave, following the others, SL               

 

Katzenellenbogen:   I hope this “magic’works. I hate getting my fur wet.

 

Van Dyk:                (Confidingly) About your painting, Mijn Heer. I’m using watercolours, so it’s not going to be a problem, really.

 

Katzenellenbogen looks at him briefly, but he’s beneath his master’s notice, so simply ignores him.

 

Marilda:                 Oh Jan!

 

Jan:                         I’ll be with you, Marilda!

 

Katzenellenbogen:               Stop this lovey-dovey nonsense. We’re not out of trouble yet! I must find my bullion – without it, I face ruin!               

 

They all follow the lead of Theresa Turtle and Harlequin off stage (SL). The Starfish is placed DSR near the coral flat and remains there during the entire underwater scene.

 

Sol:                         I hope the magic works for me, too! NOTHING would keep me from following them all to Octavia’s grotto. This is soo exciting. Squawk!!

 

She climbs down the ladder and follows them off stage, with a salute to the Band. SL.

 

On the balcony, Smart and Smee react.

 

Smart:                     Bluebeard must hear of this, Mr Sneer. Arrgh.

 

Sneer:                     That he must, Mr Smart. Arrgh. And we’re the very ones to tell him. We’ll show that Smee! (Mimicking Smee’s abject sucking up to Bluebeard) “Anything you please, Sir, whatever you want, Sir”. Let’s show him!

 

Smart:                     Arrgh. To ‘The Black Albatross’. Follow me.

 

They exit excitedly and the lights on them and on the apron dim.

2.2

 

Musical theme from the finale, Act 1 segues into the build up to the revelation of Octavia’s realm. SFX eerie underwater sounds, bubbles, whale song, dolphin clicks etc. Dry ice should pour out from beneath the blacks in the build up to the curtain flying. LFX Coral, grotto: blues, greens creating a frightening effect. A Mermaid is seen SC on the rostrum, combing her long golden hair and quietly observing Octavia. She is present throughout this scene and functions as a ‘lady in waiting’, Octavia’s servant. The Puppeteers fly their fish across the stage, adding to the effect. The curtain flies to reveal Octavia, CS.

 

Octavia:           

I’ve lived my life in seclusion, here, far from commotion.

Keeping wide berth of intrusion, here, deep in the ocean.

It helps me to focus my vision on things still unseen and unsaid…

Yes, sir, I’m in the position to forecast what’s lying ahead!

 

I’ve lived my life in the stillness of these silent waters,

Sheltered from gossip and illness, in my Octavian quarters.

But lately I’ve been inundated with company, living and dead!

Piratically escapaded is my precious, polluted seabed… It’s

 

Tarnished and tainted with burnished and painted things,

Diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

An octopian mystic turned downright ballistic by diamonds & emeralds and pearls!

For Cod’s sake! Jewels and signet rings! God’s hake!

Sparkly and shiny things! Frog’s legs! I have no need for them,

Take ‘em back up to the surface and keep me from

Tarnished and tainted and varnished and painted things,

Diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

I’m a tentacled prophet who says, “Now come off it!”

To diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

Come on! Nuggets and tiaras, it’s bore-dom! Bullion’s inferior to

Sal-mon! I have no need for them take ‘em all out!

Rainbow trout! And just leave me alone!

 

Now, am I a good witch or bad witch? Gad, which disposition?

I might be good, might be evil. Free will, your decision!

So I hate intruders, well shoot me! And yet I’m out giving advice!

If I could be ruder, I would be! Am I nasty? Am I nice? Arrgh, I’m surrounded by

 

Tarnished and tainted and furnished and painted things,

Diamonds and emeralds & pearls! An 8-legged magic-gal turned tot’lly tragic, well,

Diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

Spurn her treasures and bling-blings! Return her back to their ships,

Tuna Turner! I have no need for them,

Take ‘em back up to the surface and keep me from

Tarnished and tainted and varnished and hated things,

Diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

I’m a tentacled seer who says, “Bye-bye! See ya!”

To diamonds & emeralds & pearls!

               Should a poor blue-ringed octopus put up with stones, jades and gems?

Barracuda! I have no need for them!

Take what you like, giant pike, and just leave me alone!

Go on then, leave me alone!

SFX clanking of chains, crunch of wood on sand/shell. LFX Shadow (of the boat) across the stage.

 

Octavia:                 What was that?! Not another ship anchoring on the coral! (She has a moment of telepathic foresight before responding). It’s that Buccaneer, Bluebeard, and the crew of the ‘Black Albatross’, no doubt! (To the Mermaid) Have these fools no idea of the damage they do? There goes a whole segment of the reef! If they’re not shattering the coral with their metal anchors, their ships are crashing to the sea-bed. At least then (she laughs in an evil tone) the sailors plunge to a watery grave and I have my revenge on ALL of those ignorant land creatures.

 

As she speaks she moves unpredictably, her tentacles (suggested by fabric fronds rather than any lengths of tubular material) swirling around her. She should be capable of rapid movement and intense stillness. The character requires physical and vocal control to be fully effective. The Mermaid is silent, but reacts to Octavia when she’s addressed. She provides assistance when required.

 

Octavia:                 I’ve finally got through to that bird-brained Harlequin fish (she’d try the patience of a salmon) so I imagine they’ll be here any moment now. It’s seldom I have to summon my subjects to me, but enough is enough, and if that gross pirate Bluebeard starts looking for his treasure chest around here, my peace and quiet will be utterly destroyed. (Looks around quickly) I know, I’ll pretend I’m not here and hide behind those rocks. I LOVE making an entrance – (strikes a dramatic pose) – and that’s one thing I can do down here! I’ll sur-prise them all! Now let me see, where shall I hide? Come here, girl, don’t let them find us!

 

She darts back and forth a few times then hides behind the coral flat DSR. She places her finger on her lips, telling the Mermaid, the Band and the audience to be still. The Mermaid hides too.

 

Music theme for entry of the creatures, led by Theresa and Harlequin, who has Sequin by her side. They call out to each other from different parts of the stage and enter in their groups, warily looking about them. Dugong is in her element (literally) and Ms Severity has the Crabs in tow (their anxiety keeps them in a row – side-on – behind her), while Captain Quokka, Col. Cucumber and Katzenellenbogen form a central group. The two land creatures may be experimenting with their breathing and from time to time could comment on their capacity to breathe under water. “Astounding”; “Astonishing”; “Quite incredible”; “In – out, in – out.” “Extraordinary” etc. Prunella and Priscilla are energetically engaged in checking out the seascape, carefully examining objects they find on the sea bed a shell, perhaps, a rope of pearls, sea-weed etc.) They align themselves with Theresa and Harlequin who are the clear leaders of this expedition. Jan and Marilda keep slightly apart from the others, but are focused on the action throughout this scene, rather than on their reunion.

 

Desiree Dugong:                  (Turning from an examination of the coral.) And where, may I ask is she? How typical of Octavia! Her manners leave a great deal to be desired, I feel. I met her once, you know, never took to her, really. A bit of a performer to my mind!

 

Ms Severity:  I am amazed, quite frankly - after all our efforts to get here- to find that she’s nowhere to be seen! (To the crabs) Girls, scuttle off, now and see if you can spot her. She must be here somewhere.

 

The Crustacean Chorus scurries off, and synchronise an action that has them bury their heads beneath a claw.        

 

Desiree Dugong:                  I say, Captain Quokka, do you think your First Mate (she gestures with her parasol – does it match her bathing suit, perhaps?) might have got the location wrong?

Captain Quokka:      No chance of that, my dear. Theresa is the wisest creature I know –

 

Priscilla:                 (Rushing up in support) And she’d never have brought us here if there was any doubt, would she, Colonel Cucumber?

 

Colonel Cucumber:              Not a chance, young Priscilla. Not a chance!

 

Prunella: (Earnestly to Dugong) She was awesome! The way she guided us through the Sea-Weed Forest –

 

Crustaceans:         (Shrieking, and peeping out from beneath their claws at the recollect­ion) Oooh! The Sea Weed Forest!

 

They need to synchronise their actions, punctuating the exchange with their lines.           

 

Ms Severity:         (Trying valiantly to control them.) Girls!

 

Priscilla:                 - and past that cave where the Sharks hang out!

 

Crustaceans:         Oooh! The cave where the SHARKS hang out! (They duck back down)

 

Ms Severity:         Now girls!

 

Prunella: Till we reached this (shivers in excitement) freaky place.

 

Priscilla:                 It’s awesome!

 

Ms Severity:         (Ever the pedagogue) Try for a little variety in your adjectives, girl. I’m certain it wasn’t a religious experience! I know it wasn’t for me!

 

Colonel Cucumber:    There’s no need to be quite so harsh on ‘em, Madam. They’re helpful little things, full of spirit, ready for any adventure. I’m sure she doesn’t mean it, m’dears. Now back to the look out! That’s the ticket!

 

The Penguins waddle off, slightly crestfallen, to where Theresa and Harlequin are standing, looking back into the ‘depths’ of the ocean.

 

Katzenellenbogen:     The place does seem rather deserted, though. No sign of life! (Breathing in and out, testing the ‘magic’) And no sign of my treasure, either. This can’t be where the Duyfken sank! What have you to say, now, Jan Pierawiet?!    

 

Jan:         It’s difficult to tell from this angle, but I marked it by that bit of coral (gestures to the backcloth). I’m sure this is precisely where the bullion landed. Though I can’t see it anywhere!

 

Katzenellenbogen:   I hope you’re not wasting my time!  You’ll be sorry if you are.

 

Marilda:       Please Father, be patient. Look – Theresa has seen something. What is it, Theresa?

 

[15: HER INKY MAJESTY GRANTS US HER PRESENCE]

 

SFX, Music Cue, LFX create a build up that precedes Octavia’s entry.

 

Theresa:    (Steps forward on the rostrum, CS). The Sea Witch approaches.

 

Harlequin:              (Anxiously but in a gradually more potent introduction) Everyone bow down low before her – the mightiest of the Sea Creatures, whose magic gives her the power over LIFE …. And – DEATH!            

 

Theresa:     Her inky Majesty, the Blue-Ringed Octopus, Octavia, grants us her presence.

 

Crustaceans:         (Briefly dropping their claws from their faces and peering out. In a loud stage whisper.) Did she say ‘presents’? Are we getting ‘presents’? We love presents! Is it somebody’s birthday?

 

Ms Severity:         (In annoyance – interrupting them) Silence, girls. Not another word!     

 

Theresa:                 I give you – Octavia. (She gestures to where Octavia will enter.)

 

Octavia should appear in more regalia (a crown, a dramatically furled cloak, carrying a sea-shell scepter– anything to make her both regal and threatening).She is followed by the Mermaid, who holds her train. Audible gasps from the assembled creatures. Big musical moment; with orchestrated SFX and LFX to layer the scene. More dry ice to add mystique. (Perhaps a moment of shocked recognition between the Mermaid and the Dugong, who has always fancied herself the beauty of the seas.)

 

Octavia:                 (She’s on good terms with Theresa but quite contemptuous of the others.) (Aside to the audience) I told you I liked making an entrance.

 

Dugong:                                (Drily) Yes, I recall. (To Captain Quokka) Never could resist a moment in the Spotlight!

 

Theresa:                 We’ve come in answer to your summons, oh powerful one!

 

Captain Quokka:                   (Stepping forward, to flatter her a little.) And to seek your help. Theresa the Turtle, my faithful First Mate, has told us of your wisdom.

 

Octavia:                                 (Melting a little, but shifting gears as she speaks – at times pleasant, at other times nasty). Has she now? She was always the most intelligent of my apprentices. And what are you staring at? (She swirls around, briefly, noticing the Crustaceans who shriek and dive back down with their faces behind their claws.)

 

Miss Severity:      (Jumps protectively to their defence, her own claws spread in from of them.) Be still, girls. Not another move from you.

 

Octavia:                 (Ignoring them and standing CS again, addressing Captain Quokka) Speak, then, do you know why you’ve been summoned to my Grotto?

 

Captain Quokka:   There is danger on the waves –

 

Octavia:                 There always is!

 

Captain Quokka:                   But in this case we know it’s close and that we have to defeat – somehow – that most villainous of all creatures –

 

ALL:                       (Loudly, intensely) Bluebeard the Pie-Rat!

 

Theresa:                 (Pointing out the obvious) And his devilish crew.

 

Octavia:                 Buccaneer Bluebeard, eh? (She swirls around, then listens intently as they go on, not giving away a thing)

Dugong:                        I’ve made his acquaintance. A nasty piece of work!

 

Katzenellenbogen:         He sank my Duyfken in blood so cold

                                    And now he seeks the gold that’s in its hold.

 

Marilda:                        He cast my precious Jan adrift, and left him for dead!

 

Jan:                         But, if he knows I’m alive, he’ll seek me out to finish off the job –

 

Marilda:                                 Oh Jan!

 

Jan:                                         - because I know where the Duyfken went down!

 

Katzenellenbogen:               And if the Mouse is murdered, I’ll never find my bullion. And all will be ruined! (He gestures dramatically, and is comforted by Marilda)

 

Van Dyk:                                Ja, ja, Mijn Heer. Hold it like that – that’s just what I’m after!

 

Van Dyk will have been sketching vigorously and tearing up his sketch paper from time to time as he tries to depict the scene for posterity. Ms Severity should close in as an informed observer, and Sol the Seagull could peer over, too.

 

Octavia:                                 (Stunned by this turn of events!) How very odd!

 

Theresa:                                 (Trying to regain control) But, back to the matter at hand! Oh Wise One!

 

Captain Quokka:                   We seek your advice in the face of a common threat! What shall we do with Bluebeard coming this way!

 

Crustaceans:                         It’s too dreadful!

 

Chloe:                                     We’ll be Crab Pate, I know we will!

 

Ms Severity:                         Now girls, don’t work yourselves up!

 

Cordelia:                                Crab Chowder, we’ll be SOUP!

 

Ms Severity:                         Of course you won’t be!

 

Caprice:                                  Or a …a Crab Souffle!

 

Ms Severity:                         (Drily) They’re not that inventive!

 

Calypso:                                                If those Pie-Rats get here, we’ll be crusty CRAB pies!

 

Ms Severity:                         (Musing) Now that is a possibility!

 

Colonel Cucumber:              Not if we can help it, Madam! We are here for advice. Let us hear the Wise One’s words.

 

He bows before Octavia, who is suitably impressed. She steps down, takes his hand in her tentacle and then dramatically gestures for quiet! The Mermaid settles her cloak/train, remaining attentive.

 

Octavia:                                 Peace, I have heard enough! Now it is my turn to speak!

These Pie-Rats are the scourge of the Seven Seas!

 

Captain Quokka:                   (Aside) Yet how exciting their lives are!

 

Octavia:                                 They pillage and they plunder –

 

Katzenellenbogen:               They do! They do! They pillaged my poor Duyfken and they left it for dead! (sobs)

 

Octavia:                                 As I was saying – (she gives them a look to bring them back to order) – they pillage and they plunder and pollute the seabed!

 

Captain Quokka:                   (Aside) But how they LIVE – the passion! It was my life, once!

 

Octavia:                 And they devastate the habitat of those in my dominions!

 

Theresa:        (With a hand on Quokka’s shoulder to steady him. She alone is aware of the choices his weighing up) They must be stopped! This you know, Master.

 

Captain Quokka:                   (Pulling himself together) Of course I do, Theresa. But there are times when it’s hard to resist the siren call on the tide.

 

SFX Roistering sound of the pirates/the tavern/voices raised in song/the clash of swords.

 

Theresa:                 That was a long time ago, now, Master. Remember your promise!            

 

Sol: (To the audience)

                What’s this? Our hero, Captain Q being questioned on his trust?

            Could he be a marsupial with, perhaps, a murky past?

 

Octavia:   (Observing his conflict. Laughing in mockery!) Ah, Captain Quokka.

You can feel his tendrils pulling at you, sucking you back

To another time and place! Can you resist the attack?

(She swirls round him, taunting him, nudging him with her tentacles)

 

Colonel Cucumber:   I say, give the chap a chance, your Majesty! He’s one of us now!

 

Octavia:    (Laughing cruelly) But only just! Well, look at him – he’s torn in two! Look at his face – there’s ‘temptation’ written all upon it! If I wasn’t so deter­mined to rid myself and my underwater world of Bluebeard and his hideous crew, I’d ENJOY this moment! (She switches from laughter and mockery to vicious intensity) But Bluebeard must be banished and order restored once more to my treasured realm.

 

Jan:         I’m afraid, your Majesty, he’ll stop at nothing! I know what he’s capable of!

 

Octavia:   (Swirls round and addresses Jan) And you think I have no idea, young Mouse? (She glares at him malevolently as Marilda clutches his arm).

 

Jan:         No, of course not! Oh mighty Sea Witch.

 

Dugong:                  (Taking the bull by the horns). I think it’s established that Bluebeard is to be challenged – but our question is how?

 

Ms Severity:         We’ve answered your summons and – at great risk to the land creatures who have had to rely on magic (she acknowledges the audience) -  thank you children – to stay alive, we’ve braved the elements –

 

Crustaceans:                                         The Sea Weed forest! (They shudder)

 

Priscilla and Prunella:          And the cave where the sh- sh- sh- SHARKS hang out!

 

Marilda:   (With youthful earnestness) Yes, we’ve come all this way! 

            We’ve been worried, and frightened, and – BRAVE!

            We’d rather do all that we can do defeat them

            Than turn into nouvelle cuisine in the galley of the Black Albatross!

Dugong:                                                Well spoken, Marilda! You’re a real brick!

 

Captain Quokka:                   Out of the mouths of kittens! Fair words, Marilda.

 

Jan:                                         (Delighted at her bravery) My soulmate!

 

Katzenellenbogen:               Don’t start that lovey-dovey stuff again, please! (To Octavia) I lost everything I owned when my ship went down and now Bluebeard is coming for my gold! I must get to it first! But how?

 

Octavia:                 (Resigning herself to a more prosaic activity) Oh very well, if you must know, you have been chosen(The Mermaid nods affirmatively)

 

All:                                          (In disbelief) Chosen?

 

Captain Quokka:                   Please tell us more, your Majesty.

 

Octavia:                                 (Raising her voice, and lifting her scepter) Yes, CHOSEN to fight an elemental battle; a battle between GOOD – (She looks down at them from her full height) – that’s you lot! And EVIL

 

All:            (With a flash of recognition) That’s Bluebeard the Pie-Rat!     

 

Octavia:     (With some irony) They’re sharp, they’re really sharp! And to defeat the Forces of Evil, you will need to train – to train as you never imagined you would.

 

Priscilla:                 (Enthusiastically) Just tell me what to do –

 

Prunella: - and me, too!

 

Captain Quokka:                   This will never work, oh Wise One! I know Bluebeard and a better swordsman doesn’t exist in the Southern hemisphere.

 

Octavia:                 Who mentioned swords? My plan is more cunning than that – (she turns towards Theresa who has her back to the audience) – meet your trainer, Theresa, the Ninja Turtle!

 

Theresa, assisted by the Mermaid, places the relevant band round her head, a belt over her tunic and steps into the spotlight. She adopts, once more, the Karate Kid Pose. Harlequin and Sequin clap in approval. Music, SFX and LFX signal a new state.

 

All:                                                          Gasp!

 

Col. Cucumber:       (Chuckling) East meets West – oh this is devilishly cunning! What!

 

Captain Quokka:     (Filled with admiration) My first mate, I had no idea …

 

Everyone gathers to admire their teacher’s prowess. Octavia closes the scene.

 

Octavia:    There is very little time – Bluebeard is already anchored above us. Watch, listen, obey – your Master has much to teach you.

 

Theresa:                 Follow me (She performs some of her moves, which they all attempt to imitate her) Ours is an elemental battle!

 

Quokka:                 (Aside) A battle I must not lose!

 

Octavia:                 The training begins. (Her voice reaching a crescendo)

Creatures of the land and sea – confront, defeat the enemy!

 

Music cue anticipating the sounds of martial arts training/battle scene?

 

Van Dyk quietly shows his ‘watercolour’ to Seagull, pointing out the fact that it’s a ‘group’ painting and not a portrait. Seagull then heads for her ladder as the characters all maintain their rudimentary movements The curtain falls.               LFX to black.     

 

2.3

 

LFX on apron as the puppeteers enter. Seagulls are flown by the puppeteers across the apron. SFX seashore: gulls, waves birdcalls etc. Music cue for the entry of Clarissa and Nell, SR. They’re dressed as young boys in pantaloons and poet/pirate shirts, with scarves around their heads. Nell carries a large sailor’s sack over her shoulder.

 

Sol:      (From her perch)(Squawk) Look who’s here! Clarissa and Nell have disguised themselves and signed on as cabin boys for this voyage on the ‘Black Albatross’. Let’s hear what they’re saying.

[16: WOMEN WE ARE, IN CLOTHES OF UTTER LOATHING]

 

Clarissa:                 (Quoting from Twelfth Night) ‘What country, friend, is this?’

 

Nell:                        Oh, please don’t start that, Mistress. You know very well that this is Rottnest Island!

 

Clarissa:                 Ah, but Nell, remember the days when I held an audience in the palm of my hand? Was there ever such a Viola? Such an Ophelia? Such a Lady Macbeth?  

 

The playhouse panorama! I’m enamoured of the glamour and the drama!

The works of Shakespeare: my stunning Viola! I still remember her.

She dressed up as a man so she could serve the Duke Orsino of Illyria…

If you could see her! But that’s another tale altogether!

     

Look, here we are today, in clothes of utter loathing!

It’s risky, we confess! And perilous, oh yes, but in it lies the fun! 

Yea, here we are indeed, we lambs in wolfish clothing!

The cunning parts we play more underhanded, aye, of all we’ve ever done!

 

Nell:                                        If Bluebeard finds out that his cabin boys are none other than yourself, Mistress Clarissa, and myself, your servant, Nell –

 

Clarissa:                 He’d have us walk the plank, I believe! Women on the ‘Black Albatross’! What an outrage!

 

Nell:                        He’d be angry, but he’d get over it! (A little anxiously) Wouldn’t he?

 

Clarissa:                 (Laughing) Afraid of a keelhauling for our deception, Nell? Never fear. He doesn’t suspect a thing! (Earnestly) Oh, Nell! I’m at my wits’ end with him.  I just want him to notice me! There must be something I can do to get his attention!

 

Back in the good old days, I’d only have to blink and men would stare forever!

My first Ophelia (she had dementia!) I still remember her.

Her song of sadness, ditty of insanity drew tears of admiration!

Appreciation and wild ovation! But that’s all over…

 

Now here we are today (Nell may echo) – we girls in young men’s outfits!

It’s scary, yes, it’s true, and a little scratchy too, men’s clothing are low-grade!

Still, here we are indeed – all masculine and stout, it’s

Really quite a fraud, but as long as we’re on board,

Well, then we’ve got it made!

 

Nell:        Well, he’ll need all the help he can get to recover the gold bullion that went down with the Duyfken. Now’s your chance to show him what you can do!

 

Clarissa:                 You’re right. There’s no point in moping around here. We’d better get back to the ‘Black Albatross’ with these provisions. Bluebeard the Pie-Rat has called a meeting to discuss his plan of action!

 

Nell:          We’d better not waste anymore time, then, Mistress … onward, to the ‘Black Albatross’ (Aside, to the audience) And the nastiest Captain and Crew I’ve ever met!

 

Clarissa:    Don’t forget our extremely cunning disguises (They each place an eye-patch over one eye) Bluebeard must not know who his cabin boys really are!

 

They exit, SL, giggling conspiratorially and give Sol a chip as they pass her perch.

 

Sol:         (Munching the chip) I really like Clarissa and Nell. (To the audience) Don’t you? I wonder what will happen next?

 

The next scene reveals the Pie-Rats on board the ‘Black Albatross’. It’s introduced by a music cue, which plays as the black curtain is raised. We discover Bluebeard, his hench­man, Smee, Smart and Sneer busy on the deck. The sail (which should be dramatic in the extreme) should be flown in attached to a mast with lots of rigging. This scene will establish the Pie-Rats in full ‘flight’; at home in their ship on the sea, ready for action.                                    

2.4 [17: TIS WHERE THAT WRETCHED WRECK SANK TO THE FLOOR / SCENE – TIE TO THE MASTS ALL OF THEM]

 

Pie-Rats, Nell, Clarissa:

Ahoy mates, all hands on deck! Tis where that wretched wreck

Duyfken, sank to the floor!   

T’was quite a battle, they shivered and rattled and left us a-wanting more!

Avast ye, it took a while, but we have reached the isle, West End of Rottnest, hoay!

Shiver me timbers, no room for beginners today!

 

(Sol may join in, to provide irony):

Yo, ho, ho ho! We’ll get what’s coming! Yo, we’ll get what’s coming!

Ho, picaroons! We’ll get what’s coming! All that we deserve!

 

As Bluebeard and Smee walk CS looking at the map the others dash about, undertaking various chores. The puppeteers fly the Seagulls over the stage exiting USL and USR after the (usual) crossover. Clarissa is mending a rope; Nell is busy with the diving helmet – polishing it? They are wearing eye-patches as a means of ‘disguise’(!)

 

SFX Seagulls, water lapping. LFX Night.

 

Bluebeard:             Arrgh. Here we are, then, my fellow Pie-Rats, anchored at the very spot, off the West End of Rottnest Island, where the Duyfken went to the bottom of the ocean!  Ha! Ha! Ha! (Laughs cruelly at the memory).

 

Smee:        (Pointing to the ‘X’ on his map). Arrgh. That’s right, Master Bluebeard. This is the very spot!

 

Bluebeard:             Arrgh. (Reminiscing) What a battle that was!

 

Smart:                     Yes, a memorable battle, Master –

 

Sneer:                     Except for the small matter (coughs discreetly) of the loss of the treasure we were after!

 

Bluebeard:                             (Rounding on him furiously, with a swipe at his head. Sneer ducks away in time – he’s had lots of practice).  And whose fault was that I ask you!?

 

Sneer and Smart:  (Pointing accusingly at Smee) It was his!

 

Smee:                                      No it wasn’t, it was theirs! (Pointing at Sneer and Smart)

 

Sneer and Smart:                  Oh, no it wasn’t!

 

Smee:                                      Oh, yes it was!

 

Sneer and Smart:  (Getting into the rhythm of things) Oh no it wasn’t!

 

Smee:                                      Oh yes it –

 

Bluebeard:                             (Taking another, ineffectual swipe at Smee) QUIET! That’s enough of that! Was ever a Pie-Rat Captain more ill-used! Why am I at the mercy of the most worthless crew that ever set sail! Arrgh!

 

Smart:                                     (Indignantly) Well I never –

 

Sneer:                                     (Outraged) After all we’ve done for you, Master Bluebeard!

 

Smart:           Yeah. Think of all these years we’ve pillaged and plundered and polluted –

 

Sneer:                                     Yeah, pillaged and plundered and polluted –

 

Smart and Sneer:  That’s gratitude for ya! Arrgh. (They hunch their shoulders away from him, hurt by the accusation).

 

Smee:                                      (Aside) Now they’re in for it. Bluebeard won’t stand for this!

 

Bluebeard:                   (Impatiently) Arrgh That’s enough, all of you! Stop all this arguing! There’s no time for sulking. Just look at the way those two new recruits are working! Arrgh. They’ve got energy and enthusiasm and ability  – more than can be said for you lot! (He includes the three pie-rats in his gesture) Try, if you can, to imitate them!

 

 Smee is clearly disappointed that they aren’t getting into trouble. The others remain a little sulky as Clarissa and Nell speak.

 

Clarissa:                 (Holding up the rope she’s been working on. A change in her voice, perhaps?). There, Cap’n Bluebeard. I’ve fixed this rope for you. Are we ready

 

Nell:                                        (She brings forward the diving helmet she’s been working on with its tube trailing behind it.) I’ve fixed the bolts onto the helmet and the pipe’s clear! (Blows through it noisily)

 

Clarissa:                 That’s perfect! Well done, Nell – uh, Ned, I mean.

 

Bluebeard:            (Aside to the audience) Mmmn. They seem oddly familiar. And yet, I can’t recall where I’ve met these two young sailors before. Arrgh. (To the crew)Attention all Pie-Rats! AT-TEN-TION!

 

They straggle into an unwieldy line in front of him.

 

Smart:                                     (As First Mate he has his own command to give: blows a whistle) Eyes front! Captain Bluebeard has something to say!

 

Bluebeard:                             Crew of the ‘Black Albatross’! I need someone to undertake a dangerous mission!

 

They all look at each other sideways, apprehensively.

Bluebeard:                             I need a volunteer, someone heroic –

 

All (except Smee):               (Stepping back a large pace and leaving Smee out in front) Not me, for sure!

 

Bluebeard:                             Arrgh, Smee. You’re my man!

 

Smee:                                      But, but –

 

Bluebeard:                             (Over-riding him) I knew I could rely on you, my faithful Smee. (slaps his shoulder amicably, but forcefully)                

 

Smee:                                      But Master!

 

Bluebeard:                             Bring me the Diving Helmet.

 

Smee continues to protest through the next set of events as the helmet is placed on his head, the tube blown into by first Clarissa then Nell, with Sneer and Smart in on the act.

 

Bluebeard:                             Now over the side you go! And keep the map with you. If my calculations are correct (arrgh) and why wouldn’t they be? the treasure is right below the ‘Black Albatross’.

 

Sneer and Smart:  (Dancing a jig or a brief sailor’s hornpipe) We’ll be rich, we’ll be rich!

 

Clarissa:                 Right, tie the rope to him! And over he goes. (She and Nell aided by Smart and Sneer start to lever the unhappy Smee over the edge of the boat at the back of the stage.)

 

Smee:                                      (Shrieking) HE-E-ELP!!! MU-U-U-U-M!!!

 

At this point Marilda and Jan ‘surface’; that is they enter from DSR. Still in their swimming gear, Marilda is appalled at what she sees happening to Smee and she rushes over to the Pie-Rats with no thought for herself! Jan tries ineffectually to stop her. He draws his sword but of course will be no match for so MANY Pie-Rats!

 

Marilda:                 How dare you!? (She hisses at the rats and there could be quite a nice movement sequence with Marilda chasing the ‘rats’ before they overpower her.) Can’t you see he’s terrified? What are you trying to do?

 

The movement sequence should conclude with Marilda held tightly by Smart and Sneer, with Smee half-fainting and Nell waving a cloth over his face as he coughs and splutters. Clarissa looks on, weighing up her options. She does NOT approve of what Bluebeard is doing, but maintains her disguise for the moment!

 

Bluebeard:                             You brave, but very foolish kitten, arrgh! You’ll wish you’d never come NEAR Bluebeard and his villainous crew when we’ve finished with you! Tie her to the mast while I deal with this – (he recognizes Jan) YOU! It’s you! Returned from the dead?! I’ll have to deal with you properly this time! Draw your sword and fight like a Mouse! (He laughs cruelly again and they sword-fight briefly before Jan is forced to the edge of the ship)

 

Marilda:                 Jump, Jan, jump! And swim to the Grotto for help!

 

Sneer:                                     Mice don’t swim. This time he’s done for!

 

Smart:                                     (Imitating Marilda) Jump Jan – you’re doomed!

 

Clarissa:                 (As Jan dives into the water) Stop, don’t! You won’t survive!

 

Nell:                        (Forgetting herself) Swim, little Mouse, swim away!

 

Sneer and Smart:  (They spin round and look at Clarissa and Nell)

 

Sneer:                     (Circling them!) What have we here, Master Smart?

 

Smart:                     A mutineer, Master Sneer.

 

Sneer:                     What shall we do with them, Mr Smart?

 

Smart:                     (After a brief pause) Tie them to the mast! Tie them all to the mast!

 

The two of them tie and gag Marilda, Clarissa and Nell together (under protest, but rapidly) to the mast as Bluebeard watches malevolently. Smee is still trying to recover from his near-death experience.

 

Pie Rats:

Tie them all to the mast! Tie them all to the mast! Tie them all to the mast!

Tie them all to the mast! Tie them all to the mast! Tie them all to the mast!

Tie them all to the mast! Tie them all to the mast! Tie them all to the mast!

Tie them all, tie them all, tie them all, all to the mast!

 

Clarissa, Nell (simultaneously):

No, no, no, please! Show some compassion! No! We did not mean this!

No, no, no, please! You’ll get what’s coming! All that you deserve!

 

All Pie-Rats:    

Yo, ho, ho ho! We’ll get what’s coming! Yo, we’ll get what’s coming!

Well, blow me down! We’ll get what’s coming! All that we deserve!

 

Bluebeard:                             You’re my best mates after all (slapping Sneer and Smart on the back).(To the victims, tied to the mast) We’ll deal with you shortly, arrgh, but first we must get the treasure we’ve come for! We need to think of a plan. (To Smee) Arrgh. Pull yourself together, Man.

 

Smart                      (Nudging Sneer) We have an idea, Master Bluebeard.

 

Sneer:                     We’re not sure how it works, but that starfish, over there…!

 

He gestures to the magic starfish and they huddle together in a rugby scrum as Sneer and Smart tell Bluebeard what they witnessed. The tale is taken up by Sol who speaks over the girls’ smothered attempts to get free. Smee moans from time to time.

 

Sol:        

The Pie-Rats thus told Bluebeard of the things that they had seen & heard:

The power of the Starfish and the magic things that had occurred…

 

Bluebeard:        Go on!

 

Sol:       …For Captain Quokka and his crew to dive beneath the sea

            To the grotto of Octavia… without a diving helmet!

 

Bluebeard:             They never… arrgh!

 

Sol:

Smart & Sneer, for the life of them, could not remember the magic chant

(Because, I’m sure, as you’ve deduced, a clever Pie-Rat pair they aren’t)!

But Bluebeard knew that Captain Q would soon be on his way…

Bluebeard:        Arrr! Captain Quokka will soon be on his way!

 

Sol:                   In search of Jan and M’rilda, so –

 

Bluebeard:                             (Laughing evilly) Ha-ha-ha! They’ll have to give me their magic in exchange for my little hostage (Aside) She’ll never leave here alive! So that I can descend safely to the seabed and recover the lost gold.

 

Sneer:     We’ll be wealthy at last! Arrgh.

 

Smart:       Arrgh That we shall be. We can retire to an island in the Caribbean.

 

Bluebeard:             And I can settle down with that fine wench, Clarissa!

 

Clarissa:    (Her gag has slipped and she lets out a cry.) Can this possibly be true?                                                                                             

[MUSICAL SCENE – TRAINING YOU CREATURES MY ROLE IS HERE] The Black curtain flies in and we have a scene involving all the characters in training. It is a movement and music sequence only. The coral flat is set, the puppet­eers signal the underwater scene by flying the balloon fish over the apron and out through the auditorium. The characters appear on the apron, up the steps and on the balcony. Octavia should observe things from beside the coral flat.

                               

2.5

 

Under the sea

 

Theresa:                 (Speaking over the soundscape/the music ‘scape’ which should set the tone for the mystical quality of the training.)  There is no time to lose if we’re to do battle with Bluebeard. (She has a little quirk that makes her invert her lines from time to time, Yoda-like, remember?) Before dawn it must be!

 

Octavia:                 There is no time to lose.

 

After the training session, as the music fades, the animals adopt their Tai Chi (or other) poses. The lights dim leaving Captain Quokka CS in a spot.

 

[18: QUONFESSIONS OF A QUEERLY QUONFLICTED QUOK­KA]

 

Captain Quokka: It’s been so long, now - why do still I feel the call of that other life? (Struggling with his emotions). Arrgh. I must not give in! But it was a time of such passion! Such adventure!

 

Once upon a time I was led a life like Pie-Rat Bluebeard here,

I know the thrill and joy of being a buoyant buccaneer…

We’d lounge and leap from ship to ship to claim our right reward,

Swashbuckling with my mighty sword…! (swashbuckles…)

Cod, help me for I fear, I feel the tug of spite and smugness being a pirateer… (groans) That’s not really a word.

 

Upon our loyal ship, the rather hip and stalwart Albatross,

We’d look for buried treasure, we’d do anything at all

To add on to our lot, we’d plot where X’s mark the spot –

With fire and full finesse we fought – (swashbuckles some more)

Oh, help me for I’m caught

Here fraught with thoughts of treasure sought that ought to be forgot!

 

We had a trusty crew and we’d do it together –

Sail upon the seas to increase our wealth!

My shipmates, loud and cynical, would ride upon the pinnacle

While I looked on the binnacle to lead our way in stealth!

 

We’d creep upon our victim (and sometimes at random,

Whichever wretched vessel would be right on our route!)

We’d pillage, pinch and plunder and pollute as they went under

And, with them rent asunder, I’d be given the salute!

 

But then I turned around, and said I’m bound to lead a life of good;

My bandit days I threw away, I moved from dark to light…

Yet here I stand, conflicted; t’was predicted, I suppose,

That when I chose the choice I chose… (Sneezes)

(Gross, I have to blow my nose!) … As I was saying…

That when I made my choice, I found I have to stand my ground

And do what’s right!

 

Enter Jan, past the coral DSR. He is clearly immensely stressed.

 

Jan:         (He gasps out his information.) He’s here – Bluebeard and his villainous crew. They’ve captured Marilda. There’s no time to waste. We must save her!

 

Katzenellenbogen:  First my bullion, now my daughter! Where is this Monster?

 

Jan:                                         Follow me!

 

He turns and gestures to them all and they follow him out DSR moving quickly. Music cue.            

 

Sol:    (To the audience) A remarkable Mouse don’t you think? An escape artist extraordinaire! Quite the Houdini!

 

Octavia:                 (To Theresa) Ah, so the Battle begins.(To Captain Quokka) It is one you must win, my friend.

 

She swirls around them and exits USL past the Band, laughing her witch-like laugh. The Mermaid follows, perhaps now having teamed up with Sequin, and Harlequin.

 

Spot on Theresa and Quokka, who adopt their marshal arts position. The puppeteers fly past with the fish, exiting SL and SR.

 

Music theme to Blackout.

                                                               

2.6

 

SFX seascape again. The curtain flies to reveal the Pie-Rats who are waiting for the rescue party. Marilda is still tied to the mast but Clarissa and Nell are tied back to back on the ‘deck’, guarded by Sneer and Smart with cutlasses drawn.

 

Bluebeard:   (Pacing the decks with Smee, not quite so obsequiously following in his wake. He carries a telescope and peers over the side into the waters) What’s taking them so long! Arrgh. I was sure they’d be here by now! See anything, Smee?

 

Smee:        Nothing, Master, not a thing!

 

Smart:        Why wait, Master Bluebeard? Let’s make these mutineers walk the plank!

 

Sneer:     Arrgh. Yes, let’s. I love a good plank walking! Nothing cheers me up more!

 

Bluebeard:             Silence, fools! We must be on guard! We need to be prepared for battle – BUT we must find out the magic starfish chant before we send them to their watery graves. Ha! Ha! Ha! (laughs evilly).

 

Marilda:                 (Defiantly) You cannot win, Bluebeard. Captain Quokka and all his friends will defeat you! Good will always triumph over Evil!

 

Bluebeard:                             (Spinning round) But Ah, Marilda, Captain Quokka is the weak link in this goody-goody chain of yours! Just you wait and see.

 

Spotlight on Capt Quokka at the back of the auditorium. His first lines are taken from the back and then he moves swiftly down to the stage. He is followed onto the stage and onto the ship by his friends, all of whom carry swords, but wear ‘Ninja” headbands to denote their new found status as marshal arts experts. They cheer loudly as they descend.

 

Captain Quokka:   Who is it that calls Captain Quokka weak? Prepare for battle Blue­beard. Draw your sword!

 

Bluebeard does so and so do Smart, Sneer and Smee. Clarissa and Nell struggle to their feet in the meantime, untangle themselves and each grab a sword. They don’t immediately join in the fray on the side of Bluebeard.

 

Smart:     (Hesitating) as the creatures swarm onto the stage. Arrgh, Master Blue­beard, there are rather a LOT of them!

 

Sneer:                     A SURPRISING lot of them!

 

Smee:                      (Who’s lost it, in fact).I want my Mu-u-u-m!

 

Smart and Sneer aim (and miss) a clout at him. He ducks [19: SCENE – INGREDIENTS SERVED BEFORE A MIGHTY BATTLE]

 

Bluebeard:             (Dismissively) What pathetic foot soldiers you have, Quokka! Your forces are best served up as a seafood stew – (scoffing at him) Arrgh. Just look at these –

            I see a spread of fish-heads served in hot and spicy curry

            And I’m always in a hurry for a hot and spicy curry!

            I’d travel, arr, to near and far for just one jar of caviar        

            Or calamari with that curry, crab Mornay, hooray!

                       

            Ingredients! Ingredients! You’re nothing but ingredients!

            Some salmon roe’s delish, I know! Perhaps some turtle stew!

            Ingredients! Ingredients! As chef, I’ve had experience –

            Some grilled or charbroiled quokka, yea, I’d eat you too!

                                                                                                                                   

Pie-Rats dance, until the scene reverts to the original, leaving them frozen stupidly in mid-motion.

 

Katzenellenbogen:               (Catching sight of his daughter, tied to the mast) My daughter! She must be freed at once!

 

Jan:         Drawing his sword. We’re here to rescue you, Marilda. Never fear!

 

Marilda: Oh Jan!

 

Blue beard:            Silence!

Bluebeard places his sword against Marilda’s throat as the others look on in horror.

 

Smart:                     That’ll teach ‘em Master!

 

Sneer:                     You don’t mess with Bluebeard the Pie-Rat!

 

Bluebeard:             Tell me the magic starfish charm! I must get to the ocean floor –

 

Smee:                      Where the treasure lies!

 

Katzenellenbogen:               My treasure, you mean!

 

Col Cucumber:      (Taking a step forward) You confounded villain! Release that girl!

 

Dugong:                                (To anyone who will listen) I told you he was a nasty piece of work! You won’t get a thing out of me, you dreadful man!

 

Ms Severity:         That poor child!  We must rescue her immediately. Crustaceans, posit­ions, please! Penguins! Remember your moves!

 

The animals take up their positions. Captain Quokka addresses him!

 

Captain Quokka:   (Sneering slightly) The coward’s way, Bluebeard? I thought better of you! I claim the right, as a former Pie-Rat, to a duel with you – to the end! Beat me in a fair fight and you’ll have your charm – and the treasure.

 

Katzenellenbogen:               (Shocked) MY treasure, you mean!

 

Bluebeard:             En garde. (He takes up the sword fighter’s stance) It’s like old times, Quokka!

 

They sword-fight traditionally as everyone looks on. The battle goes first one way then another, but it looks as if Quokka will be defeated when Theresa calls out from the back of the auditorium.

 

Theresa:                 Time it is for ‘Good’ to triumph! Remember your training!

 

Ms Severity:         (Rallying them to the cause) “Crouching penguin, hidden dugong”

 

Music cue, SFX indicate the shift as the animals engage. They start their moves much to the astonishment of the Pie-Rats, who can’t get them to lock swords. Meanwhile, Jan, Clarissa and Nell release Marilda.

 

Quokka:                 Crustaceans! Advance!

 

The crabs position themselves with their claws up, raise their legs in unison and move off stage – completely –sideways.

 

Crustaceans:         (Struggling to remember their moves) Pincer movement, pincer movement – to the left!

 

Ms Severity:         Advance, Crustaceans, advance!

 

Crustaceans:         (Returning) Pincer movement, pincer movement – to the right!

 

They exit SR  followed by Ms Severity.

 

Ms Severity:         Advance, I say, girls, ADVANCE!

 

Dugong:                                How very odd of them!

 

She adopts a rather excessive pose, matched by Col. Cucumber’s mirror image of it and the two of them twirl off to the side, rapt in their own movement.

 

Priscilla and Prunella get caught up in their movement too and, mirroring each other’s moves, befuddle Smart and Sneer who, semi-hypnotised, start to mimic them. Smee, too tries to produce a Tai Chi movement, but fails. They all freeze.

 

[All this will be music cued so will need to be synchronized]

 

Katzenellenbogen and Van Dyk join Marilda and the others USC

 

When the ‘battle’ finishes (despite the loss of most of his troops) we find the tables turned with Bluebeard overpowered by the ‘crouching tiger, hidden dragon’ moves of Captain Quokka. Quokka will have adopted the Karate Kid pose over him.

 

Bluebeard:             Enough! Enough! Arrgh. I cannot bear any more! (He places an arm over his eyes)

 

Captain Quokka:   And so the Dark Side retreats! Thanks to my First Mate, Theresa, who taught us all so well.

 

Enter the Crustaceans, sideways, led by Ms Severity and followed by Desiree and Col Cucumber.  The Pie-Rats Sneer, Smee and Smart link up with the Penguins as Clarissa and Nell step forward.

 

Clarissa:                 (To Bluebeard) My disguise is no longer needed.

 

Bluebeard:             (Surprised, as she helps him up.) Clarissa, is it you?

 

Clarissa:                 Indeed it is, Bluebeard, and I’m here to continue the process begun by Captain Quokka this very day –

 

Nell:                        (To the assembled crew, confidentially) She plans to reform him!

 

Quokka:                 (To Bluebeard) It’s a quieter life, but a good one!

 

Sneer:                     No more pillaging and plundering!

 

Smart:                     No more polluting!

 

Smee:                      No more walking the plank!

 

Bluebeard:             No more keelhauling, Arrgh. (Slightly regretfully)

 

Clarissa:                 But we’ll be happy, Bluebeard, now that you’ve seen the error of your ways.

 

Katzenellenbogen:  Aren’t you forgetting something? There’s the little matter, I must remind you, of my lost treasure! Without it, I am ruined.

 

[20: FINALE – TOGETHER: JUST BEFORE WE SAY GOOD­BYE]

 

Priscilla:                 Oooh look! There’s Octavia!

 

Prunella: Whatever is she carrying – it looks very heavy.

 

Octavia enters SR carrying a chest filled with gold coins. She is assisted, as always, by the Mermaid who is now accompanied by both Sequin and Harlequin.

 

Octavia:      (To Katzenellenbogen) Here it is, then. The treasure you’ve all been searching for! Much good may it do you! Now I hope you’ll leave me in peace?!

 

Theresa:                 Your realm is safe, again, Madam. We thank you for your help.

During this speech the animals gather in their groupings to perform the finale.

 

Sol:         Well, now we’ve reached the ending – as all the best ones do,

            Our story closes happily, with the Captain and his crew!

            The creatures lived in harmony upon the Rottnest shore –

            And Mijn Heer embraced Jan Pierawiet to be his son-in-law!

 

            Bluebeard and Clarissa have a tavern in Batavia,

            The Pie-Rats are on holiday in sunny ol’ Caribbea’…

            The Dugong moved to Geordie Bay, as it was quite her style,

            The artist gave up portraits to remain on Rottnest Isle!

 

And that’s the story that my mother told me, and her mother before that, and her mother before that.

 

Severity:  Just before we say our fond farewell,

               We are thankful for your faith in our spell.

               Magic makes anything possible!

               Magic makes everything possible!

 

All:          Three cheers for the children! Three cheers for the children!

 

Half company:                                                      The other half:

    Just before we say our last goodbye                 And just before we say goodbye

        We request that you always bear in mind       We do request you always bear in mind

        When you face stormy weather                        When you face stormy weather

        Always stand together                                        Always stand together

        We belong together                                            We belong together

        We are strong together!                                    We are strong together!

 

All:          We belong together!

            We belong together! 

 

                               

                               

 

 

 

FINIS

Back to... Week Thirteen

...or go back to... Script and Music - Act One

 

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View other 'Quokka' production extras...  Draft     Music - Act One     Music - Act Two

Script and Music - Act One     Script and Music - Act Two     Photo Gallery     Production Wrap-up     Cast and Crew Party

View other Notice Board entries... Week One - Week Two     Week Three - Week Four

Week Five - Week Six    Week Seven - Study Break: Week One     Study Break: Week Two - Week Eight

Week Nine - Week Ten     Week Eleven - Week Twelve     Week Thirteen     Week Fourteen

 

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Contact Andrew @ thechaseison@optusnet.com.au

This page last updated: 16th January 2006