Children's Theatre: Captain Quokka's Music

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12) Introductory Music Marking The Commencement

of Act II

 

 

13) Scene: Starfish, Starfish, of the Sea

 

A reprise of one of the earlier tunes. I made a blunder with lyrics, having recorded “pour your magic over me” instead of Jenny’s words. The original words are what should be said and sung, of course. Pg 22 of script.

 

Theresa:         Starfish, Starfish, of the sea, with your magic cover me

                  Starfish, Starfish, of the sea, with your magic cover me  (repeated)

 

 

(Theresa starts off chanting, and other animals join in singing as they approach. Speech according to script)

 

 

14)   The Many Protestations of an Ambiguous Blue-Ringed Octopus

 

A fast-paced and lengthy-ish one, but it’s one that I think could be a “showstopper” if  (and when) performed well. It’s not easy due to the pace and the difficult lyrics (even I stumbled here and there) – but I’m sure we’ll be able to pull it off! Pg 24 of script, 2.2

 

Octavia:           

I’ve lived my life in seclusion, here, far from commotion.

Keeping wide berth of intrusion, here, deep in the ocean.

It helps me to focus my vision on things still unseen and unsaid…

Yes, sir, I’m in the position to forecast what’s lying ahead!

 

I’ve lived my life in the stillness of these silent waters,

Sheltered from gossip and illness, in my Octavian quarters.

But lately I’ve been inundated with company, living and dead!

Piratically escapaded is my precious, polluted seabed… It’s

 

Tarnished and tainted with burnished and painted things,

Diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

An octopian mystic turned downright ballistic by diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

For Cod’s sake! Jewels and signet rings! God’s hake!

Sparkly and shiny things! Frog’s legs! I have no need for them,

Take ‘em back up to the surface and keep me from

Tarnished and tainted and varnished and painted things,

Diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

I’m a tentacled prophet who says, “Now come off it!”

To diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

Come on! Nuggets and tiaras, it’s bore-dom! Bullion’s inferior to

Sal-mon! I have no need for them take ‘em all out! Rainbow trout! And just leave me alone!

 

Now, am I a good witch or bad witch? Gad, which disposition?

I might be good, might be evil. Free will, your decision!

So I hate intruders, well shoot me! And yet I’m out giving advice!

If I could be ruder, I would be! Am I nasty? Am I nice? Arrgh, I’m surrounded by

 

Tarnished and tainted and furnished and painted things,

Diamonds and emeralds and pearls! An eight-legged magic-gal turned tot’lly tragic, well,

Diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

Spurn her treasures and bling-blings! Return her back to their ships,

Tuna Turner! I have no need for them,

Take ‘em back up to the surface and keep me from

Tarnished and tainted and varnished and hated things,

Diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

I’m a tentacled seer who says, “Bye-bye! See ya!” to diamonds and emeralds and pearls!

   Should a poor blue-ringed octopus put up with stones, jades and gems?

   Barracuda! I have no need for them!

   Take what you like, giant pike, and just leave me alone! Go on then, leave me alone!

 

 

15)        Scene: Her Inky Majesty Grants Us Her Presence

 

Another musicalised scene, where I thought we’d have the more dramatic lines sung instead of spoken. At the end: there’s that ubiquitous theme again. Oh, in the recording, Marilda’s sung segment overlaps with the crabs’ speech (see page after next) – that was an accident, not intentional. You’ll hear what I mean. From bottom of pg 27 of script.

 

 

Theresa:                 I give you – Octavia! (Enter Octavia, regal and threatening)

 

Octavia:                 I told you I liked making an entrance.

   

Dugong:                                Yes, I recall. Never could resist a moment in the spotlight.

 

Theresa:                 We’ve come in answer to your summons, oh powerful one.

 

Capt Q:                   And to seek your help. Theresa the Turtle, my faithful First Mate, has told us of your wisdom.

 

Octavia:                 Has she now? She was always the most intelligent of my apprentices. And what are you staring at?

 

Severity:                Be still, girls. Not another move from you.

 

Octavia:                 Speak then, and tell me why you have come in search of my wisdom.

 

Capt Q:                   There is danger on the waves –

 

Octavia:                 There always is!

 

Capt Q:                   But in this case we know it’s close and that we have to defeat, somehow, that most villainous of all creatures –

 

All:                   Bluebeard the Pie-Rat!

 

Theresa:            And his devilish crew.

 

Octavia:            Buccaneer Bluebeard, eh?

 

Dugong:            I’ve made his acquaintance. A nasty piece of work!

 

Katz:                He sank my Duyfken in blood so cold – and now he seeks the gold that’s in its hold!

 

Marilda:            He cast my precious Jan adrift and left him for dead!

 

Jan:                         But if he knows I’m alive, he’ll seek me out to finish off the job!

 

Marilda:                 Oh, Jan!

 

Jan:                         Because I know where the Duyfken went down!

 

Katz:                       And if the mouse is murdered, I’ll never find my bullion. And all will be ruined!

 

Van Dyk:                Ja, ja, Mijn Heer. Hold it like that, that’s just what I’m after!

 

Octavia:                 How very odd!

 

Theresa:                 But back to the matter at hand, oh wise one!

 

Capt Q:                   We seek your advice in the face of a common threat! What shall we do with Bluebeard coming our way?

 

Crustaceans:         It’s too dreadful!

 

Chloe:                     We’ll be crab pate, I know we will!

 

Severity:                Now girls, don’t work yourselves up!

 

Cordelia:                Crab Chowder, we’ll be SOUP!

 

Severity:                Of course you won’t be!

 

Caprice:                  Or a – a crab soufflé!

 

Severity:                They’re not that inventive!

 

Calypso:                                If those Pie-Rats get here, we’ll be crusty crab pies!

 

Severity:                Now…that is a possibility.

 

Colonel C:              Not if we can help it, Madam! We are here for advice! Let us hear the Wise One’s words…

 

Octavia:                 Peace, I have heard enough! Now it is my turn to speak!

                                These Pie-Rats are the scourge of the Seven Seas!

 

Capt Q:             Yet how exciting their lives are!

 

Octavia:            They pillage and they plunder –

 

Katz:                They do! They do!

                        They pillaged my poor Duyfken and they left it for dead!

 

Octavia:            AS I was saying! They pillage and they plunder and pollute the seabed!

 

Capt Q:             But how they LIVE – the passion! It was my life once!

 

Octavia:            And they devastate the habitat of all in my dominions!

 

Theresa:                 They must be stopped! This you know, Master!

 

Capt Q:                   Of course I do, Theresa. But there are times when it’s hard to resist the siren call on the tide…

 

Theresa:                 That was a long time ago now, Master. Remember your promise!

 

Sol:                   What’s this? Our hero, Captain Q being questioned on his trust?

                        Could he be a marsupial with, perhaps, a murky past?

 

Octavia:            Ah, Captain Quokka!

                        You can feel his tendrils pulling at you, sucking you back

                        To another time and place – can you resist the attack?!

 

Col Cucumber:            I say, give the chap a chance, your Majesty! He’s one of us now!

 

Octavia:            But only just! Well, look at him! He’s torn in two!

                        Look at his face – there’s ‘temptation’ written all upon it!

                        If I wasn’t so determined to rid myself and my underwater world of Blue­beard and his hideous crew, I’d enjoy this moment! But Bluebeard must be banished and order restored once more to my treasured realm.

 

Jan:                         I’m afraid, your Majesty, he’ll stop at nothing! I know what he’s capable of!

 

Octavia:                 And you think I have no idea, young Mouse?

 

Jan:                         No of course not! Oh mighty sea witch!

 

Dugong:                                I think it’s established that Bluebeard is to be challenged – but our question is how?

 

Severity:                We’ve answered your summons and – at great risk to the land creatures who’ve had to rely on magic – thank you children – to stay alive, we’ve braved the elements –

 

Crustaceans:                The Sea Weed Forest!

 

Penguins:                And the cave where the sh-sh-sh-SHARKS hang out!

 

Marilda:            Yes, we’ve come all this way! 

                        We’ve been worried, and frightened, and – BRAVE!

                        We’d rather do all that we can do defeat them

                        Than turn into nouvelle cuisine in the galley of the Black Albatross!

 

Dugong:                                Well spoken – uh, I mean sung, Marilda! You’re a real brick!

 

Capt Q:                   Out of the mouths of kittens. Fair words, Marilda.  

 

Jan:                         My soul mate!

 

Katz:                       Don’t start that lovey-dovey stuff again, please! I lost everything I owned when my ship went down and now Bluebeard is coming for my gold. I must get to it first! But how?

 

Octavia:            Oh very well, if you must know… you have been chosen –

 

All:                   Chosen?

 

Octavia:            CHOSEN. To fight an elemental battle: a battle between GOOD

                        That’s you lot – and EVIL!

 

All:                   That’s Bluebeard the Pie-Rat!

 

Octavia:                 They’re sharp, they’re really sharp. And to defeat the Forces of evil, you’ll need to train – to train as you never imagined you would!

 

Priscilla:                 Just tell me what to do –

 

Prunella: And me too!

 

Capt Q:                   This will never work, o Wise One! I know Bluebeard and a better swordsman doesn’t exist in the Southern hemisphere.

 

Octavia:                 Who mentioned swords? My plan is more cunning than that – meet your trainer:

                                Theresa, the Ninja Turtle!

 

All:                          Gasp!

 

Col Cucumber:                East meets West – oh this is devilishly cunning, what!

 

Capt Q:                   My first mate, I had no idea!

 

Octavia:                 There is very little time – Bluebeard is already anchored above us. Watch, listen, obey – your master has much to teach you.

 

Theresa:                 Follow me – ours is an elemental battle!

 

Capt Q:                   A battle I must not lose!

 

Octavia:            The training begins! Creatures of the land ‘n’ sea –

                        Confront, defeat this enemy!

 

All:                   We will stand together! We will stand together!

 

 

16)        Women We Are, In Clothes Of Utter Loathing

 

A nice little moment for Clarissa and Nell. Fast-paced and hence might need some getting used to. Pg 33, 2.3

 

 

Clarissa:  ‘What country, friend, is this’?

 

Nell:     Oh, please don’t start that, Mistress. You know very well that this is Rottnest Island.

 

Clarissa:  Ah, but Nell, remember the days when I held an audience in the palm of my hand?

           

 

 

 

The playhouse panorama! I’m enamoured of the glamour and the drama!

The works of Shakespeare: my stunning Viola! I still remember her.

She dressed up as a man so she could serve the Duke Orsino of Illyria…

If you could see her! But that’s another tale altogether!

     

Look, here we are today, in clothes of utter loathing!

It’s risky, we confess! And perilous, oh yes, but in it lies the fun! 

Yea, here we are indeed, we lambs in wolfish clothing!

The cunning parts we play more underhanded, aye, of all we’ve ever done!

 

Nell:      If Bluebeard finds out that his cabin boys are none other than yourself, Mistress Clarissa, and myself, your servant Nell –

 

Clarissa:  He’d have us walk the plank, I believe! Women on the ‘Black Albatross’! What an out­rage!

 

Nell:      He’d be angry, but he’d get over it. Wouldn’t he?

 

Clarissa: (laughing) Afraid of a keelhauling for our deception, Nell? Never fear, he doesn’t sus­pect a thing! Oh, Nell! I’m at my wits’ end with him. I just want him to notice me! There must be something I can do to get his attention!

 

Back in the good old days, I’d only have to blink and men would stare forever!

My first Ophelia (she had dementia!) I still remember her.

Her song of sadness, ditty of insanity drew tears of admiration!

Appreciation and wild ovation! But that’s all over…

 

Now here we are today (Nell may echo as on CD) – we girls in young men’s outfits!

It’s scary, yes, it’s true, and a little scratchy too, men’s clothing are low-grade!

Still, here we are indeed – all masculine and stout, it’s

Really quite a fraud, but as long as we’re on board, well, then we’ve got it made!

 

Nell:            Bluebeard will need all the help he can get to recover the gold bullion that went down with the Duyfken! Now’s your chance to show him what you can do!

 

Clarissa:     You’re right. There’s no point in moping around here. We’d better get back to the Black Albatross with these provisions. Bluebeard the Pie-Rat has called a meeting to discuss his plan of action!

 

Nell:            We’d better not waste anymore time then, Mistress – Onward to the Black Albatross – and the nastiest captain and crew I’ve ever met.

 

Clarissa:     Don’t forget our extremely cunning disguises. Bluebeard must not know who his cabin boys really are!

 

Sol:         I really like Clarissa and Nell. Don’t you? I wonder what happens next…?

 

 

 

17)        Tis Where That Wretched Wreck Sank To The Floor / Scene: Tie To The Mast All Of Them

 

I’ve recorded the main sung bits and some of the dialogue, excluding a big chunk in the middle where there’ll be accompanying background music to the action that takes place. Pg 34, 2.4

 

Pie-Rats, Nell, Clarissa:

            Ahoy mates, all hands on deck! Tis where that wretched wreck

            Duyfken, sank to the floor!           

            T’was quite a battle, they shivered and rattled and left us a-wanting more!

            Avast ye, it took a while, but we have reached the isle, West End of Rottnest, hoay!

            Shiver me timbers, no room for beginners today!

 

(Sol may join in, to provide irony):

            Yo, ho, ho ho! We’ll get what’s coming! Yea, we’ll get what’s coming!

            Ho, picaroons! We’ll get what’s coming! All that we deserve!

 

Bluebeard:             Arrrrgh! Here we are then, my fellow pie-rats, anchored at the very spot, off the West End of Rottnest Island, where the Duyfken went to the bottom of the ocean. Hahaha!

 

Smee:                      Arrrgh. That’s right, Master Bluebeard, this is the very spot!

 

Bluebeard:             Arrgh. What a battle that was!

 

Smart:                     Yes, a memorable battle, master –

 

Sneer:                     Except for the small matter (coughs) of the loss of the treasure we were after!

 

(Etc according to script until the Pie-Rats discover Nell and Clarissa, pg 38 of script)

 

 

Sneer:                     What have we here, Master Smart?

 

Smart:                     A mutineer, Master Sneer!

 

Sneer:                     What shall we do with them, Mr Smart?

 

Smart:               Tie them to the mast! Tie them all to the mast!

 

Pie Rats:            Tie them to the mast! Tie them all to the mast! Tie them to the mast!

                        Tie them to the mast! Tie them all to the mast! Tie them to the mast!

                        Tie them all to the mast! Tie them to the mast! Tie them all to the mast!

                        Tie them all, tie them all, tie them all, all to the mast! /

 

Clarissa, Nell (simultaneously):

                        No, no, no, please! Show some compassion! No! We did not mean this!

                        No, no, no, please! You’ll get what’s coming! All that you deserve!

 

All Pie-Rats:            Yo, ho, ho ho! We’ll get what’s coming! Yea, we’ll get what’s coming!

                        Well, blow me down! We’ll get what’s coming! All that we deserve!

 

Bluebeard:             You’re my best mates after all! We’ll deal with you shortly, arrgh, but first we must get the treasure we’ve come for! We need to think of a plan. Arrgh. Pull yourself together, man!

 

Smart:                     We have no idea, Master Bluebeard.

 

Sneer:                     We’re not sure how it works, but that starfish over there…!

 

Sol:       The Pie-Rats thus told Bluebeard of the things that they had seen and heard:

            The power of the Starfish and the magic things that had occurred…

 

Bluebeard:            Go on!

 

Sol:       …For Captain Quokka and his crew to dive beneath the sea

            To the grotto of Octavia… without a diving helmet!

 

Bluebeard:                They never… arrgh!

 

Sol:       Smart and Sneer, for the life of them, could not remember the magic chant

            (Because, I’m sure, as you’ve deduced, a clever Pie-Rat pair they aren’t)!

            But Bluebeard knew that Captain Q would soon be on his way,

            In search of Jan and M’rilda, so –

 

Bluebeard:                Hahaha! They’ll have to give me their magic in exchange for my little hostage! She’ll never leave here alive! So that I can descend safely to the seabed and recover the lost gold!

 

Sneer:                     We’ll be wealthy at last, arrgh!

 

Smart:                     Arrgh, that we shall be! We can retire to an island in the Caribbean!

 

Bluebeard:                And I can settle down with that fine wench, Clarissa!

.

Clarissa:                 Can this possibly be true?!

 

 

 

   Scene: Training You Creatures My Role Is Here

 

Not recorded, pending confirmation of scenic action. Pg 39, before 2.5

 

 

18)        Quonfessions Of A Queerly Quonflicted Quokka

 

Since there was so much mentioned on Capt Q’s pirate past, I thought I’d exemplify it a bit further with this pitter-patter number. Pg 40, top of page.

 

Capt Q:   But it was a time of such passion! Such adventure!

 

Once upon a time I was led a life with Pie-Rat Bluebeard here,

I know the thrill and joy of being a buoyant buccaneer…

We’d lounge and leap from ship to ship to claim our right reward,

Swashbuckling with my mighty sword…! (swashbuckles…)

Cod, help me for I fear

I feel the tug of spite and smugness being a pirateer… (groans) That’s not really a word.

 

Upon our loyal ship, the rather hip and stalwart Albatross,

We’d look for buried treasure, we’d do anything at all

      To add on to our lot, we’d plot where X’s mark the spot –

With fire and full finesse we fought – (swashbuckles some more)

       Oh, help me for I’m caught

       Here fraught with thoughts of treasure sought that ought to be forgot!

 

      We had a trusty crew and we’d do it together –

      Sail upon the seas to increase our wealth!

      My shipmates, loud and cynical, would ride upon the pinnacle

      While I looked on the binnacle to lead our way in stealth!

 

      We’d creep upon our victim (and sometimes at random,

      Whichever wretched vessel would be right on our route!)

      We’d pillage, pinch and plunder and pollute as they went under

      And, with them rent asunder, I’d be given the salute!

 

      But then I turned around, and said I’m bound to lead a life of good;

      My bandit days I threw away, I moved from dark to light…

      Yet here I stand, conflicted; t’was predicted, I suppose,

That when I chose the choice I chose… (Sneezes)

(Gross, I have to blow my nose!) … As I was saying…

That when I made my choice, I found I have to stand my ground

      And do what’s right!

 

Enter Jan, etc…

 

 

 

 

19)        Scene: Ingredients Served Before A Mighty Battle

 

Okay, this is largely a throwaway song; the idea just popped into my head when I was reading the script, and I thought, Okay, why not? Have Bluebeard “sing” and make fun of the creatures as ingredients! The idea I had was that he and the other pie-rats would break into a mocking song and dance, only to have it abruptly halted when Katz exclaims his line, leaving the Pie-rats frozen stupidly in mid-dance. I dunno. From my own head. I’m weird like that. The rest of the scene will obviously be accompanied, but I haven’t recorded it pending choreography of the battle scenes. Pg 41.

 

Bluebeard:        What pathetic foot soldiers you have, Quokka! Your forces are best served up as…     

                        I see a spread of fish-heads served in hot and spicy curry

                  And I’m always in a hurry for a hot and spicy curry!

                  I’d travel, arr, to near and far for just one jar of caviar 

                  Or calamari with that curry, crab mornay, hooray!

                       

                  Ingredients! Ingredients! You’re nothing but ingredients!

                  Some salmon roe’s delish, I know! Perhaps some turtle stew!

                  Ingredients! Ingredients! As chef, I’ve had experience –

                  Some grilled or charbroiled quokka, yea, I’d eat you too!

                       

Pie-Rats dance, until the scene reverts to the original, leaving them frozen stupidly in mid-motion.

 

Katz:          My daughter! She must be freed at once!

 

Etc, according to script.

 

 

 

20)  Finale – Together: Just Before We Say Goodbye

 

Pg 44 of script. Since we started with a song (and basically maintained it throughout the show), I thought we should naturally end with one too. Lo and behold. It’s a tune you’ve all never heard before. I swear. You’ve never heard it. Not once. Not ever.

 

Priscilla:     Ooh! Look! There’s Octavia!

 

Prunella:            Whatever is she carrying – it looks very heavy!

 

Octavia:     Here it is, then. The treasure you’ve all been searching for! Much good may it do you! Now I hope you’ll leave me in peace?

 

Theresa:     Your realm is safe again, Madam. We thank you for your help.

 

Sol:          Well, now we’ve reached the ending – as all the best ones do,

               Our story closes happily, with the Captain and his crew!

               The creatures lived in harmony upon the Rottnest shore –

               And Mijn Heer embraced Jan Pierawiet to be his son-in-law!

 

                     Bluebeard and Clarissa have a tavern in Batavia,

               The Pie-Rats are on holiday in sunny ol’ Caribbea’…

               The Dugong moved to Geordie Bay, as it was quite her style,

               The artist gave up portraits to remain on Rottnest Isle!

 

               And that’s the story that my mother told me, and her mother before that, and her mother before that.

 

               Just before we say our fond farewell,

               We are thankful for your faith in our spell.

                     Magic makes anything possible! Magic makes everything possible!

 

All:                Three cheers for the children! Three cheers for the children!

 

Half company:                                                      The other half:

            Just before we say our last goodbye          And just before we say goodbye

                    We request that you always bear in mind    We do request you always bear in mind

                    When you face stormy weather          When you face stormy weather

                    Always stand together             Always stand together

                    We belong together             We belong together

                    We are strong together             We are strong together

 

All:          We belong together!

            We belong together!                                               {FINIS}

* * *

 

Okay that pretty much wraps it up, boys and girls! Proceed to the next track for accompanying music.

 

By the way, due to space limitations on the CD, it was impossible for me to rerecord the backing tracks for the entire list of songs; as such, I’ve only included the below-mentioned titles for the performers’ practising pleasure. Other songs (especially the scenes) you’ll have to practice with the vocal-included tracks. Sorry! J

 

21)  Prologue: The Show We Put On Today I’ll Guide

 

22)  We Of Forward Thought But Sideways Mobility

 

23)  The Days and Adventures We Shared / Skipper of the Sturdy Barge (same track)

 

24)  Brandy Poured Out In A Tarnished Flute

 

25)  Together: Life Is But An Empty Page

 

26)  The Tragic Story Of One Young Jan Pierawiet (until end of dramatic narration)

 

27)  Together: Strong Though the Future is Unclear

 

28)  The Many Protestations of An Ambiguous Blue-Ringed Octopus

 

29)  Women We Are, in Clothes of Utter Loathing

 

30)  Tis Where That Wretched Wreck Sank to the Floor / Scene: Tie To the Masts All Of Them

 

31)  Quonfessions of A Queerly Quonflicted Quokka

 

32)  Finale: Together – Just Before We Say Goodbye

 

 

Music by Nick Choo

Lyrics by Jenny deReuck & Nick Choo

© 2005 My email for queries, comments, hate mail, etc: nick_cmkit@lycos.com

MSN msnger: nickmaniac@hotmail.com

http://nickmaniac.blogspot.com 

www.geocities.com/nick_cmkit/index.html

   

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This page last updated: 16th January 2006