Lit by Limelight Script - Final Script
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Lit by Limelight: The Adventures of a Little Tin Soldier
A Play in Two Acts
By
Jenny de Reuck
Copyright Jenny de Reuck and Murdoch Print, 2009
List of Characters
The Child
Amelia, whose story this is
The Muses
Melpomene, a Tragic Muse
Terpsichore, the Muse of Dance, her sister
Euterpe, the Muse of Song, her younger sister
Thalia, a Comic Muse, their little sister
The Commedia dell’Arte Characters
Punch (Pulcinello), the Arch Villain of this story
Judy, his long-suffering spouse who yearns to shine
Harlequin, a mischievous young scamp, in love with Columbine
Columbine, a dancer, in love with Harlequin
Pierrette, a coquettish young clown
Pantaloon, a miserly old man, Father of Columbine, Master of Harlequin
The Fremantle Fairies of the Banksia Garden
Honeysuckle, a neurotic Banksia Fairy
Violet, a Banksia Fairy with attitude
Woolly, a competitive Banksia Fairy
The Banksia Buskers
Mad, a mandolin-playing Fairy
Flute, a flautist Fairy
Clari, a clarinet-playing Fairy
Strum, a guitar-playing Fairy
Chord, a singing Fairy
The Dolls
Madam Butterfly, an operatic diva doll
Dame Desdemona, a melodramatic porcelain doll
Signorita Tapasita, a Spanish dancing doll
Generalissimo Fantastico, a burly baritone doll
The Tin Soldiers
Colonel Contentious, the leader of the Tin Soldiers
Brown Bess, his Batman
Captain Carbine, his incompetent Second in Command
Sergeant Siege, an excitable Toy Soldier
Corporal Cannon, an earnest Toy Soldier
Private Pellet, a dim-witted Toy Soldier
The Little Tin Soldier, Tristan, a young war hero
The Pie Rats
Captain Courageous, a dashing buccaneer
Lieutenant Barnacle, a devious buccaneer
Harry Hornpipe, the cheerful First Mate
Swab, a lowly deckhand.
Bilge, an even lowlier deckhand.
Mog, the Ship’s Cat.
List of Set pieces
Back drops x 2
Side Panels x 2
Grecian Pillar
Dolls House structure – scaffolding; MDF; wooden stairs
Toy Box
Moon and stars (fly)
Banksia (fly)
Wooden railing of the good ship Black Albatross
Collapsible Mast with Calico sails furled
Helm
Rudimentary gang-plank from stage to auditorium (movable)
Puppet theatre interior (flat)
List of Scenes
Scene 1. On the “Black Albatross” off the Coast Of Western Australia
Scene 2: Near the Acropolis in Greece
Scene 3: On the Swan River
Scene 4: Amelia’s Bedroom
Scene 5: An Attic in Amelia’s Cottage
Scene 6: The Banksia Garden
Scene 7: The Tin Soldiers on Parade
Scene 8: Another Part of the Attic
Scene 9: The Victorian Dolls’ House Auditions
Scene 10: The Arrival of the Muses in Fremantle.
Scene 11: On the Deck of the Black Albatross,
Scene 12: Amelia’s Bedroom
Scene 13: Dame Desdemona’s Drawing Room
Scene 14: The Tin Soldiers on Manoeuvres in Fremantle
Scene 15: Punch’s Puppet Theatre Prison
Scene 16: The Banksia Garden, with midnight approaching.
Scene 17: High Street, Fremantle.
Scene 18: Back at the Victorian Dolls House
Act 1
Scene 1: On the Black Albatross off the Coast of Western Australia
SFX a storm. On the Balcony SR the mast of the Black Albatross can be seen with Captain Courageous at the helm and Harry Hornpipe ‘pulling’ on the ropes. Bilge will have an anchor in hand and be leaning dangerously over the side in her attempts to drop it into the ‘water’. Mog will be bailing out the water and her final ‘throw’ should be the clown-like sprinkle of ‘water’ – paper – onto the audience.
The pace is fast and intense as the scene is set for the later action.
Captain Courageous: (Urgently, but cheerfully, giving instructions ) Furl the mains’l, Hornpipe!
Harry: (Helping him steer the ship) Bring her about, Captain Courageous!
Captain Courageous: Steer a course for the headland over there, Hornpipe!
Bilge: (Yelling) Ready to drop anchor, Cap’n! (He lowers it over the balcony edge)
Mog: (Peering into the auditorium) Miaow. Mind the jelly-fish. What a lot of ‘em there are to be sure!
SFX storm starts to abate a little
Captain Courageous: Starboard, Harry, not port – head for those calm waters over there and we’ll hoist our flag, provision the ship and wait for the tide to turn.
Harry: Arghh. Ay, ay, Cap’n. Lower the anchor, Bilge!
Bilge: Ay, ay, Harry. Arrgh. (She does so).
Mog: (Hoisting the Jolly Roger with the Smiley Face) Miaow! Land ahoy! (Urgently) Mind those jelly-fish, Bilge.
The anchor arrives in the auditorium as the flag reaches its position. SFX fading down to seagulls and lapping waves as they reach the calmer waters of the Swan.
Captain Courageous: (Peering through his telescope) What a delightful spot, Harry Hornpipe! A perfect place for provisions. Buccaneer Barnacle and Swab, our lowly deckhand, will set off to shore immediately. We’re all starving -
Harry: Arrghh!
Bilge: Arrghh!
Mog: Miaow!
Captain Courageous: - and could do with a little rest, couldn’t we? After that violent storm! (Calling as he heads back down the balcony) Buccaneer Barnacle, Swab! I have a task for you …
Harry: Check the knots on this rope, Bilge, finish bailing the ship, Mog, then get below deck to clean up! You, too, Mog.
He starts to exit after Captain Courageous.
Mog: Ay, ay, Harry Hornpipe!
Bilge: (Fastens the anchor) Ay, ay, Harry Hornpipe!
He follows Harry Hornpipe out.
Mog: (Stage business: aims the bucket at the audience, brings it back once, twice, then throws the ‘water’ – sparkles – onto the audience.) What a lot of jelly fish there are out there.
Harry: Mog! Move along then! You’re wanted below decks.
Mog: Miaow. Coming Harry Hornpipe, Sir!
She exits hastily after him.
Music of the spheres starts to play. LFX lights down on the balcony.
Scene 2: Near the Acropolis in Greece
The lights in the auditorium dim and we hear the ‘music of the spheres’ which grinds to an ear-shattering halt. The lights come up slowly to reveal the outline of two figures striking a Grecian pose – Terpsichore with her lyre and Euterpe with her flute. They are two of the 9 sisters, daughters of Zeus, known as the Muses, goddesses of the arts, founts of dramatic inspiration. Near them should be a crumbling marble pillar and the suggestion of a frieze within which they are framed. They are dressed in flowing white togas and carry their signature props. in gold. They should have golden ivy in their hair.
Terpsichore (Dance): (Relaxing out of her pose) That’s it! We’ve waited long enough, Euterpe, I’m not doing this anymore.
Euterpe (Song): (Still holding her pose) Just a little longer, Sister, they promised they’d be here and they never break their promises.
Terpsichore: Well, it’s been centuries, now, that we’ve stood here and I’m stiff and sore. (She bends and stretches). If I don’t move soon I’ll forget how to dance and what sort of Muse would I be then!
Euterpe: (Still valiantly holding her pose and her lyre) Well, I haven’t put my flute to my lips in decades, either, but I think we should wait just a little longer for them. Melpomene gets so angry if we disobey her! (Shivers, breaking the pose, then rapidly regains it.)
Terpsichore: The Goddess of Tragedy! Always giving herself airs and graces. I’m not afraid of her! (She executes a little dance step but is abruptly halted as she hears the voice of her sister from the back of the auditorium.)
Melpomene is the eldest of the sisters and the dominant one. A tragedienne in the Sarah Bernhardt mould, she takes herself and her art very seriously. She is literally larger than life and carries a golden tragic mask as her symbol.
Melpomene (Tragedy): (Striking a tragic attitude before descending the stairs. LFX follow spot.) Ah, there you are dah-lings! But what is this? I leave you for a few decades with a simple instruction to hold your poses until I return and what do I find? You, Terpsichore, behaving like an opera dancer, and you, Euterpe, encouraging her!
Euterpe: (Indignantly) But… but… I didn’t, Melpomene! I haven’t moved a muscle since you left, I promise!
Terpsichore: (A little assertively) I couldn’t wait any longer, Melpomene. What took you so long? We thought you weren’t coming.
Melpomene: I would have been here years ago if our littlest sister – (strikes another dramatic pose) – hadn’t lost the Flask of Imagination.
Euterpe: What!??
Terpsichore: She did NOT!
Melpomene: (Tragically) She did. But all is not lost. She’s located it again.
Euterpe: (Breathing a huge sigh of relief) Thank goodness for that! Without the Flask, we’d be in terrible trouble!
Terpsichore: Not just us! All of humanity – no creativity, no imagination ANYWHERE. It would be too dreadful to think of.
Melpomene: Yes, well, I had to fly half way round the world to find her and bring her here to our meeting. You know what she’s like!
Euterpe: Easily distracted, I know!
Terpsichore: Utterly uncontrollable, you mean!
Melpomene: Exactly. Never was anyone so sorely tried as I have been by her antics! (Looking back over her shoulder) You’ve no idea where I’ve been! And where has she got to now? She was meant to be following me with the Flask! (To the others) Oh do relax, Sisters. That ‘frozen’ position was meant merely to allay suspicion. We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves.
Terpsichore: Well, it’s worked! No-one knows we’re alive.
Euterpe: They think we’re just figures on a marble wall … a crumbling one at that!
Melpomene: Ah, Sisters, that is precisely the problem. Look at us – we who were once so magnificent (dramatic pause) reduced to mere shadows of ourselves. It is too, too, dreadful!
As she speaks there’s a rustling at the back of the auditorium and Thalia (Comedy), the youngest of the sisters enters. She is dressed like her siblings in white and gold, but is clearly less constrained, more boisterous and childish. She is the sense of fun within us all and carries a golden mask of comedy as her symbol!
Thalia (Comedy): (Descending the stairs in a rush, clutching at her golden vine-leaf coronet) Yoo-hoo! I’m here. Have I missed anything? (To the children in the audience, confidingly)I’m so going to get into trouble with my sisters for dropping that Flask. (Looks towards Melpomene) Melpomene gets so cross with me! But it’s all fine, I found it again– isn’t it gorgeous? And I’m only a few minutes late!
She skips up to the stage and pretends to be ashamed of herself but will take any opportunity to tease all her sisters and (hopefully) align with the young members of the audience.
Melpomene: We’re decades late because of you Thalia! Your sisters have almost crumbled to nothing, waiting for us. Look at them! (Clutching her bosom in dramatic earnest) Disappearing before our very eyes.
[LFX cue here – the ‘limelight’ that washes the apron should fade slowly as the scene progresses to establish the vanishing of the Arts that forms the core of the action]
They look at each other a little astonished.
Euterpe: How very strange!
Terpsichore: We’re fading away!
Thalia: Sorry, Euterpe. (Hugs them each in turn). Sorry, Terpsicore!
Euterpe: Let’s not waste any more time, then. (Plays a slightly broken note on her flute).
Terpsichore: No, indeed! The meeting is called to order. (Executes a quick, but slightly clumsy pas de chat as she frames the action). That’s odd. I wonder what’s happening?
Melpomene: (Looking at Thalia sternly) Thalia! Show me the Flask!
Thalia: (Cautiously handing it to her) It isn’t broken, I promise!
Euterpe: It looks as beautiful as ever –
Terpsichore: - but appearances can be deceptive as we know only too well!
Melpomene: (Removing the lid and turning it upside down) It - is – empty! (Hugely dramatically) Oh, Thalia!
Thalia: (In a little voice) Sorry!
Euterpe: What have you done?
Thalia: (Still abject) Sorry!
Melpomene: She’s found the Flask but lost its precious Contents! Oh, Thalia!!!
Terpsichore: Oh, no! If that precious liquid has fallen into the wrong hands …!
Thalia: I’m so sorry! I didn’t know it was empty!
Euterpe: How could you be so careless, Thalia!
The lights flicker ominously to suggest their fading powers.
Melpomene: (LFX flickering) It’s as I feared all along. It’s already too late, Sisters, the light is fading and with it our songs, our dances and our drama! Oh woe is me! (Dramatic pose, hand to her head) We shall be annihilated!
Euterpe: Don’t be so silly, Melpomene! You know it’s never too late. The lime-light only does that to warn us!
Terpsichore: Well, it’s certainly doing that! (It flickers again)
Thalia: (To the heavens, pleading) Oh, please don’t do that! I’m really, really sorry!
Melpomene: There’s not a moment to lose! Our power is fading with the limelight and once lost – despite what you say, Euterpe - it cannot be recovered. Sisters, if we are to save our songs and dances; our poetry and drama, our very selves we must find the Contents of the Flask –
Euterpe: - before it’s too late!
Terpsichore: What if it’s fallen into the wrong hands … oh, Sisters! I can’t bear to think about it!
Euterpe: Where did you drop it, Thalia? Quickly, now – there’s no time to waste.
Thalia: (Biting her nails, trying to recall) It was quite far away …
Melpomene: I knew I should never have left you to roam free across the centuries!
Thalia: - near a beautiful garden. (Remembering) A Banksia Garden. (To the audience) I played with the Fairies for a while. They’re so pretty!
Terpsichore: (Exasperated) Details, Thalia – we need more information!
Thalia: (Recalling properly now) Oh, yes! I remember now! I know I still had it in the Banksia Garden. That’s right. It was in Western Australia – near a little town, called Fremantle. That must have been where I dropped it!
Melpomene: There’s not a moment to lose! Sisters, away on the wind, to return when we’ve found the precious Contents of the Flask -
Euterpe and Terpsichore: The Flask of Imagination!
They exit SL as their theme music plays, following Melpomene, and all in character, with Thalia dawdling until summoned by all three sisters.
Thalia: (To the audience) I’m in such trouble, now. But I didn’t mean to spill the Contents. Really I didn’t.
Sisters: (Offstage) Thalia – hurry up! We’re waiting!
Thalia: (Obediently responding – she’s a little chastened by the disaster she’s caused) Better go! Wait here, though – we’ll be back.
Scene 3: On the Swan River
Music SFX indicate the presence of Barnacle and Swab, rowing ashore in a tender worn as a strapped on ‘boat’ as for Ningaloo Knights. Swab is doing the labour while Buccaneer Barnacle leans back in the boat, clutching a small barrel which he is – apparently - going to re-fill with rum and hugely enjoying himself.
Barnacle: We’re almost there, Swab! Keep up the pace you lazy dog.
Swab: I’m doing my best, Master!
Barnacle: Well, that’s not quite good enough, is it then?
Swab: (Heaving away) Can’t go any faster, Master, this is it!
Barnacle: Well, it’s not much further, Swab. When we reach dry land, we’ll head ashore – to my meeting in the ‘Banksia Garden’ (consulting his letter), just as his note says.
Swab: (Puffed) Whose note, Master?
Barnacle: Pulcinello’s note, Swab. (Laughs nastily) A Plotting Puppet is Pulcinello. And I have something he’d like very much indeed. It’s worth its weight in gold (heh heh heh.)
Swab: (As the boat reaches shore with a jolt) Land ahoy, Master. We’re here!
Buccaneer Barnacle is almost tipped into the water in the process and takes a swipe at Swab as he regains his barrel and his dignity.
Barnacle: You fool, Swab! I nearly dropped this. (Gestures to the barrel) And if I had – (pulls himself up, not ready to give things away –yet).
Swab: (Innocently)You could just buy another one with the ducats Captain Courageous gave you for the provisions! It’s what you usually do, Master!
Barnacle: (Clutching the barrel tightly and looking around furtively) Just be careful, Swab! This barrel of …rum … must not leave our hands under any circumstances
Swab: (Aside to the audience) Very keen on his rum, Buccaneer Barnacle! Not good for him, not good for him at all.
Barnacle: Be quiet, Swab, and follow me! We must get to the Banksia Garden if I’m to make the meeting with Punch. Come along.
Swab pulls the boat up the bank and exits after Barnacle. SR.
Music for Pie Rats takes them off. SFX River, water, seagulls.
LFX down on the Apron. Fade.
Scene 4: Amelia’s Bedroom
Music for Amelia’s bedroom and the playroom scene can be heard as the lights LFX come up to reveal her playing with her toys.
Curtain is drawn back to reveal the Scrim behind which we can dimly discern the Little Tin Soldier standing to attention, his musket to his shoulder.
Amelia, dressed in a pinafore and skirt in the style of the 1840s, is playing beside an empty Victorian Dolls’ house and talking to her Rag Doll, Columbine. A toy soldier should be visible on the stage – but it’s not the focus of her attention. He lies forgotten …
Her ‘doll’ is made of calico and should be a miniature version of the Columbine she becomes when the Dolls enter Amelia’s world.
The characters that subsequently appear are all part of Amelia’s imagination so she is unfazed by their presence. They will appear from the toy box if possible.
Amelia: (To her cloth doll) Here they come, Columbine, just as I said they would! The players who will perform for us tonight.
SFX Theatre sounds – people cheering, laughing, clapping.
Columbine: Oh, Amelia, how this takes me back! I can smell the make-up, I can feel the lights on my face! (She strikes a Commedia pose)
Music plays under the dialogue as Columbine recalls another time and place.
Amelia: (To her cloth doll) Wait, Columbine, don’t start yet. Wait for the others - they’re part of the drama too!
Amelia picks up the toy soldier and looks at him.
Music plays the theme for the Little Tin Soldier as LFX the lights dim on the apron and come up on Tristan screened by the scrim. SFX sounds of battle in the background.
Tristan: How beautiful she is! And how long have I adored her from afar.
I, Tristan, the littlest of the Toy Soldiers, dare not think of her. And yet … and yet … if only she knew. If only I could tell her! She is everything to me. For her I would lose my life …
LFX fade on the scrim and come up on the apron.
Music theme for the Commedia characters announces their entry.
Harlequin and Pierrette enter from the toy box, tumbling in in character.
Columbine: (Delighted) Harlequin, Pierrette, it’s been so long!
They embrace each other as Pierrette stands a little to one side. She is always a little mournful and wipes a tear from her cheek. As we shall discover, it is because she has loved Harlequin for centuries while he has eyes only for Columbine.
Harlequin: Ah, sweet Columbine! (Kisses her hand)
Columbine: Ah, Harlequin! (In character, looking over her shoulder anxiously) My father must know nothing of this!
Sounds of firm footsteps can be heard offstage.
Pierrette: (Peeps behind the curtain) It’s Pantaloon! It’s Pantaloon! He’s coming this way!
Columbine: Oh, my father! He must not see us!!
They embrace and separate in a single movement that they’ve performed for centuries. And repeat it.
Harlequin: My master, he must not see us!
Columbine: He must not!
Harlequin: (Embracing her) But wait for me my love!
Columbine: I’ll wait for you forever!
Pierrette: (With an intense gesture, bringing her hand to her mouth) But break, my heart. He must never know the truth ….
Pantaloon appears over the edge of the toy box just as the lovers separate.
Pantaloon: (Furiously) Aha! There you are you loathsome creature! I’ve caught you at it – oh Ravisher of In –no –cence!!
Pierrette puts out a foot to trip him up as he lunges toward Harlequin. Stage ‘business’ as Harlequin evades him and runs off stage SL.
Columbine: (Indignantly) Indeed he is NOT! But let me help you up, Father.
Harlequin: (To the audience) I’ll be off then, before he can catch me.
Dashes out at speed as Pantaloon struggles to his feet, helped by Columbine.
Pierrette: Run, Harlequin! Save yourself -
Pantaloon: That rascal! He won’t escape me. I’ll catch him yet. (To Pierrette) And you! I haven’t finished with you yet! Daughter, stay where you are! I’ll be back. (He limps offstage calling) Harlequin! You scurvy servant! Harlequin!
Columbine looks US to where Harlequin has exited and then turns back forlornly. Pierrette looks down at the rose she is carrying and we become aware of them, each alone with their thoughts.
The music grows discordant fading as the lights go down.
Columbine: What happens, now, Amelia? You can’t stop there. I must know how it ends.
Pierrette: We can’t stop there! That’s not how it ends, surely?
Amelia: (Sadly, shaking her head) I’ve lost it again. That’s so strange. I never forget a story. Especially one that you toys are going to perform tonight.
Columbine: I thought you’d written the script.
Pierrette: You had, Amelia. And you promised me a lovely new role in it. I’m so tired of being the sad one, the mournful one, the one everyone feels sorry for.
Amelia: (Taking a tiny notebook from her pocket) I have written you a new part, Pierrette – you, too, Columbine – it’s all here and I’ve given it to the Porcelain Dolls for the auditions tonight. (She looks at the notebook, puzzled)
Columbine: What is it, Amelia …?
Amelia: I don’t know… I feel strange.
Pierrette: (Looking over her shoulder) The words… the words in your notebook. They’re getting fainter!
Amelia: I can’t remember the ending for some reason!
They all look at each other, anxiously as the theme music for the Little Tin Soldier is heard playing. Amelia picks up a toy soldier lying near the Victorian Dolls’ house.
Columbine: But you must remember, Amelia!
Pierrette: Oh, yes, Amelia, you must!
Amelia: Listen! What’s that sound?
They all look around anxiously
As she speaks we hear SFX the sound of soldiers marching in the distance. Their theme music grows louder and louder as they appear against the scrim marching in formation. The Tin Soldier Army led by Colonel Contentious is seen silhouetted against the scrim, on their knees, muskets at the ready.
Colonel Contentious: Ready, Tin Soldiers. Present Arms! (Pauses as they do so) Fire!
SFX a shot rings out and the Little Tin Soldier, clutching his arm, staggers in CS. They look at him in horror.
Tin Soldier: I remember, Amelia. I remember it well.
They all look at him in horror as he falls to the floor CS, clutching his arm. Columbine drops to her knees beside him as Amelia and Pierrette clutch each other appalled.
LFX Black out. Curtain closes
Scene 5: An Attic in Amelia’s Cottage.
Punch, the arch-villain of this piece, appears on the balcony. He is a master of deception and owes his construction to several stock characters that inform his existence here, including Mephistopheles, Moloch and (in this playwright’s fictional oeuvre) Caballus. Still, he retains something of the clown within himself – Pulcinello, from the Commedia dell’ Arte – though in his will to power he is even more determined (and ruthless) than his forerunner, Brighella. He wants nothing less than to destroy Childhood and aims to do so by controlling the Imagination. He will align with anyone who will serve his fiendish plot – and demolish anyone standing in his way.
Punch: (From the top of the ladder, SL.) I don’t like this! I don’t like it at all! That nasty little girl seems unusually imaginative and could destroy my Evil Plan – if she gets away with this. Fortunately she appears to be struggling to remember that story! She must not succeed – and she will not, if my brilliant plan works. (Laughs wickedly) And why wouldn’t it? (Sniggers. But lets out a girly shriek when he hears Judy’s entry)
Judy enters on the apron SR. She is the chink in his armour as he’s afraid of her, but masks his evil plans by pretending to give in to her and to submit to his conventional role as submissive husband when in her presence. It’s the essence of his disguise and the reason no-one suspects his villainous intentions!
Judy: (Calling him) Punch! Punch! There you are! What on earth are you doing up there you ridiculous creature. I’ve been searching for you up and down Fremantle. I’m exhausted! You know Dame Desdemona is holding auditions tonight at the Victorian Dolls’ House on the High Street and we’re running terribly late. Get down from there at once!
Punch: Your wish is my command, my Love! Observe! Your obedient servant.
(He starts to climb down the ladder.) And not, as you so rudely called me, “ridiculous” but rather, “athletic”. An athletic creature! (He makes his way a little awkwardly down the rungs.)
Judy: (Snorts with laughter) Athletic! I don’t think so, husband. At least not in my memory! Come along, Sir. I’m covered in sand from Port Beach where I, and I alone, I’ll have you know, packed up our belongings this afternoon. And before we audition this evening, Sir, I’ll have to freshen up.
Punch: (Sniggering) Indeed she will!
Judy: What was that? What did you say, Husband?
Punch: (Looking innocent.) Nothing, my Love. Nothing.
Judy: Well, don’t dilly-dally there any longer. We have costumes to select, a script to read and parts to practise if we’re to shine tonight. (Dreamily) I have longed all my life for a proper role in a serious production. And tonight’s my chance to … shine!
Punch: (Aside) Little does she know what I have in store for them all. It is my secret, mine alone. It’s a surprise. (Laughs wickedly) And what a surprise it will be!
Judy: (Briskly) Well come along then, Punch, we haven’t got all day! Follow me you foolish creature! (She exits hurriedly up the balcony as Punch lands in the auditorium and follows her off DSR)
Punch: Coming, my Love. I’m right behind you! (Takes a letter from his pocket). Ah, yes! (Reads the letter, unable to hide his glee)”Meet me in the Banksia Garden at sunset, arghh”. Whatever does that mean? “Meet me in the Banksia Garden”. Oh yes, Barnacle, I shall meet you, never fear. To the Banksia Garden, then. (Unable to contain himself) Oooh! What a surprise I have for them.
Judy: (Offstage, yelling) Punch, Pul-ci-nello!
Punch: (Hastily, but pulling a face) That would be me. Coming, my Love. I’m on my way!
He scurries off DSR.
Scene 6: The Banksia Garden
It is early evening, the mists [naturally] are rising so that the fairies are barely visible at first. The impression should be magical, breathtaking, as the curtain flies. This state should be extended until the mists begin to dissolve and vanish…
There is the sound of music from offstage and the troupe of Fairy musicians (Mad, Flute, Clari, Strum and Chord) enters playing their instruments. Theme Music for the Fairies. They position themselves on the set – some on the banksia branches, others US or on the swing.
The Fremantle Fairies appear from USR and USL carrying lamps that can be seen glowing in the dark. Fairy lights will twinkle on the balconies now Punch and Judy have exited.
Honeysuckle and Violet appear SR with Woolly SL. Honeysuckle is neurotic and intense and Violet is quick-tempered and excitable. Woolly is the naughtiest of the three, with a well developed sense of fun. He relentlessly teases the girls and will interact with the musicians too. In a sense he is mischievous ‘Puck’ to the more traditional flower fairies in the garden. They are dressed in flowing tulle skirts with gorgeous wings all colour-coded to their banksia role. Woolly will signal his flower features in his head-gear. The girls will have wreaths of flowers in theirs. The stage is in shadow (LFX dappled gobo) but standing to attention at an odd angle, just out of sight we should be able to dimly discern the Little Tin Soldier.
Honeysuckle: (She’s frantic because they’re running late) Violet, come along, quickly. We have dozens more banksia candles to light before the moon rises and we’ve hardly started.
Woolly: Whoo-hoo! I’ve nearly finished this side of the garden – I’m way ahead of you girls.
Honeysuckle: You won’t be for long! There are two of us remember and only one of you!
Woolly: Hasn’t made any difference yet! How many more have you got, ‘Violent’?
Violet: Don’t call me that!
Woolly: (Laughing) Why not? You are sometimes!
Violet: (Glaring at him) Only when you get at me!
Woolly: Race you to the finish - I have one last one to go. (He lights the final one and it glows.)
Honeysuckle: I’ll beat you both! Watch this!
She waves her wand, ‘magic’ sparkles flash in the lights as they fall and the last of the banksias SR light up. She sighs with relief.
Woolly: That’s cheating, Honeysuckle. Anyone could do that!
Violet: (Laughing) Well you didn’t did you??
Woolly: Only because, unlike her, I don’t play dirty!
Honeysuckle: Well, thank goodness that’s all done. I thought we’d never finish on time!
Woolly: You’re so uptight, Honeysuckle. We do this every evening and we always get it done. You just need to chill, and unwind a bit …
Violet: We all need to after that! What’s on the wind tonight? I so don’t want to stay in. Not on a night like this!
Honeysuckle: Well, the Banksia Buskers (she acknowledges their presence) have told me there’s something going on in The High Street at Dame Desdemona’s tonight.
Flute: Yes, they’re putting on a show for Amelia, called “The Adventures of a Little Tin Soldier” – all the toys are involved. And we’re playing for them.
Clari: (Reading from a sheet/pamphlet) “Auditions, 7.00 o’clock sharp in the Dolls House. All welcome! Signed, Dame Desdemona”.
Honeysuckle: Musical Theatre! Oh how exciting. It’s been decades since my last performance – (confidentially to Flute) – I played Titania, you know, in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. Such fun!
Violet: Auditions!.
That’s so cool – I’ve always wanted to act in one of the Dolls House plays. I
wonder if there’d be a part in it for me? (She strikes a dramatic attitude)
Woolly: (Reading over Clari’s shoulder) It says here they want ‘talented’ performers. Mmnn – I have my doubts about your chances!
Violet: You’re so mean to me, Woolly! I’ll show you one day.
Strum: You guys can argue over the auditions, but we, my friends, have to practise!
Chord: Yes, I need to warm up.(Trying the vocal scales, briefly) La la la la!
Mud: (Pained by the quality she produces)That’s why we need to practise, girls. Come along. To the High Street. Follow me!
They pick up their instruments and play themselves offstage to the Banksia/Fairy theme.
Honeysuckle: (Looking USL) Quiet, there’s someone coming. They mustn’t see us here.
They ‘vanish’ behind the banksia screen in a flash as Barnacle the Buccaneer Pie Rat enters, stealthily, accompanied by Swab, his none too bright side-kick carrying a small barrel of ‘rum’. Barnacle’s character gestures to Black Adder and Rowan Atkinson’s interpretation of a devilish dark dealer. Swab owes her role and his characterization to Bubbles from “Absolutely Fabulous”, probably, but she’s the eternal (incompetent) side-kick as old as comedy itself. Oddly loyal, despite the oppression she suffers, but capable of turning on her Master if things no longer serve her very basic needs.
Piratical Music theme announces his entry and SFX seagulls and sounds of the sea – waves crashing set his context for the audience.
Barnacle: Swab, keep a look out for him, he should be here any moment. (Takes out a note exactly like the one we last saw in Punch’s hand). My correspondence – by the extremely unreliable ‘Cormorant Carriers’ (SFX indignant squawk) – states that this very spot is where we should meet. And at sunset on the XX May, which, fortunately for us, is today’s date.
Swab: Yes, Master. (Peers into the distance directly into the audience).
Barnacle: Let me know when you see him, Swab. It’s of the utmost importance. (Looks in an opposite direction.)
Swab: It’s not going to be easy, Master. There’s so many of ‘em.
(Looking out over the audience, a bit gob-smacked)
Barnacle: There’s only ONE Pulcinello, Swab. Keep an eye out now. (Raises his telescope and peers off away from Swab and the audience.)
Swab: (A little overwhelmed at the task before him) Any distinguishing features, Master?
Barnacle: (Still gazing through his telescope, perhaps some business with one of the fairies who remain frozen with the instrument right up to their faces?) Punch, Pulcinello to his friends, has a long nose –
Swab heads towards one of the children
Barnacle: - a brightly coloured costume – hideous!
Swab heads for another
Barnacle: -and is distinguished by a revolting hat that completes his …er .. ‘look’.
Swab gives up and stands next to one of the audience members- preferably a teacher.
Swab: Found him, Master.
Barnacle swirls round, a devious smirk on his face only to see the mistake Swab’s made.
Barnacle: You fool! You nincompoop. That’s not Punch.
Swab: (Whinging) It’s the best I can do, Master – there’s so many of ‘em.
Barnacle: They’re the audience, you idiot. (Shudders) Children! Now get back here! Time’s running out - Captain Courageous will soon notice our long absence from the good ship, “Black Albatross”.
Swab: Yes, you told Cap’n Courageous we’d just re-fill this barrel of rum, grab some ships’ biscuits and be back before sunset. And that’s a big fib, isn’t it, Buccaneer Barnacle. (Shakes his head disapprovingly.)
Barnacle: (Drawn in despite himself) Well, not exactly, Swab. We do have the barrel of rum. (He gestures to the barrel that Swab carried in).
Swab: Well, we can’t get back before sunset now. The sun has already set – look at the stars coming out.
[This may be an opportunity for a very quick descent from the flying tower of the bar with the moon and the stars on it – comic potential to be explored.]
Barnacle: (Annoyed) I’m aware of them, Swab. I don’t need to be reminded. I told him to meet us in the Banksia Garden at sunset and here we are. What’s keeping him?
Swab: Cap’n Courageous will make us walk the plank (she mimes the action) if he misses the tide because of this! We’ll be sent to the bottom of the ocean if we’re not at our positions on the deck of the Black Albatross soon!
Barnacle: Nonsense. Captain Courageous is the most nauseatingly pleasant Buccaneer you’ll ever meet. He’s a complete fool. No idea how to run a Pie Rat ship!
Swab: Well, of all the nasty things to say, Lieutenant Barnacle! And Cap’n Courageous the one who saved you when the “Sulphur” went down to its watery grave with a whole crew of Quokkas.
Barnacle: My point exactly. He’s a complete fool! Now keep a lookout, Swab. We must find Punch!
Punch will appear, suddenly, like a Jack-in-the Box from behind one of the banksias branches. Swab and Barnacle will shriek in unison at this sudden appearance.
Punch: That would be me, Captain Barnacle.
Swab: Where did he come from!? (Looks anxiously round for any others and completely misses the very obvious fairies everywhere.)
Punch: A pleasure to meet you. At last. (He bows obsequiously low before him.)
Barnacle: You startled me, Pulcinello (Barely acknowledging him, bows stiffly, while Swab mimics Punch by almost prostrating himself.) Buccaneer Barnacle’s the name and the pleasure is all mine to be sure. Glad you could make it.
Punch: (Ingratiatingly, too eagerly) I believe you have something for me?
Barnacle: (Giving nothing away) I might have.
Punch: (Looking around over his shoulder, furtively) Well, where is it, Man? I haven’t got all night! I’m due at Dame Desdemona’s and I’m already late! (Aside) If Judy gets wind of this!
Swab: (With the insight of the very young – or very dim!) He’s a Bad Man, Buccaneer Barnacle.
Barnacle: Quiet Swab. (To Punch) Take no notice of him Pulcinello. Now let’s get down to business.
Punch: Yes, and be quick about it. From your letter delivered by “Cormorant Carriers” - a most unreliable company(SFX Squawk) - you say you’ve found a treasure of (reads) “extraordinary value”.
Barnacle: Indeed I have.
Punch: If it’s what I think it is, then I’m willing to pay you handsomely for it! (Aside) Little does he know how valuable it really is!
Swab: (He’s had an insight and is sticking with it) He’s a Bad Man, Buccaneer Barnacle.
Barnacle: QUIET, Swab! (To Punch) To get it off me, Pulcinello, you’ll have to pay, and pay handsomely. It’s worth a Fortune! (Aside) Little does he know I know exactly how valuable it is.
Punch: Then, just to clarify, you confirm, Sir, that it is, as you said, the “Contents of the Flask of Imagination”?
Buccaneer: Landed unexpectedly at my feet on the deck of the “Black Albatross” as we sailed up the Swan River!
Punch: Well then – you shall name your price. That is - if what you have found is indeed the Contents of the Flask of Imagination. But, how can I be sure!
Swab: (He’s had an insight and is sticking with it) He’s a Bad Man, Buccaneer Barnacle.
Barnacle: BE QUIET, Swab. That’s quite enough from you!
There is a rustling in the undergrowth and the Little Tin Soldier appears. He has overheard everything and can no longer stay hidden. He draws his musket and takes aim.
They look at him in astonishment.
Tristan: Yes, you’re right, Swab. He is a Bad Man. And he wants nothing less than to destroy the Imagination.
Punch: You lit-tle sneak. You’ve been there all along! This could ruin everything, Barnacle.
Barnacle: (Circling him) And just who might you be, young Redcoat.
Punch: (Sneering) They call him the Steadfast Tin Soldier. No-one takes any notice of him.
Tristan: (Heroically) Oh, but they will now.(To Barnacle)You must not give it to him! His plan is no less than to banish Childhood forever!
Barnacle: Well, can’t say I have any issue with that! (Dismissively, shuddering) Children. Distract him, Punch!
In unison, the two Villains perform a choreographed deflection, pounce and capture routine and Barnacle and the somewhat reluctant Swab bundle the protesting Tristan off stage at the end.
Punch: You’re our prisoner now, my young hero. (Gives him a clip across the ear). And, what’s more, your foolish heroics have only served to convince me that Buccaneer Barnacle’s treasure is indeed precisely what I’ve been after these last few hours.
Tristan: You’ll never get away with this!
Punch: Leave him with me, Barnacle. I know just where I can keep him locked up.
Barnacle: (Deviously) You do that, Pulcinello, my friend. Meanwhile I – and my dim-witted colleague here – will head off to … er … collect the Contents of the Flask you so eagerly desire.
Tristan: Don’t do it Barnacle!
Barnacle: Gag him, Swab. And you, Pulcinello, bring me the gold. Then we can … er … exchange goods, assuming we reach an agreement on the price.
Tristan: (Struggling against Swab, unsuccessfully in the end. Manages one line before he is silenced with a gag.) Imagination is priceless, Barnacle – can’t you see that?
Punch: They all say that! But (sniggering, aside to the audience) we all know differently, don’t we – everything has a price!
Barnacle: Can’t argue with that, can we, Swab? (Drops a silver coin into Swab’s outstretched hand)
Swab: (Accepting the bribe. He has achieved his ends in gagging Tristan) I never argue. Not with you Sir.
Barnacle: (Regaining control of the scene) Bring that barrel of rum, Swab, and let’s go and collect the “Contents” of the Flask for my good friend, Pulcinello.
Punch: (Aside) Seems very concerned about his rum ration – but I suppose he is a ‘Pie Rat’ after all. (Conspiratorially to Barnacle) Meet me back here in the Banksia Garden at midnight tonight. I must appear at Dame Desdemona’s otherwise Judy will smell a rat – pardon the phrase.
Barnacle: We’ll be there, Punch when the clock strikes 12.00 never you fear.
Punch: (Enjoying the prospect.) The gold – Pantaloon’s gold, to be precise - will be yours, Barnacle, and the Contents of the Flask of Imagination will be mine (laughs wickedly). All mine.
He grabs Tristan roughly and manhandles him out.
Punch: (Sneering) And you, my young hero, will come along with me!
Barnacle: Careful with that barrel, now, Swab. We don’t want to drop it and lose its precious … ‘Contents’ … do we, now? (Laughs evilly)
Punch bundles Tristan off US and exits with him SR. Barnacle and Swab exit SL. Swab collects the barrel of rum and heads off after her Master.
Swab: I think they’re both Bad Men.
The fairies will all emerge from their frozen states and register shock.
Honeysuckle: This is too awful! We must tell the toys what’s happened!
Violet: That horrible Buccaneer Barnacle! What will he do to that poor Little Tin Soldier.
Woolly: Come on girls – we must warn the toys. We’re in this too, you realize. If Punch gets his hands on the Contents of the Flask!
Honeysuckle: We’ll vanish from the world forever … oh no, we must stop him!
They run off US to the Dolls House, frantic with anxiety.
Scene 7: The Tin Soldiers on Parade
This scene takes place in front of the curtain – perhaps with the toy-box as full scale prop to indicate their size.
Music theme for Tin Soldiers – presumably a march. They are a rag-tag group whose abilities as soldiers must be questionable – they are, in fact, the despair of Captain Carbine and Colonel Contentious. Their scenes should generate a level of controlled chaos [see the Policemen in Pirates of Penzance for clues to their qualities]. Dressed in red coats, white pantaloons tucked into their riding boots - with epaulettes and busbies to complete the impression - they should establish their individuality even as their superiors strive to knock them into shape. Their scenes will be ‘knockabout’ ones with their muskets aimed at each other (by mistake), the audience, and even, with dreadful consequences, at Colonel Contentious himself!
LFX lights come up on the apron revealing the soldiers (except for Tristan) led in by Captain Carbine to the marching theme with a military intensity not adhered to by his troops who will start off pretty much in time but then lose interest/ become distracted, and linger behind, chatting.)
Captain Carbine: Atten –tion! (He salutes and turns smartly only to discover Siege, Cannon and Pellet in a huddle, pouring over a fashion plate, DSR.) I said, “Atten-tion!” Troops! What is the meaning of this?
Sergeant Siege: (Exclaiming!) Oh, just look we’ve found, Captain Carbine! It’s the latest edition of the Army Gazette and it has all the latest fashions!
Corporal Cannon: Just look at this jacket!
Private Pellet: I love it! I love it!
Sergeant Siege: And the gold trimmings on that skirt!
Corporal Cannon: Can’t you just see us in this?
They all turn to him, clutching the magazine to their bosoms, appealing to him.
Private Pellet: We’re so due for new uniforms! (Turning to her superior) Captain Carbine.
Sergeant Siege: (Showing him the relevant page) Say you like these, please!
Captain Carbine: I’ll say nothing of the sort! This is a Parade Ground, not a Catwalk! And if you don’t want Colonel Contentious to have you all court-martialed for disobeying orders - (aside) me included – you will put that magazine down and stand, as ordered, to attention! Sergeant Siege, Corporal Cannon, Private Pellet: Atten-tion!
Reluctantly, as he calls their names, they obey. But it’s clear their hearts aren’t in it.
Captain Carbine: (Looking his troops up and down) Heaven help me!
Sergeant Siege: Permission to speak, Sir!
Captain Carbine: (Impatiently) Yes, what is it, Siege?
Sergeant Siege: (Looks at him meaning fully)
Captain Carbine: Well, what is it?
Private Pellet: (Helpfully) You didn’t say “Permission granted” Sir. And you told us we could only speak when …
Captain Carbine: That’s enough, Private. There’s no need to be so literal about things. Sergeant Siege –
Still standing to attention she encourages him visibly to phrase it ‘correctly’
Captain Carbine: Permission granted, you foolish non-commissioned officer! Speak up Sergeant.
Sergeant Siege: (About to speak, she arrests the action and subsides.) I’ve forgotten what it was now, you took too long!
Captain Carbine: (Now, oddly, a stickler for accuracy)“You took too long, Sir!” (Insisting, now on the correct address).
Sergeant Siege: (Indignantly. She’s missed the point) No I didn’t you did!
Captain Carbine: No, I didn’t!
Sergeant Siege: Yes you did!
Captain Carbine: Didn’t
Sergeant Siege: Did!
Captain Carbine: Didn’t! (Pulling himself up just in time as things threaten to spiral out of control) Silence, Sergeant! I will not be diverted.
Corporal Cannon: (Saluting and standing to attention) What she wanted to say, Captain Carbine, Sir (smirks at Siege) was that we’re missing one of our men, Sir!
Captain Carbine: (Surveying his troops, suspiciously). Are we indeed!
Private Pellet: (Saluting Captain Carbine too) Yes, Sir, Captain Carbine, Sir. We’re missing Private Tristan, Sir!
Sergeant Siege: We think he’s gone AWOL, Sir.
Private Pellet: (Helpfully) That means “Absent With Out Leave”.
Captain Carbine: I know what it means, Private! That’s all I need with Colonel Contentious about to arrive to inspect us! We shall have to find him immediately and postpone Musket Drill till we’ve done so.
Corporal Cannon: (Excitedly) Oh, goodie! I HATE musket drill. I never know when to “prime’ and when to “load” –
Private Pellet: Or even what that means! (Waving her pistol about.)
Sergeant Siege: Careful, Private, we haven’t been asked to “present arms” yet. You’ll blow our heads off with that!
Captain Carbine: (Flustered and thoroughly annoyed now) Toy Soldiers! Atten – tion!
They sidle into position next to each other, appropriately standing to attention. (This includes Captain Carbine who jumps into position on his own command.) A bugle announces the imminent arrival of Colonel Contentious.
Corporal Cannon: (Sounding the alarm) Eyes right! It’s the Cavalry! Colonel Contentious, advancing at speed, Sir!
As they’ve been arguing, the others become aware of a ‘formidable’ presence in the form of Colonel Contentious who will enter wildly– on hobby-horseback accompanied by his long-suffering batman, Brown Bess - from the SM area. (SFX charging - horses hooves.) The highest ranking officer in the Toy Army, he exerts his authority whenever he can, especially over Captain Carbine, whom he takes every opportunity to harass. He should be dressed as the others but with far more gold braid everywhere. He will sport impressive side-burns and an enormous Victorian ‘handle-bar’ moustache. His precursors are the Commedia dell’Arte’s Il Capitano, and he is accordingly a buffoon, arrogant and cowardly by turns. The ‘girls’ will discover they can use his vanity to further their own ends with regard to military fashion – but that’s in another scene!
Captain Carbine is in awe of him; his troops less so, but to varying degrees.
Colonel Contentious: (Dismounting, handing over the reins to Brown Bess who will struggle just a little to control two mounts. SFX horses’ hooves) At ease, Lieutenant. At ease, troops. (Inspecting them, starting with Travis) Mmmnn. What have we here, Captain Carbine? Your epaulette’s quite skew. (He adjusts it).
Captain Carbine: (Saluting) All present and correct, Colonel Contentious, SIR!
Corporal Cannon: (Wide-eyed, looking straight ahead) That’s not strictly true, Sir!
Private Pellet: (Innocently) We’re not all present!
Captain Carbine: (Aside in a stage whisper to his foolish troops) Quiet! Do you want to get us ALL court-martialed!?
Colonel Contentious is busy adjusting his monocle, his saber and his wig all of which will have come slightly adrift during the charge in. Brown Bess is adjusting his attire for him.
Sergeant Siege: (Breaking rank, enthusiastically, in a well-judged attempt to deflect attention) Ooh! Doesn’t that coat fit you well, Colonel. Such fine shoulders, Sir.
Colonel Contentious is not immune to flattery – in fact personal vanity is his besetting sin – and he will always be easily distracted by positive comments about his appearance.
Colonel Contentious: (Looking her over) Mmnn, Captain. You seem to have a very perceptive young person in Sergeant Siege. (Confidentially to Siege) Only ever use the very best fabric ‘Apparition’ can provide. Only the best for the best.
Sergeant Siege: (Grovelling) I can see that, Sir!
Colonel Contentious: So insightful. So perceptive. (Tearing himself away and addressing the issue at hand).Well, Captain Carbine, I am here for two reasons. The first is to inspect the troops and the second … (to Brown Bess) now what is the second reason, Man, it was something important!
Brown Bess: (In a monotone a la Baldrick) The second reason, oh wondrous and heroic Leader of Us All, is that your spies, the ‘Seagull Scouts’, are warning that the Colony is about to be invaded – yet again – by vicious Pie Rats. Their vessel, the “Black Albatross”, anchored off Fremantle on the Swan River, was spotted earlier today and you suspect they’re up to something.
Colonel Contentious: (Turning to Captain Carbine) Exactly!
Brown Bess: (Continuing in the same manner) And you’ve come at speed-
Colonel Contentious: (Agreeing) Yes, at speed …
Brown Bess: - to rally the troops!
Colonel Contentious: That’s, right, to rally the troops –
Brown Bess: And lead them into battle in the name of her Majesty, the Queen!
Colonel Contentious: That’s right. Just as he says. (Gathering his thoughts a bit) I’m here to lead you all into Battle!
Captain Carbine: (Eagerly) Well, Colonel Contentious, Sir. The Tin Soldiers are ready for anything!
Private Pellet: (To Corporal Cannon, doubtfully) Not really. I don’t feel ready.
Captain Carbine: (Bellowing) For anything, Private!
Pellet and Cannon: (Together) If you say so, Sir!
Captain Carbine: (Sword to his chest, heroically) I do say so. Indeed I do. If it’s a battle that’s planned –
Sergeant Siege: - doesn’t seem to be anything else!
Captain Carbine: Then, we’re your men.
Colonel Contentious: (Looks at the soldiers before him a little doubtfully – their gender in question.) Well that’s decided then. It was easier than I thought. Bess, my steed! Captain, get your men ready.
Captain Carbine: (Complying) Troops! Atten-tion!
They shuffle into the semblance of a line and stand to attention. Colonel Contentious walks past them by way of a quick inspection (Marching Music accompanies him) more concerned about the fall of his frilly cuffs, his braid and/or his wig/monocle than the troops to his ‘horse’ held ready by Brown Bess.
Colonel Contentious: To the Swan River Colony, then. (They all start marching very noisily) (In a very loud voice) Quietly!!! (In a dramatic stage whisper)They must not know we’re coming.
Looks at Brown Bess who gives the order rather like a question than a command, but it’s enough to set them all off.
Brown Bess: Charge?
Colonel Contentious: Follow me!
They tiptoe out their muskets to the fore in somewhat motley formation, with Brown Bess bringing up the rear, weighed down by baggage comprised largely of the silks, velvets and gold braid that make up his master’s wardrobe.
Private Pellet: I hope nothing’s happened to young Tristan. (Confidentially to Brown Bess) He’s gone AWOL you see.
Brown Bess: Absent With Out Leave! The Colonel won’t be too happy about that.
Pellet assists him with his load and they exit. SR
Scene 8: Another Part of the Attic
Music theme for the Muses.
Amelia appears on the balcony SR as the Banksia Buskers enter on the Apron DSL
Amelia: (Clutching her doll and peering at the stage) Let’s watch from up here, Columbine. They’ve all got their scripts and I’ve set everything up for Dame Desdemona’s audition. I’m so excited! (She places her doll deliberately in a position that will be mirrored by Columbine on the set.) I wonder what part you’ll get. (To the audience) It’s the story of “The Little Tin Soldier”. Just watch … everyone in my Dolls’ House is ready! Look, there come the Banksia Buskers!
SFX an old-fashioned drawing room clock chimes the hour (7 o’clock) as the Victorian Dolls’ House theme music plays. The Banksia Buskers will take up their positions on the front of the stage, in front of the Black Curtain, as if for a chamber concert and will accompany the performers – especially the singers – as they audition.!
Mud: (Tuning his instrument) Now let’s not mess this up – it’s a chance for us to make a huge impression.
Clari: (Shaking out the reed) That means you, Strum, and you, Flute must improve your sight-reading.
Flute: (Indignantly) I beg your pardon, Clari. I’m not the one who’ll be distracted tonight!
Clari: Excuse me! What do you mean by that?
Strum: (Strumming – or picking - her guitar dramatically) “Generalissimo Fantastico”
Chord joins in, melodically with her and Flute provides the third part of the harmony.
Together: “Generalissimo Fantastico”
Clari: (Picking up her music and about to flounce off) That is SO not funny!
Mud: Ladies! Ladies! Calm yourselves. We’re an ensemble remember – all for one and one for all!
Flute, Strum and Chord give each other significant looks, barely able to stifle their laughter.
Flute: But he is “fantastico” don’t you think?
Clari: (Forgetting herself, briefly) Oh, YES!
Together: (Singing softly as they seat themselves in readiness and pick up their instruments) “Generalissimo Fantastico”.
Mud: Quiet! They’re ready to begin.
Music cue should allow for the curtain to rise and the reveal should establish the splendour of the fully realized set.
Scene 9: The Victorian Dolls’ House Auditions
The curtain flies to reveal the full set with the the High Street dolls positioned in each of the rooms, dimly lit. Madam Butterfly is upstairs SR; Dame Desdemona is upstairs SL. Downstairs SR is Generalissimo Fantastico, and SL Signorita Tapasita. They are each preparing for the auditions so over their theme music will sound a cacophony of vocal and other warm-ups. The competition among them is stiff (and the shifting alliances between them, at times, alarming!)
LFX Lights up on each of the dolls as they speak from their rooms in the Dolls’ House.
Generalissimo: (To Signorita Tapasita next door) Signorita! Signorita! Are you nearly ready.
Signorita: I have been ready for ages, Generalissimo. But my mantilla needs adjustment. (Coyly) Would you …?
He treads a little way up the stairs in order to respond to her request and delicately adjusts the comb holding her head-dress in place.
Generalissimo: But of course, Beautiful Lady. It is my pleasure to serve you.
Signorita: (Tapping him playfully on the hand with her fan) Ah, Generalissimo – you are so … how you say, “gallant”.
Generalissimo: (Bowing over her hand much to the chagrin of Clari in the orchestra) But what else when one is asked by someone as charming as you, Signorita.
Signorita: (Titters and covers her face with her fan.) Oh, you are naughty man, Generalissimo.
Upstairs there is movement as first Madam Butterfly and then Dame Desdemona apply the finishing touches to their elaborate costumes.
Madam Butterfly: Desdemona, are you ready? We haven’t got all evening, dear.
Desdemona: Indeed, Madam, I am aware of that. (Fibbing as she puts the finishing touches to her head-gear) I’ve been ready this half hour and more.
Butterfly: Well, then, we shall descend the stairs together and greet our guests. Come along, dear.
They appear, fully lit (LFX candle-light) in their rooms before embarking on the descent of the stairs.
Generalissimo: Ah, lovely ladies (mops his brow with a large white, lace handkerchief) what a splendid sight you make!
Signorita: (Less enthusiastically) Yes, quite a sight!
Madam Butterfly and Dame Desdemona will have a ‘moment’ on the stairs as each strives to upstage the other in making a Grande Entrance. In this instance Dame Desdemona wins out, leaving Madam Butterfly to stumble crossly after her in her wake. They take up positions as the Generalissimo claps his hands for attention. Signorita Tapasita waves her fan and steps daintily into a position on the lower stairs.
Music: Duet between Madame Butterfly and Dame Desdemona. Generalissimo Fantastico can join in.
As it is sung, the Commedia characters – Columbine and Pierrette - tumble on stage, followed by Pantaloon, and just behind him, Harlequin. They begin stretching, bending and generally warming up or reading their scripts. Judy hurries in a little later, without her husband. She is clearly annoyed. Only Punch is unaccounted for.
The music finishes and Madam Butterfly calls everyone to order.
Madam Butterfly: (Snapping her fan closed.) Positions please! That’s quite enough chattering everyone. Dame Desdemona (gestures toward her) is about to begin the proceedings.
Desdemona: (Irritated by her companion’s bossiness) Thank you, Madam Butterfly, I shall take it from here.
Generalissimo: (Interrupting her.) Ladies and Gentlemen. On behalf of the porcelain dolls –
Madam Butterfly: (Magnanimously) Usually we’re for ‘display purposes’ only!
Desdemona: Let him finish, Madam!
Generalissimo: On behalf of the porcelain dolls, welcome, to our auditions.
The Commedia characters are variously positioned on the stage with Pierrette always apart, watchfully observing the revels. Judy has given up on Punch and is beginning to enjoy herself. She is being watched – lustfully – by Pantaloon but is trying to ignore his advances. Harlequin could be juggling or playing cup-and-ball (a favourite Victorian children’s game) but he and Columbine should try to make eye-contact despite the watchful gaze of her miserly father.
Desdemona: (At first disconcerted at the numbers in her drawing room.) Why, there are a lot of you! (Recovers herself). Nevertheless, I welcome you all to our humble abode (Smiles graciously upon them)
Judy: (Sensing a rival for the stellar role she desires, aside to Pantaloon) Gives herself airs and graces that one! ‘Humble’ indeed.
Pantaloon leans towards her lecherously but is controlled by her slapstick-fan. He subsides.
Desdemona: Who would have thought that here, in this outpost of the Empire, such a distinguished group could be found.
Butterfly: (Not to be outdone) Such fine singers! La lala lala (She coyly bows signifying the Generalissimo!)
Signorita: (Asserting herself) Such fine dancers! (She briefly clicks her castanets)
Generalissimo: (Noticing Columbine for the first time.) Ah, yes, the finest dancer of them all. Welcome, Bella. (He moves over to her quickly and bows, characteristically, over her hand. Several heads will follow this action – Butterfly, Clari and Tapasita’s among them)
At this point, Columbine will have a ‘dance’ choreographed to the Commedia music and will be joined at the end by Signorita Tapasita.
All the toys will cheer them on.
Desdemona: That was lovely, dear. But let’s do things in an orderly manner.(Trying to get their attention once more.) Now, everyone has a script – if not, Madam Butterfly has one for you. I would like to begin with the singing auditions first. (To the musicians) Are you ready, Mud?
Mud: Yes, Dame Desdemona. (To his orchestra) Ready, Buskers?
Together: Yes, Mud! (They put their instruments to their lips)
Desdemona: Right. Then we shall start with the duet between the Jack-in-the-Box –
The Generalissimo steps forward and Clari will rise from her spot and blow an excited trill on her clarinet. The others will pull her back down or signal her to control herself.
Judy: Well, that’s Punch’s opportunity for a part lost!
Desdemona: (Smiling at the Generalissimo) Love –ly! Between the Jack-in-the-Box and the Ballerina.
Signorita Tapasita makes a bold but unsuccessful attempt to get there ahead of Madam Butterfly
She will then move over to one side, her fan and/or castanets registering the annoyance she feels.
Desdemona: That’s love-ly! Now (to the musicians) on the count of three, musicians, let’s begin: one, two three
Music signals the singing auditions and Madam Butterfly begins, accompanied by the Generalissimo, a duet.
Things go well for a few lines but then they falter and stutter into silence. The Banksia Buskers stare at their instruments too.
Butterfly: (Horrified) My voice, Fantastico. What is happening?
Generalissimo: (Distressed) I have no idea. (Coughs, embarrassed.)It has never happened before.
Desdemona: (Looking in alarm at her script) What’s this? The words are fading from the page. Judy, show me yours! (She clutches at Judy’s page)
Judy: I can’t see the lines? They’re vanishing! Oh, no! I can’t even remember the character I was playing.
The musicians valiantly try to strike up a tune again and – briefly – Columbine and Signorita Tapasita find their rhythm, only to subside in ungainly, inelegant movements as the music dies.
[This will need choreographing as the toys move from ‘animated’ back to their doll-like state.]
Columbine: (Appalled) What’s happening to us? Why can’t we dance anymore?
Signorita: (As if in a trance, experiencing a vision) It’s happened before, I feel it! But the cause … the cause… (The toys gather round her, anxiety on their faces.
Generalissimo: What is it, Signorita? What is it that you see?
SFX captures the séance-like moment – perhaps in a dance?
Signorita: I see a dark shape –
Everyone: (Encouraging her, urgently) “A dark shape” –
Signorita: No, wait there is more than one!
Generalissimo: What is it? What is it, Signorita?
She is about to recall it when there is an interruption on the second floor of the Dolls House.
Signorita: (Breaking from her trance-like state)Oh, no! It eez fading!It eez gone! I’ve lost it completely, the Vision. Now we’ll never know.
The toys all groan in unison.
Honeysuckle appears upstairs in the Victorian Dolls’ house – she has flown through the window and is followed by first Violet and then Woolly. They are big with their news.
Honeysuckle: Oh, yes you will. Because we heard everything!
Violet: They had no idea we were there but we saw them – we saw
everything!
Desdemona: Who did you see, Honeysuckle? Speak up, girl (she pronounces it ‘gel’), who was it?
Madam Butterfly: What’s happening? What’s going on?
Woolly: They’ve captured Tristan, the Little Tin Soldier, and they’re holding him prisoner.
Honeysuckle: Because they’ve discovered the Contents of the Flask!
Dawning on them – it’s a threat faced by every generation as Signorita Tapasita’s prophetic vision would have revealed.
Signorita: It eez what I most feared!! A Villain has discovered the Contents of -
Together: (Horrified) The Flask of Imagination!
LFX shadows grow as the lights dim. The limelight is fading as we become aware of Amelia, life-size, peeping in through the window of the Victorian Dolls’ house [or, if this can’t happen technically, LFX lights up on her on the balcony, SR.]
Punch appears like a Jack-in-the Box on the balcony SL, with Tristan - clearly bound and struggling against his constraints – his prisoner.
Punch: (Laughing wickedly in triumph) You’re too late. It’s started and there’s no going back now!
Judy: I knew it! In my bones I knew he was up to something!
Pierrette runs DS to try and reach up to Amelia, but she moves away and as she does so all the dolls begin to ‘wind down’, stiffly before they go completely still. Columbine tries a few brief steps with Pierrette, who takes her hand but falters and reverts to her rag doll state.
Desdemona: (In a stilted voice) A Tea Party. We shall have a tea party. All welcome. (Drifts into a stiff silence)
Tristan: No! You won’t Dame Desdemona. I know this story and this is not how it ends. You will be defeated, Pulcinello. (To Columbine) I won’t let him do this, Columbine. You shall dance again. And (to the other toys slowly losing their vitality) you will sing and laugh and act in Amelia’s play. You will!
Punch: (Triumphantly) It is too late already. Look at her! Amelia’s forgetting about you. She doesn’t care anymore! I’m winning this battle. Childhood shall be no more!
Tristan turns to Amelia and appeals directly to her.
Tristan: Don’t let him do this, Amelia. We can’t let him win. If he does, we’ll all end up like … (he looks at his beloved) … like Columbine – and the rest of the toys.
Lights dim, the curtain falls, the music suggests the crisis being faced. Punch laughs wickedly at his ‘achievement’ and the lights go down on the balconies as the music finishes.
Fade to Black
Lights up in the Auditorium.
Go to... Act Two
Back to... Week Eight 2009
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This page last updated: 12th April 2009