Children's Theatre: Snottygobbles Script
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The Secret of the Snottygobbles: A Fairy Story
Act 2
Music FX sets the tone for Caballus’ world.
Scene 10
In front of the Blacks. A dungeon in Caballus’s castle. Enter Caballus, the Goblin King followed by his side-kick, Gallen, a cousin of the Snottygobbles, prone to giving indiscreet sniffs from time to time, revealing his relationship and infuriating his Master. He is, effectively, the weak link in a tribe, which is devoted to their evil leader.
SFX Thunder and LFX Lightning
CABALLUS: (Laughs evilly) It’s working, Gallen, my wonderful plan is working. Oh how I love being evil!
GALLEN: (Slightly bored – this is something he’s heard over and over for thousands of years.) Yes, my Lord, so you’ve said. Often.
CABALLUS: (In ringing tones) This time he will not defeat me because I have been cunning as a fox. Oh how I love being cunning!
GALLEN: You’ve said, that too, my Lord. A lot.
CABALLUS: (Relishing it) Oberon, King of the Fairies, I have you now! Oh, how I love being nasty. (Laughs evilly again).
GALLEN: I know. You’ve said so. Pretty much every day for centuries (Sniff. Before he realizes what he’s doing, he sniffs like a Snottygobble)
CABALLUS: (Whipping round.) What – was - that?
GALLEN: A sniff, Sire, I couldn’t help myself.
CABALLUS: Well, don’t do it again! I cannot stand to hear it. (Shudders) It reminds me of a past I’d sooner forget!
GALLEN: (Aside) He has (looks over his shoulder) ‘issues’ I’m afraid. But I’d better be careful. I don’t want him turning on me! He has a dreadful temper. Totally unpredictable.
CABALLUS: With the vapours from this poisonous plant you brought me (he sniffs the purple flower he is carrying) I have set them against each other. Sniggers nastily. Ah, Gallen, the delight of it! Thanks to my poisonous magic, Oberon King of the Fairies and Titania, his loving Queen, grow apart, and as they do, their magic dies. Together they are all powerful, apart they are NOTHING!
Laughs horribly.
GALLEN: Well, it’s not quite over yet, Sire. Titania may yet heal the rift you’ve caused between her and Oberon. She’s invited all of Fairyland to the Enchanted Wood for a midsummer night celebration. And you know what will happen if this works, and they get back together –
CABALLUS: Don’t even think of it! I haven’t schemed and plotted like the deadly villain I am for it all to come to NOTHING! I want this plan to work, Gallen, and what I want, my idiotic slave, I get!
Gudrun, Queen of the Goblins, enters. She will be dramatic and imposing, but with definite goblin-esque qualities: hair, make-up etc. and costume wild, suggestive of her links to the “Dark Side”
GUDRUN: Your warriors have returned, my Lord. And they’ve brought a prisoner with them. (She relishes this).
CABALLUS: (Swirling round eagerly). They’ve got one – a Snottygobble?
GUDRUN: (A little taken aback) Well, no, Sire, but they have brought us a captive! It’s been a while …. (wistfully)
GALLEN: (Aside to the audience). He’s not going to like this!
CABALLUS: (In commanding tones) Bring forth the prisoner!
His Goblin Guards, Grot and Grime, enter with Bluey clumsily constrained with ‘fly-paper’.
GROT: (Trying to push Bluey to the floor.) On your knees in the presence of Caballus, King of the Goblins.
GRIME: (Struggling likewise) Yes, get down before his majesty Caballus!
BLUEY: (Bravely in the face of this oppression) A dinky-di Aussie kneels to no one, Mate, not even your Bunyip, over there!
CABALLUS: (Getting distracted for a moment). What did you call me? Did you call me a Bunyip!? How dare you!
BLUEY: Well, I do dare, Mate, and if you don’t call these bogans off me, your dipsticks here will pay for this! (Struggles with his bonds).
GROT: (Holding tightly to him with Grime doing the same) He was with the Snottygobbles, Sire – he knows where they are!
GRIME: But he won’t tell us, Sire!
CABALLUS: (Menacingly) We’ll see about that!
GUDRUN: (Aside) How heroic he is! How brave! I like that in a Fly.
CABALLUS: Take him to the Dungeon! He’ll talk by the time I’ve finished with him. (Laughs, evilly)
GALLEN: I’m sure he will, Sire. (He looks at Bluey meaningfully) It would be better for you if you did, my friend.
BLUEY: Zzzz. I’ll never betray them! Never! Zzz
Grime and Grot exit with Bluey in tow. They continue to struggle with him
CABALLUS: We’ll see about that! I must have word of the Snottygobbles. (Aside) They and they alone can ruin my wicked plan!
GUDRUN: (Calling after them) Don’t be too rough with him! (A little conscience-stricken) I mean … leave him to me!
CABALLUS: (To Gallen) You must get back to the Enchanted Garden! Watch, observe…how my brilliant – and evil – (laughs unpleasantly) plan is working!
GALLEN: Yes, Master.
CABALLUS: Come, Queen Gudrun, we must prepare ourselves. It is midsummer night soon and I want to celebrate my imminent victory over those (sneers at the prospect) goody-goody fairies ! I, Caballus, Goblin King will soon be Ruler of the Earth and Sky – oh, how evil I am!
GALLEN: Yes, Sire, so you’ve just said.
Caballus sweeps off with Gudrun on his arm, followed by Gallen, sniffing like a Snottygobble.
Lights dim. Music SFX for the Enchanted Garden.
Scene 11
As the curtain flies, we see the Enchanted Garden for the first time. The Toadstool is positioned CS and Petunia is inside. The Flower Fairies, Cobweb, Moth and Mustard Seed enter from USL and R as well as DSR, through the ‘mist’ as it swirls across the stage, calling to each other (apparently unable to see each other for the moment.) They are all very concerned because the war between their Master and Mistress is dimming the lights in the flowers of the Enchanted Garden, too, and they know that if Caballus wins, magic will disappear from the world forever. Pease Blossom enters a little later, slightly out of breath. She is like one of the Fairy Godmothers from Disney’s “Cinderella”, and with Petunia, older and wiser than the others.
COBWEB: (Calling out) Sisters, are you there?
MUSTARD SEED: Here, Cobweb, I’m here!
COBWEB: Moth, Pease Blossom, where are you?
MOTH: Here, Sister, I’m here.
PEASE BLOSSOM: (Slightly out of breath) Me, too! And I’m not sure how this will help! (She sits on a small toadstool, mopping her brow.)
COBWEB: (Knocking on the Toadstool door) Petunia, Petunia, are you there? Oh, do open up, quickly!
PETUNIA: (Peeping out through the window) What is it, my dears? What’s the matter?
COBWEB: I’ve asked Odin, from the Court of the Fairy King to join us. He’ll be here in a minute. (Earnestly.)We must talk. Something must be done! It’s the worst it’s ever been.
PETUNIA: (Joining them. She’s a bit scatter-brained, but sincere.) Very well, dear, I’m coming.
Moth and Mustard Seed are intrigued – and a bit distracted – by the Toadstool house. They peep in briefly before shutting the door and joining the others.
COBWEB: I’ve never seen Titania quite like this! She’s never been so angry before.
PEASE BLOSSOM: It’s Caballus, again, I fear. Nasty creature!
PETUNIA: I know, I know … but what can we do?
MOTH: We’re just servants, Cobweb!
MUSTARD SEED: And she never listens to us!
COBWEB: That’s why I’ve asked Odin to join us – perhaps if we talk to him, he might have a suggestion about what to do!
PETUNIA: (Musing) Mmm – our people talk to his people…!
COBWEB: It can’t do any harm. But we haven’t much time! Tonight at midnight is the deadline! If his magic lasts beyond midnight on Midsummer Eve …If Caballus wins …
MOTH and MUSTARD SEED: (In despair)…all the magic in the world will die!
PEASE BLOSSOM: I can’t bear to think of it!
Sound of an approach as Odin enters, looking over his shoulder, hurriedly.
ODIN: I came as quickly as I could, Cobweb! Oberon, my Master, is in a foul mood again, and I dare not stay long. Good day to you Madam … Madam (he acknowledges the two older Fairies politely). You’re here too, Moth, Mustard Seed. Hello.
LFX the lights dim and glow, dim and glow.
PEASE BLOSSOM: There they go again!
PETUNIA: That’s them arguing again! It’s a dreadful business!
COBWEB: I’ve never known it this bad before! (To Odin) Tell us, friend, is there anything we can do?
ODIN: Well, there just may be some hope for us! (He takes out a fairy mobile –i.e. a very glittery, silvery one) I had an SMS from Pingle, the Bush Fairy in Western Australia, and she says – hang on – let me read this: she says that the Australian Fairies and Papa Gorgonzola are heading here for the Command Performance.
As he reads Moth and Mustard Seed hear someone coming and run US to keep a look out.
COBWEB: Reinforcements! Oh, that’s wonderful. Surely together we can come up with a plan to solve this.
MOTH: Quick, it’s Titania –
MUSTARD SEED: – and Oberon.
PETUNIA: That’s them alright, they’re coming this way.
COBWEB: They’d better not find us here – they’ll be furious! Fairies away!
They exit DSR in a hurry.
ODIN: Farewell for now!
He exits DSL in a hurry.
Pease Blossom starts to leave, but instead follows Petunia back into her Toadstool. The light inside goes off.
Raised voices can be heard from off-stage. Titania enters first, in a rage, followed by Oberon, equally angry! The LFX should frame their performance with perhaps a glow and then a reduction to a state that is maintained until they leave. As the scene ends, Caballus and Gudrun are visible on the balcony SL observing and enjoying the friction they have caused.
TITANIA: (Passionately) I don’t care what you say, Oberon. I am not going to cancel my party tonight.
OBERON: Titania, listen to me!
TITANIA: (Wheeling on him so that he stops in his tracks) LISTEN to you! Listen to you! That’s what I’ve been doing for thousands of years, but not anymore – oh no, not any more!
OBERON: We cannot have a celebration with all of Fairy Land invited while you and I have so much to discuss.
TITANIA: (Shaking her head) There’s nothing to discuss, Oberon. I’ve sent off the invitations and I’m having my party. (She stamps her foot and folds her arms petulantly.)
OBERON: (Clenching his fists) This is so like you, Titania. Be reasonable!
TITANIA: I am being reasonable!
OBERON: You’re not!
TITANIA: I am – so!
OBERON: You’re not!
They’re aware that this is childish but each remains adamant.
OBERON: I’ve had enough Titania! Cancel this Celebration tonight or there’ll be trouble!
TITANIA: I will not cancel it, Oberon, and it’s no use commanding me to! I have the most beautiful gown to wear and my fairies are preparing everything for a night under the stars.
OBERON: (Muttering) And most of my staff are on holiday. Where’s Puck when you need him, I ask you! Even Muck would do, but all me goblins are on leave!
TITANIA: And because you’re so mean, I’m dis-inviting you from my party. So don’t try to spoil things!
She runs off before he can answer.
OBERON: I don’t believe this! How dare she speak to me like that! Don’t try to hide from me Titania, I’ll find you wherever you are.
He storms off after her. Puck and Cucurucu are visible on the balcony SR. They should be wearing a suggestion of camouflage gear (helmet, jacket, twigs, etc) and both have binoculars as they’re on the lookout/patrol. They see and hear Caballus and the ensuing exchange between him and Gudrun.
CABALLUS: (Laughing evilly) Ah, the magic’s working brilliantly. Soon they will be driven apart forever, and the power of Darkness will prevail.
GUDRUN: And we’ll rule the world together!
CABALLUS: (This makes him think for a minute) Possibly.
GUDRUN: (She’s taken aback at this new reaction) You mean, ‘certainly’!
CABALLUS: (Aside) Do I want to share this power? I’m not too sure. (He looks her up and down) Let’s not be too hasty, my dear. (Turns away abruptly, dramatically) Come away Gudrun! We must follow our victims and watch how these events, which I have manipulated, unfold. How I love being manipulative!
He stalks off, laughing, leaving Gunda very disturbed by what he has said.
GUDRUN: I don’t trust him! I know how he thinks and I’ll bet his plan doesn’t include me. Well, Caballus, two can play at this game of yours! Let’s see what it feels like to be betrayed.
She laughs nastily and follows in his footsteps.
Puck: Well, that was most interesting, wasn’t it?
He slides down the rope followed by Cucurucu.
Cucurucu: My turn. Look out below. (He speaks as he clambers down. He must be much more adroit at it than Puck and as a result more of a show-off about his capacity as a trapeze artist) Is this a chink in their armour? Is this a way to stop Caballus? Queen Gudrun is very definitely offside.
They move CS toward the Toadstool.
PUCK: Here’s Petunia’s Toadstool house – I wonder if she’s in and whether she knows what’s going on here.
CUCURUCU: It’s oddly quiet, don’t you think?
Puck knocks on the Toadstool’s door. A shriek or two from inside.
PUCK: It’s only me, Petunia, Puck – and Cucurucu, the Trapeze Artist.
Petunia emerges, a little flustered. Pease Blossom peeps through the window.
PETUNIA: It IS you! (Hugging Puck). You’re back! Oh, how pleased I am. Pease Blossom! Pease Blossom! It’s Puck. We thought it was that villainous Caballus.
Pease Blossom scrambles out and hugs first Puck as Cucurucu retreats to avoid a similar fate.
PEASE BLOSSOM: Thank goodness! Perhaps you can talk some sense into them.
PUCK: Well, my holiday’s been cut short, but it’s all in a good cause! We’re expecting the Bush Fairies of Perth any minute –
CUCURUCU: Cucurucu at you service! (Bows low) And Papa Gorgonzola and his troupe, too. Come to perform for Titania and Oberon at the Midsummer Night celebration in the Enchanted Garden. But first –
PUCK: We have a plan …
PEASE BLOSSOM: Do you?
CUCURUCU: (Dramatically) Could you doubt it, Madam?
PETUNIA: You know how to break Caballus’ spell?
CUCURUCU: We shall defeat the Evil One in a Great Battle –
PUCK: Our reinforcements arrive at any moment – in fact, listen!
The Circus theme is heard faintly, getting louder.
CUCURUCU: (With an agile leap to the rope, swinging across the stage, dropping off and heading US.) The circus is in town!
PETUNIA: Oh what a relief! We must find Cobweb and the others. Come on everyone.
They all head off USL to the sound of the music. Petunia doubles back though to turn off the light?
The Blacks fly in.
Scene 12
Snottygobbles stomp onstage to the marines’ marching sound. Together they sing:
I don’t know what I’ve been told,
(I don’t know what I’ve been told)
Snottygobbles have hearts of gold
(Snottygobbles have hearts of gold)
Hearts of –
(Hearts of –)
Hearts of gold
(Hearts of gold)
They perform their tap/boot dance at the end of which Muck enters DSR, leading Pingle, while Mallee and Mouse Ears enter through the auditorium. They clap, leading the audience on, as they enter.
PINGLE: There you are! That was wonderful! (To Muck) Thank you for bringing us to them. You’re a star!
MUCK: (A bit shyly) No worries.
PINGLE: (To the Snottygobbles) We wondered where you’d got to!
SARKI: (A little tensely. He doesn’t know where it’s going).Snottygobbles! At ease.
They all sniff loudly, make lots of slurping noises and relax an arm’s length shuffle from each other.
MALLEE: Thank goodness we found you!
MOUSE EARS: We’d nearly given up.
PINGLE: And it’s very important!
SYNAN: (Peering myopically up at Pingle, then turning to her companions.) They want something from us, Snottygobbles. I can feel it in my bones.
SEDANA: (Sniffs.) No one ever speaks to us unless they want something.
SELMA: Too true, Snottygobbles, too true!
SARAMA: Lizzie and Bizzie never want to play with me – they … they don’t like me! And even Louisa sides with them against me! (She bursts into tears and is comforted by Sedana who produces a large handkerchief into which a great deal of blowing takes place.)
Moved by all this emotion, the others, including Sarki, take out large spotted handkerchiefs and do likewise. A symphony of blowing ensues and the Fairies will try not to exhibit too much revulsion.
PINGLE: Well, this is really difficult, I know but we all need your help, now, and we’re depending on you! Caballus is determined to cover the world in Darkness!
MALLEE: If you don’t help us, our lovely Banksia Forest –
MOUSE EARS: – and the Enchanted Garden –
PINGLE: Are doomed! And you can help us, you know.
They sniff together and do a tap move as if to retreat.
MALLEE: Please. Oh, please don’t go.
MOUSE EARS: Tell us what you know.
PINGLE: We really need your help.
SARKI: Snottygobbles! Gather round.
SELMA: (To the others as they gather round in a scrum) We know the secret!
SYNAN: We know his weakness, true, but what if he wins the battle. Then where would we be?
SEDANA: Would we really be worse off than we are now. (Sniff) Let’s join forces with the Bush Fairies and defeat Caballus!
SARAMA: And show everyone that we’re as good as they are. That we’re not just ‘gross’, smelly, yucky creatures.
SARKI: (With a large slurping snort) Snottygobbles! It’s agreed. We’ll fly with the Bush Fairies to the Enchanted Garden to do battle (sniff) once again. Good versus Evil.
They all put their hands together, give a mighty sniff and then turn to face the Fairies.
SELMA: You will learn –
SEDAMA: When the time is right –
SYNAN: What no one has ever been told –
SARAMA: (sniffs excitedly) Ooh! I can’t wait to tell everyone –
SARKI: (very firmly, demanding their obedience) Only at my command will it be revealed –
TOGETHER: The Secret of the Snottygobbles! (Sniff, slurp)
Music FX as the lights go down on the apron.
PINGLE: Come! We haven’t a moment to lose! We must catch the wind if we’re to get there in time.
The Snottygobbles tap dance quietly as the lights dim.
MALLEE: Let’s fly, Pingle, Mouse Ears, Muck –
MOUSE EARS: Follow us, Snottygobbles – to the Enchanted Garden!
SFX Fairy theme is heard. They exit DSR with the Snottygobbles following, trying – unsuccessfully – to be dainty in imitation of the Fairies.
Scene 13
Music SFX: Circus theme. The blacks are flown to reveal another part of the Enchanted Garden. It’s getting dark. The Circus wagon (possibly minus the tent poles) is positioned USR. Harlequin and Pierrot unpacking (and practicing on) some of the equipment: juggling balls, spinning plates, etc.
Columbine moves DSL.
HARLEQUIN: (spinning a plate adroitly) Papa Gorgonzola will be here any moment now, we’d better make sure that we’re ready!
PIERROT: (dropping one of the juggling balls) These won’t be of any use, Harlequin. We’ll have to juggle SWORDS not scarves if we’re heading into battle!
COLUMBINE: (Aside, dramatically) Oh, that I could speak of my love!
HARLEQUIN: What’s that, Columbine?
COLUMBINE: I cannot say! (sobs briefly)
PIERROT: You’re still not going on about Puck, are you?
COLUMBINE: Whatever do you mean?
HARLEQUIN: It’s the worst kept secret in the circus. Everyone knows!
COLUMBINE: (horrified) Not Puck…he cannot…he MUST not know!
HARLEQUIN: Well, he probably doesn’t. And anyway, he’s off with Cucurucu trying to locate the Enemy.
COLUMBINE: (intensely to Harlequin and Pierrot) Promise me you won’t say anything? I cannot distract him now. Not when there’s so much to do…
HARLEQUIN: Such a battle to be won!
COLUMBINE: Exactly. My needs…my LOVE…must forever be silent.
PIERROT: (sighing) The path of true love never does run smoothly!
COLUMBINE: I shall love from a distance. Promise me you’ll not tell him anything!
PIERROT and HARLEQUIN: (resigned to her request) We promise.
COLUMBINE: (deeply anxious) But what if Caballus should win and Darkness descends on the world?
HARLEQUIN: Well, we simply can’t let it! Now let’s practice our tricks while we wait for the others!
PIERROT: (throwing Columbine one of the juggling balls) Catch!
They begin their turns, but Columbine’s heart isn’t in it. They stop as Gorgonzola and Madame Sosostris enter from DSR.
MADAME: I wonder where they’ve got to? They should be back by now. Any news from Cucurucu and Puck? Papa Gorgonzola –
GORGONZOLA: (a little impatiently) Thank you Madame. I can speak for myself. You must leave all this to me, my dear.
MADAME: Of course, Papa Gorgonzola, of course! (blithely to the others) Any news of them?
PIERROT: Not a word, yet, Madame Sosostris!
HARLEQUIN: Not a thing!
COLUMBINE: (biting her knuckles) Oh my poor love! Abducted by Goblins!
GORGONZOLA: What are you thinking of? They’ve not been abducted! They’re due back any moment. And then we’ll have to marshal our troops.
MADAME: And here come some of them now!
Sounds of Mother Bee, Lizzie, Bizzie and Louisa entering. USL Mother Bee is somewhat windswept, but they’re all excited.
GORGONZOLA: (with some reservation in his voice as he looks them up and down) We’ll definitely need reinforcements.
MADAME: (in ringing tones to the slightly bemused new arrivals) Prepare for battle!
MOTHER BEE: Really? But we’ve only just arrived! What a flight!
GORGONZOLA: (to Madame) Madame, I remind you again. I give the instructions!
BIZZIE: That was fully sick!
LIZZIE: Way better than Qantas.
LOUISA: (looking around) What a cool place. But I don’t see any sign of my dad.
MOTHER BEE: Now don’t start crying again, dear, we’re here, among other things, to find Bluey – your father – and we won’t leave without him.
MADAME: Valliant words, Mrs. Bee! Just what Papa Gorgonzola wishes to hear, don’t you Papa Gorgonzola!
Just then there’s a scuffling sound at the top of the auditorium as Pingle, Mallee and Mouse Ears enter, followed by the Snottygobbles, and finally Muck. They need encouraging by the Fairies to make it to the stage, and will be very frightened of the children, except for Sarama perhaps? Sniffling and snorting in abundance from them all.
GORGONZOLA: I never thought I’d say this, but THAT’S the sound I want to hear! Welcome, one and all!
PINGLE: (a little exasperated, but maintaining her composure) It’s taken lots of energy, but they’re here, at last, and if you don’t scare them off, they should be of GREAT help to us all.
MALLEE: (herding one or two of them) They’re a bit skittish, you see –
MOUSE EARS: (giving Synan his arm) Afraid of Caballus here in the Old Country.
SYNAN: (indignantly) Oh no I’m not! I’m not afraid of that nasty bullying goblin.
SARKI: Snottygobbles! Atten-tion!
They will have reached the stage by this time and at his command will stand to attention and get into a rough line.
SARKI: (to Gorgonzola) Snottygobbles reporting for duty, Sir!
MADAME: (to Gorgonzola) Put them at ease, Papa Gorgonzola. Put them at ease! Poor things!
GORGONZOLA: If you’ll allow me to speak, Madame, I will! (in thundering tones) Snottygobbles – at ease! Sarki, Pingle, Mallee, Mouse Ears, come with me, we must discuss (looks around significantly) tactics.
MOTHER BEE: Wait here children. I won’t be a moment.
She heads off with the others US.
Sarama shyly approaches Lizzie, Bizzie and Louisa in an attempt to align with the children. She pulls three brightly coloured scarves (handkerchiefs) from her pocket.
LIZZIE: (turning away) Euwgh.
BIZZIE: Wonder where they’ve been?
LOUISA: Look! Look what she’s doing guys. That’s way cool!
Music FX accompanies this little scene, leading into Bizzie’s short riff on his break dance.
HARLEQUIN: (juggling plates/balls and joining Sarama) That’s fantastic! You could join the circus!
COLUMBINE: (juggling rings) Become one of us!
PIERROT: (also juggling) We all need some practice, but hey, we’re a team!
HARLEQUIN: (laughing) And what a team!
LIZZIE: (forgetting all her reservations, eagerly) Oh, Sarama, will you teach us to do that too!
LOUISA: (nudging Bizzie, and giggling) Even Bizzie could learn!
BIZZIE: Whatever! (he gives up on the juggling, etc and drops into a brief ‘phrase’ of his break dance)
SFX/Music indicates presence of the Flower Fairies.
HARLEQUIN: Listen, there’s someone coming!
The adults return from their meeting near the caravan.
MADAME: (in her usual quizzy way) Who is it? Where are they?
Mother Bee gathers the children around her. They resist a little as they don’t want to be ‘babied’.
PIERROT: I hope it’s not the Enemy – we wouldn’t stand a chance!
The Snottygobbles, sniffling in fear and with the odd squawk, all go into camouflage mode and duck down, except for Sarki who is a bit on his mettle in the face of Gorgonzola’s ‘bravery’ and Sarama, who remains with the children from now on.
COLUMBINE: (running DS to see who it is) Look! There they are –
PINGLE: It’s our cousins, the Flower Fairies –
The Fairies of the Enchanted Garden appear on the balconies. Cobweb SR and Moth and Mustard Seed SL.
MOUSE EARS: Yes, there’s Moth! Helloo…
MOTH: (calling down to them) Coo-eee!
MALLEE: And Mustard Seed!
MUSTARD SEED: Hello there!
COBWEB: We’re so glad you’re here at last – we’re at our wits’ end with Titania.
PINGLE: That’s why we’ve come here.
MALLEE: We must stop Caballus –
MOUSE EARS: Even our banksia candles in WA are going out!
PINGLE: Well, Papa Gorgonzola says he has a plan –
MADAME: (bossily) Indeed he does; he has a remarkable plan, haven’t you Papa Gorgonzola?
Lights dim. SFX thunder and lightning. Anxious reactions from all.
COBWEB: That’s Titania and Oberon again!
MOTH and MUSTARD SEED: They MUST be stopped!
GORGONZOLA: Well, they won’t be if you stand around here! Harlequin, Pierrot, Columbine – take up your positions; see if our scouts, Cucurucu and Puck are anywhere about. (they head for the caravan and climb onto it as if on the barricades to peruse the Garden.) Come on everyone – we must discuss tactics.
SONG
Gorgonzola/Sarki
Lights down on the balconies. Music as blacks fly in.
Scene 14
In the dungeon of Caballus’ lair. SFX water dripping, rats sqeaking, owls hooting. An eerie scene. As the lights come up, we see Bluey in chains, a gag over his mouth, SR, guarded by Grot and Grime. Caballus with Gallen SL is enjoying this moment as they try to discover how much – if anything – Bluey knows.
CABALLUS: (with his trademark evil laugh) Don’t think you can hold out forever, my filthy friend. You will talk. I, Caballus, will have my way!
BLUEY: (indicating his gag) Mmm mm m nn!
GROT: (eagerly) Let me pull his wings off, Master. Oh, let me!
GRIME: (equally eager) No, let me, Master let me!
CABALLUS: Not yet, my little ones, not yet! First he must tell us what he knows about the Snottygobbles…
GROT: And THEN we can pull off his wings!
GRIME: Yeah, THEN we can pull off his wings.
High fives between them.
CABALLUS: (pained by their display. Turning on them furiously) Don’t interrupt me. This is an interrogation!
BLUEY: Mmm nnnn ng n!
CABALLUS: Speak up, you fool! I can’t hear a word you’re saying!
GALLEN: Caballus, Sire!
CABALLUS: (annoyed) What is it?
GALLEN: (indicating the gag) Just a thought Sire. But – ahem – shouldn’t you first remove the…you know…gag? (sniffs)
Bluey nods vigorously at this point as Caballus first makes a grab for Gallen’s throat – because of the sniff – then spins round a little taken aback.
CABALLUS: WHAT??
GALLEN: Can’t talk if he’s gagged, that’s all! (sniffs)
Grot and Grime snigger behind their spears. A dangerous lapse on their parts!
CABALLUS: Don’t DO that! (turning to Bluey and ripping off the gag; trying to regain his control) A small oversight, merely. (to his guards, unreasonably) I hold you responsible!
GROT: What, us?
GRIME: What’d we do? (in a small voice) Can I pull off his wings now?
CABALLUS: No, you may not!
BLUEY: (who never loses his cool) Well, that’s a relief, Mate. These blokes have a few kangaroos loose in their top paddock, I can tell ya!
CABALLUS: What’s that you say?
BLUEY: Not the full quid, either of them!
Grot and Grime will do their utmost to live up to this description of themselves as idiots.
CABALLUS: I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
GALLEN: (interpreting) I think he means they’re not very bright, Sire. And, if you ask me, he’s quite right!
CABALLUS: Well, I’m not asking you! (to Bluey, menacingly) Look here, fellow, you’re in the Old Country now. I won’t have any of this nonsense.
BLUEY: Don’t spit the dummy, Mate! But I can tell you now. Zzz. You won’t get a word out of me!
CABALLUS: We’ll see about that!
He is about to strangle Bluey when Gudrun enters urgently DSR.
GUDRUN: I thought you should know – there’s something going on in the Enchanted Garden, Caballus.
CABALLUS: (arrested in the act of – nearly – strangling Bluey) Of course there is! The Power of Darkness is eating away at the Forces of Light!
GUDRUN: (aside) How heroic he looks. (pulling herself together) Maybe, Caballus! But, apart from the fact that Titania is going ahead with her party there are all sorts of alien creatures all over the Enchanted Garden! And the Circus is back in town!
CABALLUS: Circus – did you say circus? (a little rattled) Surely not? They would never dare to return to the place of their utter humiliation!
GALLEN: (under his breath) You mean your utter humiliation! Cucurucu, Sire? Gorgonzola? Your old enemies?
CABALLUS: (explosively; he has a very short fuse) Don’t mention their names in my presence! Follow me, Gallen, and you too, Grot and Grime. We must find out what’s happening. (sneering at Bluey) And this prisoner isn’t going anywhere! I hope you’re enjoying the hospitality of Caballus, King of the Goblins! (laughs evilly, and exits SR, followed by Grot and Grime, then Gallen.)
GALLEN: (shrugging his shoulders; to the audience as he exits) He just loves being evil.
GUDRUN: (annoyed and indignant) Am I completely invisible, now? (calling offstage to where they’ve disappeared) Hel-lo! Queen of the Goblins here! Maybe you want to keep me on side?!
BLUEY: Nah, not a dropkick like him. What dya want to hang around with him for? You seem like a nice sheila.
GUDRUN: (she’s still angry with the departed Caballus) My name’s ‘Gudrun’, not ‘Shelia’ I’ll have you know. Anyway, that’s it! I’ve had enough of him. I don’t trust him.
BLUEY: Now that’s the most sensible thing I’ve heard today! (he twists to relieve his muscles) I don’t suppose you’d be willin’ to untie me – strewth, I could do with some tucker.
GUDRUN: (moved by his plight, she starts to untie him) Oh, you poor thing! Here, let’s get you out of these awful chains. Serves Caballus right if I help his precious prisoner escape!
BLUEY: (relishing his freedom) You beaudy! Zzz.
GUDRUN: (coyly) You’re just saying that!
BLUEY: (puzzled at this misinterpretation) Right! But thanks heaps. Zzz. Let’s find that circus mob you were talkin’ about and warn them. We don’t want that mongrel to catch them unawares, do we? Ya with me?
GUDRUN: (aside) How commanding he is! (to Bluey) Of course I am! I can’t wait to…to…(she finds the right ‘Strine’ phrase triumphantly) DOB on him!
BLUEY: Good onya, Gudrun. Let’s shoot through!
Gudrun giggles and they exit hand in hand.
Music FX. Lights dim on apron.
Scene 15
Music, SFX establish Fairy realm. This is Titania’s Grove in the Enchanted Garden. Titania sits on her swing CS which is beautifully decorated in flowers and leaves. Petunia and her old nurse, Pease Blossom are in attendance, placing a floral wreath in her hair as the curtain flies. She could be assessing herself in a mirror, but she will be beautifully dressed for her party, which will start at midnight. Mist coils across the stage, the lights twinkle in the flowers behind her, but even as she sits there, the lights flicker and dim a little and then grow bright before dimming again.
TITANIA: That’s Oberon, again! (stepping off the swing) Oh, he’s so annoying! I can’t see my own image. How on earth can I get ready for tonight like this?
PEASE BLOSSOM: Well, dear, if only you’d stop this nonsense.
TITANIA: I will NOT give in, Pease Blossom! Don’t ask me to. He’s the most infuriating creature!
Oberon enters as she speaks, surprising all of them. He is followed by Odin.
OBERON: The same can be said of you, Titania! You have one last chance to declare peace with me and stop this – otherwise I shall join with Caballus and together we shall defeat you!
TITANIA: How typical of you, Oberon! You’re not strong enough to defeat me alone, so you’ll join forces with the nastiest, most evil creature in the Enchanted Garden and all for what – your horrid pride!
OBERON: Don’t speak to me like that, Titania, you’ll be sorry!
TITANIA: No, I won’t! You’re a great big bully, Oberon, but I’ll never give into you. NEVER!
OBERON: Well, don’t say you weren’t warned! Cancel your party! If you don’t want peace then it’s war between us so prepare to fight – not just Oberon and his elfin troops this time, but Caballus and his tribe of Goblins!
Caballus’ evil laughter can be heard echoing through the garden.
PETUNIA: Oh, my lady! Think what you’re doing.
TITANIA: I will not be bullied, Petunia. You know me better than that! And I shall not cancel my party either. Oh! You’re so mean!
She bursts into tears and rushes off stage USL followed by her nurse, Pease Blossom.
PETUNIA: (to Oberon) Won’t you reconsider, Sire?
OBERON: (moodily) It’s gone too far now – nothing can stop it I’m afraid!
He exits in the opposite direction to Titania, USR
ODIN: (to Petunia) I wish we could do something.
The lights fade, Music FX reaches a climax. The blacks fly in.
Scene 16
Lights go up on Bizzie, Lizzie and Louisa, with Sarama sitting in a semi-circle sharing a bag of pollen lollies!
BIZZIE: So what’s the big secret, then, Sarama? Here, have a pollen lolly.
SARAMA: For me? Thank you so much. (sniffs) I don’t know if I can tell you the secret! Sarki says I mustn’t.
LIZZIE: Friends don’t have secrets from each other, Sarama. (passing the bag around)
LOUISA: Friends tell each other everything!
SARAMA: Well, I’ve never had friends before so I didn’t know that!
BIZZIE: Ok. But now we’re you’re friends so tell us. What is it then?
SARAMA: (to the audience as well as the insect children) Promise you won’t say I told you? You must really promise!
Agreement should be reached by everyone.
SARAMA: (conspiratorially) Well, Caballus is really a Snottygobble and the ONE thing he’s afraid of, is –
TOGETHER: What?
SARAMA: (hesitantly, looking over her shoulder) The one thing we’re all afraid of is –
TOGETHER: WHAT?
SARAMA: Don’t shout. All of us Snottygobbles hate soap and water! We hate baths and getting wet.
LIZZIE: So, if they want to defeat Caballus, and restore the magic to the world –
BIZZIE: (a bit puzzled) They must give him a bath!
LOUISA: Soap and water. (getting the audience to repeat it) Soap and water! Quick, we must tell the Grown-Ups! Come on!
SARAMA: (aghast) But you promised!
LIZZIE: Don’t worry, Sarama, we won’t dob you in!
LOUISA: But we must let them know!
They run off DSR together chanting “Soap and Water, Soap and Water”
During this scene Puck and Cucurucu become visible on the balcony SR, ready to descend into the action on stage.
PUCK: (from the balcony, in Town Crier mode – perhaps with trumpet and banner?) The time has come! Prepare for Battle!
Cucurucu gives a whistle and descends onto the stage.
The curtains fly to reveal Titania (with Pease Blossom and Petunia) in a pool of light (under a flower-decked arch?) USL. Oberon is in a similar pool of light (flower-decked arch?) USR with Odin and Muck. The Bush Fairies gather on the balcony SR with the Flower Fairies gathered on the balcony SL.
The Snottygobbles, minus Sarama, are hidden behind the rostra, ready with their bubbles for the scene of Caballus’ defeat.
Battle lines are drawn as, to martial music (drums, etc). Caballus and his goblins line up on one side, while Gorgonzola, Cucurucu, Puck, Harlequin, Pierrot and Columbine line up on the other side.
CABALLUS: It is just as I thought! The circus is back in town. (laughs unpleasantly)
CUCURUCU: (circling him) We have a very old score to settle, my evil friend! (he shows him a scar perhaps)
GORGONZOLA: And this time, we won’t be leaving until it’s done!
CABALLUS: You will never defeat me! I am All Powerful! (laughs evilly) Times have changed! Oberon, King of the Fairies is with me now!
Oberon tries to move in protest, but can’t get out of the light. He falls back in some pain.
TITANIA: No, Oberon, how could you!
She tries to get out but she, too, is caught.
PUCK: (aside) This is not looking good!
CABALLUS: Nothing will stop me now! Come, all you of the Goblin Tribe, wherever you are! Fight for the Power of Darkness!
GORGONZOLA: You will not triumph, Caballus! Once more, the Forces of Light will defeat you!
As he speaks, though, the Snottygobbles peep over the edges of the rostra, drawn by the power of the dark magic. They are, remember, of the Goblin Tribe.
On the balconies, the Fairies are terrified.
CABALLUS: Ha ha! They come in answer to my call!
PINGLE: Oh no they don’t. At least not all of them.
Bluey and Gudrun run on stage and briefly distract Caballus. A sword is thrown to Bluey; Gudrun draws hers.
CABALLUS: (momentarily taken aback) You!
BLUEY: G’day, Mate. Yes, me!
GUDRUN: And me, Caballus. You didn’t count on this, did you?
Cheers from the Fairies on the balconies. Swords clash and the fight begins.
Music and SFX accompany the battle, which will see Oberon and Titania struggling against the magic confining them; the Snottygobbles pointlessly darting in and out AVOIDING battle (they’re pacifists) and the others fairly evenly matched until Caballus gains the upper hand by trapping Columbine and threatening to murder her.
CABALLUS: I win, I think! (laughs triumphantly) Let Darkness descend on the Enchanted Garden!
There is a sound at the door of the auditorium as Madame Sosostris appears in the spotlight She is followed by Mother Bee and the children.
MADAME: (raising her hands to the heavens, dramatically) I think not, Caballus! Stop! You have not won yet! These children have something to say.
Everyone, including the Fairies on the balcony, will be stunned by their entry.
LIZZIE: We know the secret of the Snottygobbles!
BIZZIE: (including the audience) We all do! Don’t we?
LOUISA: He hates – can anyone remember? What does he hate?
EVERYONE: Soap and water!
CABALLUS: (struggling to hold Columbine) Be careful! Be very careful!
SARAMA: (rising to the occasion) So, Snottygobbles, Atten-tion!
On cue all the Snottygobbles (and the children) take out their bubbles and blow bubbles at Caballus from all sides. A bubble machine, too, may deposit bubbles on him. As they reach him he writhes in agony – as do his henchmen, except for Gallen who joins his cousins, the Snottygobbles and grabs some bubbles himself – and falls to the floor between Gorgonzola and Cucurucu. Puck dashes over and catches Columbine as she falls from his grasp.
CABALLUS: No! Not that! Anything but that! I hate soap and water! Aaaah!
He staggers to his feet and helped by Grime and Grot, hobbles off.
Titania and Oberon embrace as the Enchanted Garden fills with cheers.
CUCURUCU: We did it, brother!
MADAME: Thanks to these lovely children.
LOUISA: (rushing into Bluey’s arms) I’m so glad you’re safe, Dad!
BLUEY: Well, I’ve been flat out like a lizard drinking, but not any more!
OBERON: It’s nearly midnight, and it’s time to start your party! (he bows to Titania)
TITANIA: Yes, let’s set everything up, Fairies. We have something wonderful to celebrate! And look, The Crickets are ready to play!
The fairies start to make their way down from the balconies.
GORGONZOLA: My troupe will perform for you as promised tonight!
MADAME: (dreamily) The Command Performance!
OBERON: Everyone is welcome. (He kisses Titania’s outstretched hand.)
TITANIA: Yes, everyone.
Music accompanies them as they move into position for the finale. Circus music brings Gorgonzola out, cracking his whip and then the ‘acts’ happen very quickly in the manner of curtain calls.
The King and Queen of the Fairies sit on cushions, under their bowers, USC, their fairies around them as the circus performers display their prowess. The Snottygobbles gather beneath the rostra at their feet. The Bush Fairies and the Australian Creatures gather on either side DS – the children, with Sarama and Madame Sosostris, DSR, the adults – Bluey, Gudrun and Mother Bee DSL.
Pierrot juggles, Harlequin spins plates, Cucurucu tumbles/does trapeze act and Columbine enters on stilts, holding Puck’s hand.
COLUMBINE: (looking down at him, lovingly) My hero!
PUCK: (abashed) It was nothing!
Madame Sosostris, crystal ball in her hand, reads the future to the children. The action continues as the next sequence unfolds.
LIZZIE: I traveled far and wide, had the most wonderful adventures – but I didn’t meet a tall, dark and handsome stranger!
MADAME: He may be closer than you think!
LOUISA: (giggling) It IS Bizzie after all.
BIZZIE: Whatever. (He moves into his breakdance as the others cheer.)
COBWEB: Look, Mistress, here comes Caballus!
TITANIA: Quite a transformation –
Caballus enters forlornly, DSL carrying a bunch of helium balloons, with Grot and Grime each holding one.
GORGONZOLA: There’s a job in Gorgonzola’s Circus for you if you promise to mend your wicked ways.
CABALLUS: From Master of the Earth and Sky to Balloon Seller! What a way for my vision to end! (sobs)
Bluey is the focal point of attention from both Mother Bee and Gudrun between whom there is just a little, unresolved, animosity. Pingle, Mallee and Mouse Ears join their group.
PINGLE: We’ll have to leave soon! Back to Western Australia.
MALLEE: There’s work to be done in the Banksia Forest.
MOUSE EARS: But thanks to all of you (gestures to the audience as well) the candles have not gone out!
PINGLE: And there’s still magic in the world.
PUCK: (to the audience) What would have happened, I wonder, if we hadn’t discovered the Snottygobbles’ secret!
BLUEY: This is a Fairy Story, Mate. It has to have a happy ending.
EVERYONE: Of course! All the best ones do!
FINIS
Back to... Week Six - Week Seven
...or go to... Snottygobbles - Act One
View other 'Snottygobble' production extras... Julian's Drawings One Julian's Drawings Two
Circus Skills Photo Gallery Mel's Acting CV Geoff Glencross Theatre History
First Draft Second Draft Final Script - Act One Final Script - Act Two
Samantha's Costume One Samantha's Costume Two Paul's Unbanned Suicide Run Costume Fitting
Dance Workshop Darren's Character Profile First Dress Rehearsal One First Dress Rehearsal Two
First Dress Rehearsal Three First Dress Rehearsal Four Jamie at the Final Dress Rehearsal
Final Dress Rehearsal One Final Dress Rehearsal Two Final Dress Rehearsal Three
Final Dress Rehearsal Four Pre-show Make-up Wrap-up
...or view other 2006 'Notice Board' entries... Week One - Week Two Week Three - Week Four
Study Break One - Week Five Week Six - Week Seven Study Break Two - Week Eight
Week Nine - Week Ten Week Eleven - Week Twelve Week Thirteen Week Fourteen
...or view other Notice Board entries... 2005 Children's Theatre Notice Board
Go to Children's Theatre: My Journal History Notice Board Your Work
Contact Andrew @ thechaseison@optusnet.com.au
This page last updated: 30th June 2006