Children's Theatre: Snottygobbles Script
Back to... Week Six - Week Seven
...or go to... Snottygobbles - Act Two
The Secret of the Snottygobbles: A Fairy Story
Act 1
As the houselights dim, Puck is visible on the balcony SR. He will be wearing the usual apparel (Peter Pan-like greens) but with some contemporary features (sunnies, a cap, perhaps, something to indicate both his historical status as well as his existence now.) With him is his ‘helper’, apprentice-in-training, Muck (a naughty pixie), perhaps holding the rope down below. S/he is wearing a less impressive version of Puck’s gear; s/he is mischievous by nature and completely oblivious to all insults and instructions.
Puck is on holiday in Western Australia, having earned a rest after some 400[1] years of hard work as Oberon, the King of the Fairies’ right-hand goblin. He’s making the most of his time off and, with his apprentice in to, has been doing the ‘tourist’ thing near Margaret River and has made his way, beach by beach, to Cottesloe where he’s trying his skills at rock-climbing. He abseils into the action during his opening speech which functions as a Prologue and he becomes the mediator between the children in the audience and the characters on stage.
Prologue:
PUCK: (Looking over the balcony directly at the audience) Well, who have we here? You must be XXXX Primary, come to watch this show! Hang on a bit, I’m coming down – nothing easier than abseiling, especially if you’ve got magic powers like I have! Keep the rope steady, Muck. Hold it steady! Piece of cake! (He will now descend more rapidly than he’d like and should land with a fairly dramatic thud accompanied by unseemly shrieks.)
Muck doubles over with laughter and points at his Master, giggling.
Pulling himself together, adjusting his cap and abseiling gear. That was a little quicker than I expected. No time really to get the magic going. But great fun I tell you! No thanks to you, you useless Pixie. (To the audience) She’s my assistant, you see. I’ve brought her on holiday with me to teach her how to be a goblin at the court of the King and Queen of the Fairies but she doesn’t listen! (Muck will be absorbed in the gear, not doing anything constructive, but just looking intently at it) See what I mean – she doesn’t LISTEN! (Muck jumps and turns round at the raised voice.) Pack that away will you! (To the audience) Useless!
Muck slowly packs away the abseiling gear perhaps struggling to fit it into the appropriate bag. Everything she does should be awkward and clumsy, bringing down upon her head the wrath of Puck.
Anyway guess what? (Bit of business as he tries for an audience response) We’re on holiday, here - well I am - my first break in … let me see… 406 years, that’s right, I said 406 years! We goblins really put in long hours! But here I am now and really lovin’ it. I mean, Margaret River, Dunsborough, Green Pool (to the audience) You been there? (Responses, hopefully) Fantastic! I’ve been around the world, let me tell you, for my Master, Oberon – he’s the King of the Fairies, and a bit of a – you know (gestures to indicate control-freak) - and I’ve never, I mean NEVER seen anything like this. Sun, sea, beaches, surf – I’ve been catching waves up and down the coast (does an imitation of a surfboard ride) and it’s really cool. (Puts on his sunnies.)
There is the sound of activity at the door to the theatre and it opens noisily.
PUCK: Wait, what’s that? Someone’s coming and I really don’t want anyone to know we’re here. I’m traveling ‘incognito’, see, which means I don’t want anyone to know who I am so I’ll just sit here (he finds a seat among the children) till they’ve gone. Don’t tell anyone we’re here, Okay? (Hisses at Muck.) Here, come here, you idiot! We mustn’t be seen.
A bit of stage business as Muck tries to find the right place. May end up hiding behind the band. Puck is exasperated, but finally all is settled.
Hopefully the audience will comply with Puck’s wishes. From now on his entries should play up the notion of disguise, “Inspector Clouseau-style”. Each re-appearance should be accompanied by a total makeover, accent included.
Scene 1
The Banksia Fairies, Pingle, Mallee and their friend, Mouse Ears, an Elf, are visible on the balconies as the lights come up on the apron. Each carries a small coloured light. They move silently up and down the balconies, and as they do the fairy lights come on. They remove the abseiling line as they go. Lizzie Ladybird and her best friend, Bizzie Bee, enter through the auditorium. They’re in a hurry as the sun is setting and they need to be back in the Banksia Forest before dark or their mothers will be very angry. They’re best friends but it’s evident that Bizzie is a little overpowered by Lizzie’s more dominant personality.
LIZZIE: Oooh, that WAS fun, wasn’t it, Bizzie!
BIZZIE: (Not quite as enthusiastically) Well, yes, Lizzie! Except when … you know ... when that horrible galah nearly -
LIZZIE: (Interrupting, impatiently) Don’t be such a loser, Bizzie - we were under a honky nut. It would never have got us!
BIZZIE: I’m not a loser, Lizzie! But you know we weren’t supposed to go that far.
LIZZIE: I know, but that’s what made it such fun! We flew nearly to the edge of the forest, Bizzie, and we’ve never done that before!
BIZZIE: No, and we won’t be allowed out again if we don’t get home soon! Come on, let’s hurry or we’ll be grounded for a week!
LIZZIE: Oh, alright. I’m coming.
She looks wistfully over her shoulder as Bizzie runs onto the apron and collides with Louisa the Fly who is not looking where she’s going. [SFX Clash of cymbals]They both shriek loudly in fright.
LIZZIE: (Catching up and helping Bizzie to her feet) That’s so typical of you, Louisa – why don’t you watch where you’re going?
LOUISA: (Struggling to her feet, adjusting her headgear) Chill, guys. I’m doing you a favour. Your mum’s going spare waiting for you, Bizzie, so I thought I’d come and warn you.
BIZZIE: I told you, Lizzie! Now I’ll be grounded and it’s all your fault!
LOUISA: Yeah, and that’s not cool, because then you’ll miss the show.
LIZZIE: (Intrigued) What show?
LOUISA: (Unrolling a poster) The circus is coming to the Banksia Forest. Look at this! There’re clowns, acrobats –
BIZZIE: - jugglers, stilt-walkers! Ooh, look, Lizzie.
LIZZIE: (Lizzie takes the poster and scans it as the others look over her shoulder.) And there’s a fortune-teller too! “Madame Sosostris”! I’m so going to visit her!
LOUISA: I dunno, Lizzie. Do you really want to know the future?
BIZZIE: What if it’s something you don’t want to hear!
LIZZIE: That’s just like you two! Don’t be so boring. I want (reading her name, dramatically) “Madame Sosostris” to tell me that I won’t spend the rest of my life just here in the Banksia Forest; that I’ll travel far and wide, that I’ll meet (pauses, for theatrical effect) - a tall, dark and handsome stranger!
LOUISA: (Giggling) You wouldn’t need to go that far – there’s always Bizzie!
BIZZIE: (Used to this teasing, he shrugs it off.) Tall, dark and handsome! That’s me!
LOUISA: (Laughing and buzzing). Zzz – NOT!
LIZZIE: (Brought back to earth by all this.) Don’t be silly! I want to travel the world, meet new people – have an adventure! And I’m going to ask Madame Sosostris what my future holds if it’s the last thing I do.
BIZZIE: This may be the last thing we do if we don’t get home soon!
LOUISA: Yeah, your mum’s really mad at you for staying out late. Come on, now –
She heads off SL, followed by Bizzie as Lizzie lingers a moment, a little lost in her daydream. She’s still holding the poster, but drops it as she runs to catch up with them
LIZZIE: Oh, alright – I’m coming!
Exits SL after them.
Puck jumps up onto the apron and picks up the poster.
PUCK: How good is this? Papa Gorgonzola’s Circus is coming to town! Who would have thought he’d be here in WA? Last time I saw him and his troupe they were in the Enchanted Forest where my Master, Oberon and Titania, live. I haven’t seen him for … look it must be a hundred years at least … and, guys, I tell you he can really put on a show. Looks like we could be in for some real fun today. (To the audience) Don’t go anywhere – I’ll be back. Just going to get myself something to eat. I wonder if anyone here sells fairy-bread… Yum, my favourite food.
Exits SR
Scene 2
Lights up on the balconies reveal Mallee and Mouse Ears on either side of the auditorium. LFX timed to dim and then glow brighter, then dim.
MOUSE EARS: (Distress in his voice) Mallee, Mallee, it’s happening again!
MALLEE: (Equally upset) Yes, here too! Oh, Mouse Ears, the lights are going out.
They comment as the lights glow and then dim
MOUSE EARS: Now they’re coming back again!
MALLEE: Pingle said there was something wrong, and she’s right. Oh no, look!
The lights glow and then dim again
MOUSE EARS: We must find her and tell her! She was right, it’s happening everywhere. This is not good, Mallee!
MALLEE: Come quickly, we haven’t a moment to lose. Pingle’s doing the Banksia Forest section and if the lights go out there … I can’t bear to think about it!
MOUSE EARS: To the Banksia Forest, then. Quickly, let’s fly.
Music, SFX should help to establish the mood.
They run back up the balconies as the curtain flies to reveal the Banksia Forest. It should appear a little eerie, with mist curling across the scene. Gradually, in the gloom, and through the mist several figures come into focus. The Snottygobbles are spread across the stage, trying to appear invisible. Their names each carry meanings that contradict their ‘snottygobble’ appearance. They’re goblin-like creatures, of the earth so should be dressed in earth colours with the occasional yellow or green highlight. Make-up should emphasize their ‘otherness’; hair dressed with twigs and sticks to contrast with the fairies’ flower wreaths and headdresses.
They are of varying ages: their leader, Sarki [Chief] must carry some insignia on his clothes to indicate his status (a military cut to a jacket, epaulets, medals, a flash on a hat?). The others are Synan [Old] and Sedana [Royal] Sayu [happiness], Sarama [nice] and Selma [fair]. Their fate is not to appear to others as they truly are. They, thus, contradict their essences as characterized by their names and present to the world a façade that is less than appealing but which should keep the fine line between being grotesque and being comical. They are sensitive souls trapped by their grubby physical appearance.
As the music fades, they start making the sounds of the forest – hoots, whistles, rustling. It should have a polyphonic effect and contribute to the initial mystery surrounding them. Not looking at each other, they speak from their positions, perhaps under toadstools. On some of the toadstools the Circus Poster can be seen, advertising the imminent arrival of Gorgonzola’s Circus.
Scene 3.
SARKI: Snottygobbles, are you there?
A general sniff from all of them indicates their presence.
SELMA: Snottygobble Selma here, Sir. Reporting for duty, Sir!
SYNAN: (Casting about a little frantically, because she’s very old and can barely see. She walks with the aid of a crooked stick) Where, where is she? Can’t seem to see her anywhere? (Looks closely, and myopically at a poster)
SELMA: (A little impatiently) That’s because you have your back to us, and are staring straight at that piece of paper, Synan. Turn around and you’ll see us. (Sniffs)
SYNAN: (Doddering. Does she have an ear trumpet to signal her agedness?) That’s better, now I can see you. Just needed a clue that’s all!
SEDANA: Right, all Snottygobbles accounted for! All present and correct, Sarki! I mean Sir!
SARKI: I haven’t heard from the new recruit. (On a note of rising impatience) Snottygobble Sarama, report for duty!
SARAMA: Snottygobble Sarama here, Sir! (She stands to attention, which disconcerts the others as they’re trying not to draw any attention to themselves)
SNOTTYGOBBLES: (Together) Get down, Sarama, or they’ll see us!
SARKI: (Losing it a bit – his ‘control’ of the troops must be marginal at best) And we certainly don’t want that! At ease, Snottygobble, at ease!
SARAMA: (Apologetically) I’m so sorry I just can’t help myself. It’s so hard being an Upright Snottygobble. It’s not as easy for me as it is for you Spreading Snottygobbles, crouching down like this (Sniffs loudly)
SELMA: (Irritated) That’s of no interest to us, Private - we don’t want (gestures US) you know, the others to see us.
SEDANA: We must be absolutely quiet, remember!
SYNAN: (It dawns on her suddenly) I remember. Absolutely quiet (Sniffs). We don’t want THEM to know we’re here.
SARAMA: (Innocently curious) Why not?
SELMA: Just sit still … listen, and watch!
SARKI: (Taking charge) Take up your positions! Snottygobbles -
SARKI: - Atten-tion!
Sarama almost rises but is subdued by Sayu. Whistles, hoots, hissing – in polyphonic order – as they observe the entry of the Bluey, the Fly.
He’s Louisa’s Father and is the only one of the insect characters on good terms with the Snottygobbles. He and Sarki go way back – probably played football for the same club years ago. They’re mates and look out for each other. He’s been in a paddock all day, in fact, hard at work, doing what a fly’s got to do and he’s just knocked off ‘work’.
BLUEY: (Immediately locating Sarki) There y’are, Sarki! G’day, Mate.
SARKI: (Emerging from the camouflage. Sniffs, wipes his nose). G’day Bluey!
SELMA: Cover’s blown, Snottygobbles! Up ya get! (She rises up, impatient at the order of events.)
SARAMA: (Anxiously) What now? What happens now? Are we in trouble?
SEDANA: (Sniffing, too) It’s only Bluey, the Blowfly, silly. He means us no harm.
SYNAN: (Peering intently at Bluey through a pair of antique glasses) You’re that blowfly, friend of Sarki’s? (Sniffs) Well, any friend of Sarki’s is a friend of ours. Isn’t that right, Snottygobbles? (Sniffs, chuckles and snorts as he looks round.)
SELMA: (Humbly, not wanting to offend.) Just what was it, Sir, Mr. Bluey, that is, what was it that … you know … gave our hiding spot away.
SARKI: S’right, Mate. We thought we were well hidden, but you found us – like that (Snaps his fingers)
The Snottygobbles should all gather round him for the answer and in their earnestness they should time one gigantic ‘sniff’ in unison.
BLUEY: Probably the fact that you’re as smelly as a dingo’s - (politely leaves this blank) whatsit … and the fact that I heard you sniffing from the edge of that banksia over there! Bit of a give-away, y’know.
The Snottygobbles look at each other and sigh, then sniff again in unison.
SARKI: (Taking charge) Right, that’s it! Troops, we’re going to have to do better than that! Atten – TION! They take up their original positions on stage, hooting whistling and hissing as they adopt camouflage to conceal themselves. (To Bluey, putting his arm round his mate’s shoulders and walking DSC with him.) There’s something on the go, here, Mate. The Bush Fairies are on to it but they don’t know what’s causing it.
BLUEY: The business with the candles, y’mean?
SYNAN: (Hard of hearing) Handles, did he say handles?
SEDANA: He said candles, Old Creature. Candles.
SARAMA: We know … at least we think we know what it is.
SELMA: (Sniffs) But we’re not telling anyone. Don’t want trouble.
SARKI: I give the orders around here, remember –
SEDANA: But why should we help them? They’re all so nasty to us! That little ladybird and her friends ignore us completely –
SARAMA: Calm down, dear – they’re not all like that –
SEDANA: Oh, yes, they are!
SONG of the Snottygobbles
(A plaintive, sad little song that tells of their inner beauty.)
BLUEY: (To Sarki) Look, I can’t stay any longer. Mother Bee’s waiting for me. I said I’d help her with her honey pots this evening. Makes a bit of a change from the work in the paddock (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) Know what I mean? But I think I’ll just have a quick look around to see what’s going on –
SFX Thunder LFX Lightning. Evil laughter echoes across the stage as the candles dim. Everyone stops in their tracks, horrified
SARKI: It’s just as we thought, Snottygobbles! Caballus!
BLUEY: Caballus! You mean the evil Goblin King!
SNOTTYGOBBLES: We know it’s him!
SARAMA: – we can feel it!
SNOTTYGOBBLES: AND hear it!
BLUEY: We must do something – stop him, before it’s too late!
SYNAN: Nothing changes, my friend. He’s too powerful now. It’s best to stay out of it!
SARKI: He’s up to his old ways, I’m afraid
SELMA: And only we know his weakness!
SYNAN: Only we know how to defeat him!
Sounds of the Fairies’ entry as they call from offstage “Pingle”, “Mallee”, “Where are you?” etc.
SEDANA: And our lips are sealed.
The Snottygobbles sniff, belch and start their hissing, hooting and calling as they peel away into the undergrowth hiding behind the rostra US. Perhaps to the tune of their plaintive little song?
BLUEY: Wait a moment! Hang on a bit. I need to know more. Zzz
Evil laughter and the SFX and LFX (thunder and lightning) echo across the stage again.
BLUEY: (Distracted by the laughter, he hasn’t seen where they’ve gone) (Musing) Caballus, hey? This is not lookin’ too good! Hey Sarki, Snottygobbles, wait up.
He exits USR thinking they’ve gone that way.
Scene 4
Mallee and Mouse Ears enter from USL, Pingle from DSR
MALLEE: (Anxiously) There you are, Pingle. Mouse Ears and I have been looking for you.
MOUSE EARS: (Clearly distressed) It’s just as you feared. It’s happening all over the forest now and we just can’t work out why!
PINGLE: I’ve been up and down the banksias till I’m exhausted and though the candles light up briefly when I put all my strength into the magic, they fade again as soon as I stop. I don’t know what to do.
MALLEE: Perhaps if we all join together, it might work!
MOUSE EARS: But we’ve never had to do this before –
PINGLE: No, there’s something very wrong, here. And I’m going to get to the bottom of it!
The Snottygobbles hiss, hoot and whistle in sequence but remain where they are.
MALLEE: Let’s just try lighting them together.
MOUSE EARS: (Doubtfully) It may work…
PINGLE: Alright, let’s pool our magic powers, then.
They turn to face the banksias, and on a music cue, wave their wands.
PINGLE: All together, now, one, two three –
They watch expectantly as the lights glow brighter briefly and then (almost) go out.
MOUSE EARS: (Bursting into tears) What’s happening, Pingle? Mallee, the magic’s dying. Oh, what’s wrong with our forest?
MALLEE: I wish I could answer that. But I just don’t know what’s going on.
PINGLE: It’s never happened before – not in the thousands of years we fairies have been tending the flowers of the bush. There’s something very odd about all this, and we’ll have to find out what it is!
The Snottygobbles sniff severally, but the Fairies don’t seem to hear them and they remain unseen.
MOUSE EARS: There’s someone coming!
MALLEE: (Looking USR) It’s Mother Bee and Bizzie. Perhaps the insects have seen and heard something. Do you think they can help us?
PINGLE: Won’t hurt to ask -
Scene 5
Mother Bee enters on her lines with Bizzie trying to apologize. She is followed by Lizzie and Louisa.
MOTHER BEE: Do you know how dangerous it is, Bizzie? A little ladybird and a baby bee –
BIZZIE: (Indignantly) I’m not a baby, Mum!
MOTHER BEE: Oh yes you are. (To anyone listening) These two flew to the edge of the forest and didn’t get back till dark. I can’t tell you how worried I was!
LIZZIE: I’m sorry Mrs. Bee, it’s my fault, really –
MOTHER BEE: (Turning unexpectedly on Louisa) And you’re as unreliable as your father – a fine neighbour he is! He promised that after work this evening he’d help me sort out all my honeycombs and I waited and waited to no avail. Like Father like Daughter! I expected more of you, Louisa. I’m very disappointed!
LOUISA: (Confused) But… but…
LIZZIE: It’s my fault, Mrs. Bee, not Louisa’s. She came to call us but we were having such fun. Weren’t we Bizzie?
BIZZIE: (Nervously, caught between his friend and his irate mother) Yes, we were having the best time – except when -
LIZZIE: (Hurriedly interrupting) - when the flowers dimmed a bit. (Trying to change the subject) And that’s what we came here to find out: Pingle, Mallee, Mouse Ears. What’s happening to the candles?
LOUISA: It’s, like, really weird!
MOTHER BEE: I’ve been too upset to notice. Is there something wrong?
PINGLE: Yes, definitely, but we don’t know what it is!
MALLEE: Our magic – which lights the candles every night and which keeps the forest beautiful is… is getting weaker –
MOUSE EARS: And it’s never happened before, in thousands of years!
MOTHER BEE: I thought it was gloomier than usual tonight – and there’s a full moon, too.
BIZZIE: How awful! If the candles go out what will happen to us?
LOUISA: Like – how will we survive if all this (she gestures to the forest canopy) fades and dies?
The Fairies look anxiously at each other.
PINGLE: Let’s not think about that yet. What we need to do is find out what – or who – is behind this!
LIZZIE: I’ll bet those sneaky Snottygobbles are behind this. Always creeping about and turning up just when you least expect them.
BIZZIE: Yuck, and they’re so grubby (shudders). And slimy. Eeuw!
LOUISA: (Knowing she’ll be attacked for this, but valiantly stating her case anyway). They’re alright, y’know.
LIZZIE and BIZZIE: (Together) Eeuw! That’s so not true!
LOUISA: Well they can’t be all bad. My Dad says they’re not as gross as we think -
LIZZIE: That’s ‘cause he’s a blowfly, Louisa!
BIZZIE: And flies don’t mind yucky, slimy Snottygobbles!
LOUISA: (A bit indignant) We do so!
LIZZIE: Oh, no you don’t!
LOUISA: Oh, yes we do!
BIZZIE: Oh no you don’t!
MOTHER BEE: (Distracted by the argument) Bizzie! Girls. Stop your bickering immediately! That’s quite enough (To the Fairies) Perhaps the Snottygobbles do know something? Always up to no good in my opinion so it might be a good idea to find them and see what they have to say for themselves.
Some indignant, but silent reactions from the Snottygobbles as this exchange takes place. Space for a few visual gags as, of course, no one – except the audience – knows they’re there.
MALLEE: That sounds like a good idea. They do get around in their strange way, so they might have heard or seen something.
MOUSE EARS: But they’re not powerful enough to do this…unless –
PINGLE: - unless … you could be on to something here … unless they’re working for someone else!
This is too much for Sarama who erupts into the action from her crouching position
SARAMA: We are NOT making the candles go out. On the honour of a Snottygobble! An UPRIGHT Snottygobble.
Mother Bee, Lizzie and Bizzie step back from them to avoid contact. Louisa is a little more accommodating. The Bush Fairies are unfazed
SARKI: (Appearing from behind his toadstool, with the others) That’s quite enough from you, Private. I’ll speak to you shortly. You’ve destroyed the operation completely. Follow me! Snottygobbles, on the left … march! Hup, two, three, four – hup, two three four …
They follow him out in a motley line, with Sarama compliant with the instructions but fearful of the consequences. Loud combined sniff as they exit.
MOTHER BEE: Zzz. Now that was very odd. Zzz. Were they there all the time?
LIZZIE: And why were they eavesdropping on us like that?
BIZZIE: And what did Sarki mean when he talked about the ‘operation’?
LOUISA: I’m really glad I’m not in that young Snottygobble’s shoes. She’s gonna get it!
PINGLE: Well, I think they know more about all this than they’re telling us.
MALLEE: So do I.
MOUSE EARS: And I think we’ve scared them off with the things we said about them. We’ve hurt their feelings, you know. They’re very sensitive!
MOTHER BEE: A Snottygobble with feelings! I doubt that my dears. But we definitely must try to find out what’s happening here in our lovely forest. It’s very worrying.
LIZZIE: (A poster in her hand, excitedly) I know what we can do! We can ask Madame Sosostris!
MOTHER BEE: Who?
BIZZIE: Ooh yes, she’s the Fortune Teller -
LOUISA: - from Gorgonzola’s Circus
LIZZIE: And they’re coming to the Banksia Forest this very night. (Pointing to the details on the poster) She can tell the future and I’m sure she’ll know what lies behind this … and whether, one day, I’ll travel the world, have wonderful adventures and meet a tall, dark and handsome stranger!
LOUISA: Not Bizzie (They giggle.)
BIZZIE: (Used to this, shrugs) Whatever!
PINGLE: (To the Bush Fairies) What do you think?
MALLEE: I think we should at least try it – Madame Sosostris is fantastic.
MOUSE EARS: A bit scary, but that’s because she’s so powerful. Let’s go to the Circus then. They usually set up in the clearing not far from here.
PINGLE: Right, I’ll meet you all there – I’m going to see if I can find the Snottygobbles and sort things out with them. I have a feeling we may need their help.
LOUISA: Cool! Nobody’s grounded after all! We’re going to the Circus!
The Bush Fairies ‘fly’ off . Mallee and Mouse Ears USL, Pingle USR where the Snottygobbles exited.
The children join hands and dance around happily as Mother Bee gathers her pollen basket.
MOTHER BEE: Come along now, children. That’s enough of that.
Exit, following the Fairies USL. Mouse Ears has waited for them.
Thunder and Lightning FX. Evil laughter of Caballus echoes across the stage. Lights dim on stage as Grot and Grime, the goblin warriors enter from DSR. They should look frightful, grubby and revolting and be carrying arms (but the costume link between them and the Snottygobbles must be established at the same time. They are all of the same tribe. They should be rather dull-witted in their exchanges)
GROT: So, where are they? Where’ve they all gone, Goblin Grime? They were here a moment ago, I swear!
GRIME: We can’t have lost them, Goblin Grot – our Master, Caballus, King of the Goblins, will be furious if we have!
GROT: And we know what that means. (He gestures, indicating ‘off with their heads’. They both snort and guffaw at the prospect and are caught up short as Bluey returns) Hello – who have we here!?
They crouch in threatening positions as Bluey enters.
Muck will wander in and observe it all, ducking down behind the band-stand till it’s all over and then running off as Caballus’ evil laugh echoes across the stage at the end.
She is looking for the others and enters – unwittingly - from USR or L depending. He is caught short by their presence.
BLUEY: G’day, Mate. (Puts out a hand to shake, but they withdraw, menacingly crouched still) Zzz Bluey the Fly, at you service – so what’s your business here? You smell worse than a dingo’s watsis – and that’s sayin’ something! (Sniffs the air) Even the Snottygobbles zzzz aren’t as smelly as you two!
GROT: Snottygobbles, did you say? You know where they are?
BLUEY: No mate, that’s the thing. I don’t. They were here a minute ago and now they’ve gone. They’re like that! Zzzz the Snottygobbles
GRIME: (Sizing him up, stupidly) He’s lying, Grot. I can always tell when they’re lying!
BLUEY: (Indignantly) Zzzz No, I’m not! Not sure about you two – even if I did know where they were, I wouldn’t tell you two. That’s it – I’m off – If you’ll zzzz excuse me
He starts to head past them, not suspecting their plan.
GROT: (To Grime) He’ll do, I think, Grime.. Caballus, King of the Goblins will get him to speak.
GRIME: Yeah! We’ll take him with us!
They circle and bear down on him.
BLUEY: Zzz Oh no you won’t! Bluey the Blowfly goes his own way, thank you!
The Goblins leap on him, quickly, and subdue him with tape.
GROT: Catch him, Grime
GRIME: Got him, Grot!
BLUEY: (Struggling, but their ‘paper gives them the upper hand) Fly-paper! Zzzz. What a low trick to pull on a bloke, ya drongoes.
GROT: Caballus, King of the Goblins, we have an interesting little captive for you!
GRIME: He’ll be SO pleased with us.
Muffled sounds from Bluey as Caballus’ evil laugh echoes through the forest. Muck runs CS, looks about her in fear and trembling then runs off to find help. She returns later with Pingle and the others.
The CURTAIN FALLS.
During this scene change the circus wagon and a booth are set up to signal Gorgonzola’s presence. Bunting, flags and a balloon seller complete the festive circus setting.
Scene 6 (Interlude)
Lights up on apron as Puck enters.
He’s eating an ice-cream or chips or a chocolate bar and is in full beach mode. Sunnies, zinc, cap.
PUCK: Now where’s my apprentice, that useless Muck! Not sure she’ll ever learn how to be a real goblin. Takes a lot of talent, which is something I (bowing to them) have a LOT of!(Shows them his bag of lollies) See what I got? No fairy bread at the deli in Fremantle - you call it ‘Freo’, do you? But look at this! I bet you wish you had this for your school lunch, don’t you? It’s SOOO unhealthy! But if you’re a goblin it’s cool. We live forever, see, and don’t have to worry about healthy eating like humans do. No broccoli or carrots for us! No! We can eat as much junk as we like. So, guys, I’m off to the Circus to catch up with my old friend, Gorgonzola. I haven’t seen him for at least 100 years. I wonder if he still has the stilt-walking act … and the clowns! And there was the scary lady who could tell the future, too… Madame “Something”? Madame …? (he may get some help from the audience here). I can’t really remember it was that long ago! (Confidentially) And there was this really cool chick, Columbine (demonstrates the way his heart beat when he saw her) Wow! You should have seen her. (Dawning on him) Well, you will!
Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be back… listen – that’s the sound of the Circus. I’m outa here!
He exits SL behind the bandstand. Adding as an afterthought.
Look if that naughty Pixie comes back, tell her I’m off to the circus, will you? Gorgonzola’s Circus!
Muck runs onstage just as Puck exits, looking a little frantic.
MUCK: Which way did he go? Oh, I’m in such trouble! Where’d he go? Which way? That way? Circus? What circus? Gorgonzola’s Circus! Oh – THAT way! Thanks so much – you’re legends, all of you. Thanks SO much!
The children will (hopefully) give directions, which Muck willfully misreads. After two false starts she finally gets it right and runs off after Puck.
Scene 7.
The sounds of the circus are heard faintly in the distance.
The CURTAIN FLIES to reveal the stage set for the Circus. The performers are all from the Commedia dell’Arte tradition in their dress but they should have specific circus skills.
[Going to return to characters from The Greatest Show on Earth, here, with Papa Gorgonzola (a Puncinello character with a wayward handle-bar moustache), his wife, Madame Sosostris (Judy, mercifully minus a moustache), Cucurucu, the trapeze artist with the curling moustache and the passionate temperament, the sad clown, Pierrot, Columbine, the stilt-walker and, of course, Harlequin, the jester figure (juggler). They’re of the goblin tribe, but went in for entertainment rather than conventional magic.]
As the music fades, Gorgonzola, in full Ringmaster mode, complete with whip, which he cracks alarmingly from time to time, strides CS as the troop gathers round. They seldom keep still but busy themselves with warm-ups, stretches and even a little juggling practice. He steps up onto the podium in order to make his announcement.
GORGONZOLA: Friends, gather round! I have wonderful news! Our hard work and reputation have secured us … (pauses dramatically) a Command Performance!
MADAME: It is a dream come true, my love. And it’s all thanks to you. (Turning benevolently to the rest of them) My dearest Papa Gorgonzola has –
GORGONZOLA: (Interrupting her before she reveals the delightful surprise he has in store for them) My dear Madame, allow me to speak –
MADAME: (Excessively apologetically) But of course, my love, I do beg your pardon. Of course! How foolish of me … please, the podium is yours! (She gestures towards it).
GORGONZOLA: Thank you my dear (Aside, to the audience) A lovely woman, but a bit overbearing. (Turning to his immediate audience again and beaming at them) Friends, we are about to return to the Old Country!
CUCURUCU: This cannot be true! Whatever would drag us back there?
MADAME: (Bristling, taking over, she has an antagonistic relationship with Cucurucu) Papa Gorgonzola has just heard –
GORGONZOLA: (Through clenched teeth, his smile a little fixed) Madame, I must beg you to be silent!
MADAME: As you wish, Papa Gorgonzola. (She subsides, but there’s a bit of business between her and Cucurucu before they both give up.)
PIERROT: (Mournfully) Come on Papa Gorgonzola, what’s the news, then!
GORGONZOLA: (Slightly deflated, losing his momentum and so reading it without the flair he’d intended.) Well, we’ve been invited to perform for the Queen of the Fairies, on midsummer night, no less. I have here a letter signed by Titania herself. (Getting back into the swing of it. He flourishes the letter from which fairy dust falls, gleaming to the floor!)
MADAME: Is this not wonderful? The pinnacle of your career, my love.
CUCURUCU: (Under his breath) Yours, you mean! The power behind the throne!
COLUMBINE: (Looking at the invitation) This is very exciting. A performance at the court of the Queen of the Fairies! I can hardly believe it.
HARLEQUIN: We’ve heard so many stories about your life in the Old Country. I can’t wait to get there and to meet our Long Lost Rellies! We’ll have to work really hard, though, if we’re to perform for Royalty. (She juggles a few rounds as the others cheer her on.)
GORGONZOLA: My feelings exactly! I expect from all of you … per-fection, no less!
MADAME: We don’t want to embarrass ourselves at the Court of the Queen of the Fairies. (She takes the invitation and holds it to her bosom in a reverie.) A dream come true! Oh how I long for the beauty of the forests and fields of the Old Country.
CUCURUCU: Are you sure about this, Brother? It’s been a long time since we were there, you know.(Aside) So many memories …
PIERROT: … and not all of them good, Cucurucu! Here in Australia we’ve been free of our Tribe.
MADAME: Don’t be so gloomy, Pierrot. This is a great honour for Papa Gorgonzola, for all of us –
The lights dim a little, flicker and then stabilize
GORGONZOLA: There must be something wrong with the Bush Fairies, the lights aren’t working as they should. I’ll need to speak to them. I have a show to put on and we need light … Come Madame, let us see what’s to be done about this.
MADAME: (Excitedly) A crisis, I love a crisis!
They exit USL as Harlequin and Columbine head to the cart for some equipment to practice with. Plates, scarves.
CUCURUCU (Aside): He’s forgotten – the last time the lights in the forests went out was back there, in the Old Country. I wonder if he’s behind it again?
PIERROT: What are you thinking, my friend. Do you think this is more than a momentary power failure? This is not the work of Caballus, King of the Goblins – surely…?
CUCURUCU: Who can say…? His power is huge, his ambition even greater! And he has no love for Oberon, King of the Fairies and more powerful than himself!
PIERROT: And he’s tried before to destroy the magic in the world. To destroy the Enchanted Forest. To put out the light …
CUCURUCU: - and cover the world in darkness.
PIERROT: He must not succeed. (Aware of an imminent arrival) One moment - who do we have here?
HARLEQUIN: There’s someone coming! No (in disbelief) It can’t be –
COLUMBINE: - it is! I don’t believe this!
On cue Puck enters, this time dressed as a trapeze artist/strongman. (I see him in striped long-johns carrying dumb bells like the side-show muscle-men of the Victorian era, perhaps.) Music FX drum roll plus a cymbal clash as he marches CS and takes up a ‘muscular’ position.
Everyone freezes during Columbine’s Aside.
COLUMBINE: (To the audience, aside) It’s that gorgeous goblin, Puck. I haven’t seen him in a hundred years! Oh, how he makes my heart flutter. (Turning dramatically and looking up at him and then away) But he shall never know my secret! That I admire him (she strikes a dramatic attitude) – dreadfully!
PUCK: (To the audience, aside) It’s that cute chick, Columbine. How she makes my heart flutter. But she must never know my secret – that I think she’s hot!
Everyone simultaneously unfreezes
CUCURUCU: (Recognising an old friend) Puck, what brings you so far from the Enchanted Garden?
PUCK: (Standing upright) Cucurucu, my old mate!
There is some blokey business between them – a brief physical exchange, a bit of arm punching, head-wrestling, karate etc. – with Puck calling it off first. Columbine anxiously punctuates their action with calls for them to stop it, to no avail.
When Cucurucu finally has Puck at his ‘mercy’ Pierrot does a count-down (10, 9, 8 … etc.)
PIERROT: And the winner is – Cucurucu!
PUCK: That’s all right then, you win, enough, enough!
CUCURUCU: (Dusting his hands.) Still the same old Puck. (Laughs) And no stronger than you were a hundred years ago!
Enter the Bush Fairies, Mallee and Mouse Ears with Mother Bee, Lizzie, Bizzie and Louisa, to consult with Madame Sosostris and to see the Circus performance. Pingle is still off trying to locate the Snottygobbles.
COLUMBINE: (Darting forward) It’s Mallee and Mouse Ears! Our favourite fairies. Harlequin, come and say hello!
They greet each other enthusiastically.
MALLEE: We’re here on urgent business – there’s not a moment to lose.
HARLEQUIN: What do you mean? Is it serious?
COLUMBINE: It’s not to do with the lights, is it? I must say, it’s very dim in the forest tonight and Papa Gorgonzola is really worried we won’t be able to perform.
CUCURUCU: (Looking round the assembled group). So there is something wrong, is there? You’ve noticed it too.
MOUSE EARS: It’s the magic – that lights the candles. It’s getting weaker every day. Soon we won’t be able to light them at all!
MOTHER BEE: Then what will happen to all the living creatures of the Banksia Forest?
LIZZIE: (A little intimidated, but determined to get a result). We thought we might ask Madame Sosostris, you see. Her crystal ball –
BIZZIE: (Interrupting, briefly) – we saw it on the poster!
LOUISA: (Trying to assert herself a little) I found the poster, guys.
LIZZIE: - her crystal ball might tell us what we need to know.
MALLEE: She can read the future, can’t she?
The Circus people look solemn and nod in agreement. Cucurucu pulls Puck aside
PIERROT: Well, yes – but it’s an enormous strain, and she’ll only do it if she really has to!
HARLEQUIN: Columbine, let’s fetch her – and Papa Gorgonzola.
COLUMBINE: I hope she’s in the right mood for it. She can be very temperamental you know. (Confidentially) She’s an ‘artiste’ you know
They run US to fetch Madame and Papa Gorgonzola as the others gather, with the insects and fairies looking at the circus paraphernalia. Bizzie, Lizzie and Louisa examine a helium balloon from the bunch.
CUCURUCU: Have you heard anything, Puck?
PUCK: Not a thing!
CUCURUCU: Is this Caballus’ work?
PUCK: (Surprised) I haven’t a clue. I’m on holiday, here, you see and when I left everything was fine! King Oberon would not have let me – and that useless apprentice of mine (where is she by the way?) – leave if there’d been trouble brewing.
CUCURUCU: Well there’s something wrong… and it smells of the old battles, my friend!
COLUMBINE: (Announcing the arrival of the Fortune Teller to the tune of the circus) I give you – Madame Sosostris!
HARLEQUIN: (Getting into the swing of things) Madam Sosostris! Who can tell the future!
Madame enters, cloaked and scarved, with huge gypsy ear-rings and bangles from her wrists. She is carrying the crystal ball. She strikes an attitude holding it aloft. Papa Gorgonzola is just behind her, looking very worried. Pierrot stands off to one side a little, shaking his head.
PIERROT: (Aside) I hope this is worth it!
COLUMBINE: (In side-show alley tones) Just cross her palm with silver!
HARLEQUIN: I think we can leave that bit out, Columbine. It’s not about the money this time!
COLUMBINE: (A little deflated) Of course not, sorry – we give you …
TOGETHER: Madame Sosostris!
CUCURUCU: (Dryly) Nothing like an audience to get her going –
PUCK: She certainly knows how to make an entrance!
LIZZIE: Oooh this is so exciting!
BIZZIE: I’m a bit scared, Lizzie –
LOUISA: Shh –zzz, you two. Listen.
MOTHER BEE: Quiet, children, she’s about to speak!
MADAME: (Dramatically looking first up then down into the ball, registers horror, covers her eyes and turns to the Fairies) Aaah! It is worse than we thought –
MOUSE EARS: What is it? Oh please tell us!
MALLEE: What is making the candles go out?
GORGONZOLA: (He is attentive at these times, naively impressed by her capacity to foretell the future.) Look, the crystal ball is glowing. She’s at the height of her powers now and mustn’t be disturbed if we’re to see it all! Don’t say anything. Just watch!
They all freeze.
Scene 8
Lights down on the stage and up on the balconies where Titania and Oberon, are revealed. They speak across the void and it’s clear that they are at odds with each other.
OBERON: (Angrily) Queen Titania, you will do as I say!
TITANIA: (Affronted). I … do as you say! I think not, Oberon!
OBERON: I will not be disobeyed!
TITANIA: And how, may I ask, will you make me?
OBERON: Like this! (He stretches out an arm over the auditorium and SFX thunder are followed by the dimming of the lights) Let there be darkness wherever you go, Queen of the Fairies!
TITANIA: (Exasperated) Oooh! That’s just like you, Oberon. Well, I can do it too. (She raises her arms. SFX thunder, and the lights dim again) Let there be darkness wherever you go, King of the Fairies. I shall NEVER obey you!
Scene 9
Lights down on the balconies as we return to the Circus scene. Lights up on stage
Madame Sosostris is still channeling the ‘Future’.
MADAME: And that’s why the magic is dying. They’re at war with each other!
CUCURUCU: It’s as we thought, Brother. He’s on the move again, the Evil One
GORGONZOLA: Caballus! King of the Goblins is behind this!
MALLEE: Is this true?
MADAME: My crystal ball never lies –
PUCK: Oberon and Titania, my master and mistress at war with each other? This is dreadful! (Ruefully) Well, there goes my holiday and I probably won’t get a break again for another 400 years!
CUCURUCU: We must drive back the forces of evil if it’s the last thing we do.
PUCK: It’s not that simple, though. (To the audience) It never is in a fairy story!
MADAME: For Good to triumph, Oberon and Titania must first be reconciled.
PUCK: That’s right, they have to be friends again!
PIERROT: But there’s the problem of Caballus’ power –
HARLEQUIN: Surely there must be a way to defeat him!
CUCURUCU: It’s been done before – long ago, before we left the Old Country.
COLUMBINE: (to the audience) And I, my one true love!
GORGONZOLA: What a battle it will be! There’s not a moment to lose. Pack up our tent! Put away the equipment. We must be gone before dawn if we’re to reach the Enchanted Garden before midsummer night.
He begins to round up his people. Cucurucu, Pierrot and Puck move DS.
CUCURUCU: We must discover his weakness – if only we could remember!
PIERROT: It was too long ago…
PUCK: Someone must know what his weakness is!
GORGONZOLA: (summoning them, peremptorily) There is no time to waste!
MADAME: (emerging from her reverie) Oh, how forceful you are, Papa Gorgonzola!
The circus people – and Puck - begin putting things away and folding up the tent. Gorgonzola cracks his whip to move things along. Madame Sosostris remains dramatically lost in thought, gazing into her crystal ball. Pingle’s music cue – flute – heralds her arrival.
Pingle runs in, out of breath, followed by Muck who starts inspecting and playing with some of the circus stuff in the cart oblivious to her surroundings. And to Puck’s attempts to get her to attend to him. She’s sulking with him because he’s abandoned her.
PINGLE: (Breathing hard) I’ve just come from the Snottygobbles –
LIZZIE and BIZZIE: (In unison) Euwgh!
PINGLE: And they say they know who’s behind this! (Catches her breath.)
EVERYONE: Caballus, King of the Goblins!
PINGLE: And (she pauses for greater emphasis of the point) they know how to defeat him!
EVERYONE: (In amazement.) What?
PINGLE: (With a mixture of annoyance and distress). But they’re not telling anyone - ever –
MUCK: And they’ve vanished, gone completely, into the air … not a Snottygobble to be seen – or heard - anywhere! Just like that Blowfly!
MOTHER BEE: Bluey? What do you know about him?
MUCK: Nothing! Just that there was this loud noise, someone laughing – and the next thing I saw, the Blowfly –
LOUISA: My dad!
MUCK:(A little uncomfortable as all eyes are on her.) - the Blowfly had vanished. Just like the Snottygobbles! Into the bush, amazing really.
PUCK: This is the work of Caballus!
CUCURUCU: He must be found and defeated. Once and for all! But I’m not sure we can do it.
PUCK: He will never surrender!
MADAME: (Shuddering at her vision) Aaah! The magic is working! The ball is growing cloudy! Beware, my friends, Darkness awaits you all! Unless … unless … what is this I see?
She looks at Lizzie in surprise.
MADAME: (Gasping)The power lies in you, my child. (Including Louisa and Bizzie)You and your friends…it is the young … the young ones who have the power.
COLUMBINE: (Calling from the cart – to her it’s a revelation) Of course they do! Children always see more clearly than any of us!
MADAME: It is only the young who can restore magic to the world!
HARLEQUIN: They must come with us then!
MOTHER BEE: (Pulling things together) In that case, so must I. You’re not going anywhere without me, children!
LIZZIE: At last - I do get to travel to faraway places!
BIZZIE: Oh, Lizzie, I’m a bit nervous zzz. What if it doesn’t work and that evil goblin, Caballus, gets us?
LOUISA: Well, I don’t care. (to Circus troupe) I’m coming with you if it’s the last thing I do! If Caballus has taken my father prisoner –
She sobs at the thought and the others comfort her.
GORGONZOLA: We shall head west across the seas on the Trade Winds. Pingle, Mallee, Mouse Ears, you must find the Snottygobbles and bring them with you to the Enchanted Garden. Oberon and Titania are under Caballus’ spell –
LFX dimming of stage lights.
COLUMBINE: Oh, look the candles are dimming again!
HARLEQUIN: They’re nearly out completely!
PIERROT: (Lugubriously). It’s probably too late. All is lost.
GORGONZOLA:(Cracks his whip.) We must not waste anymore time. Performers … let us leave. To the Enchanted Garden.
MALLEE: We’d better let the Flower Fairies know we’re coming!
PINGLE: (Taking out a fairy mobile: green and mossy as befits a WA context) I’ll text them the details and tell them to expect us tonight!
GORGONZOLA: Yes, we’ll be there tonight! (Cracks his whip) With or without the Snottygobbles
MADAME: Masterful, so…strong. But I do wish you’d contain yourself, my love! Someone could get hurt!
PIERROT: (Sorrowfully to anyone who is listening) Someone always does, I’m afraid.
They head off in the cart and beside it, Gorgonzola cracking his whip, Madame Sosostris sweeping US – cautiously - on his other arm, the performers tumbling, Lizzie, Bizzie and Louisa in the cart with Mother Bee. Muck follows Harlequin, Columbine and Pierrot who should be singing as they exit.
Cucurucu and Puck wait behind. They catch the fairies’ attention.
CUCURUCU: Can you persuade them to tell us their secret?
PINGLE: I’ll do my best! But you’ll have to help me! (To Mallee and Mouse Ears).
MALLEE: We must be really nice to them, though.
MOUSE EARS: IF we can find them first! (To Muck) Will you help us?
MUCK: (bowing low to them) Muck, the Apprentice, at your service!
PUCK: (observes this with some skepticism) Well, I wish you luck with her! (thoughtfully) I wonder what Madame Sosostris meant when she said that the young ones had power? Mmmm … (to the fairies and Cucurucu, gesturing over his shoulder to indicate the audience.) Do you think we could ask them to help? If we needed it?
CUCURUCU: (Swinging on the rope that hangs from the balcony.) No, I don’t think they’d be any good, my friend. We need trained soldiers, we need an army ready for battle. We need the bravest of the brave! (He lands DSC and looks directly at them) And I don’t think they’re up to it it! Nah, afraid not.
PINGLE: Don’t be so certain, Cucurucu!
MALLEE: To defeat Caballus, we’ll need all the help we can get!
MOUSE EARS: And I’m sure these children want to help us…You do, don’t you?
Some stage business with them of the “will you/won’t you ?” variety. All involved but Cucurucu will remain skeptical.
PINGLE:(closes off the exchange, which hopefully concludes in the audience wanting to help!) We knew you’d want to help.
MALLEE: Thanks so much!
MOUSE EARS: We’ll be off then – come along Pingle, Mallee, Muck.
They start to exit USL in search of the Snottygobbles.
CUCURUCU: (surveying the audience doubtfully) I’m not so sure…
PUCK: But we do need the Snottygobbles too – they know the secret! Meet us in the Enchanted Garden tonight, Bush Fairies, and - (To the children) don’t go anywhere. I’ll be back!
He and Cucurucu exit DSR with Cucurucu discussing the ‘sense’ of his being ‘back’: “Of course you will, the story isn’t over …” Puck: I know, there’s still Act 2 … etc.
The fairies and Muck exit USL.
Lights down on stage. BLACKS fly in
![]()
[1] A Midsummer Night’s Dream was first published in 1600 from a manuscript thought to have been written by Shakespeare himself.
Back to... Week Six - Week Seven
...or go to... Snottygobbles - Act Two
View other 'Snottygobble' production extras... Julian's Drawings One Julian's Drawings Two
Circus Skills Photo Gallery Mel's Acting CV Geoff Glencross Theatre History
First Draft Second Draft Final Script - Act One Final Script - Act Two
Samantha's Costume One Samantha's Costume Two Paul's Unbanned Suicide Run Costume Fitting
Dance Workshop Darren's Character Profile First Dress Rehearsal One First Dress Rehearsal Two
First Dress Rehearsal Three First Dress Rehearsal Four Jamie at the Final Dress Rehearsal
Final Dress Rehearsal One Final Dress Rehearsal Two Final Dress Rehearsal Three
Final Dress Rehearsal Four Pre-show Make-up Wrap-up
...or view other 2006 'Notice Board' entries... Week One - Week Two Week Three - Week Four
Study Break One - Week Five Week Six - Week Seven Study Break Two - Week Eight
Week Nine - Week Ten Week Eleven - Week Twelve Week Thirteen Week Fourteen
...or view other Notice Board entries... 2005 Children's Theatre Notice Board
Go to Children's Theatre: My Journal History Notice Board Your Work
Contact Andrew @ thechaseison@optusnet.com.au
This page last updated: 30th June 2006